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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-09-22 16:57:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Between the Wind and the Song of Calling Geese

Between the wind and the song of calling geese is where I want to live. They touch my cheeks and ears with your presence. On chilly nights, when spotted owls are quieter-- still looking for remainder frogs, I lift my face to feel the moon you made. I want to sit on the wooden bench by the tree which drops its leaves on my spent summer blooms-- a wine-red and gold altar cloth of your grace. For these, and more, all I have to offer is my thankfulness.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-06 15:10:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47826
Here I am like a bad penny. I really don't know how all your poems got bunched together on my list. But I have been having a Joanne feast lately!. lol. This is certainly last but not least in your list of poems this month. Nothing makes me happier than a poem that gives thanks to our Creator. First this title is really long, yet it communicates the exact thing you want it to. The first stanza says to me that you love your Creator and want to always be in His presence. That these simple pleasures remind you of all He has created and what it means to you. The second stanza is delightful the way you "feel the moon" like you feel the sun on a warm sunny afternoon. Very inovative way of thinking! "Remander frogs" is an interesting way to speak of the frogs that are still left yet when the air starts to chill and fall begins to be upon us. The image in stanza three makes my heart do a little dance. I love this kind of imagry. "I want to sit on the wooden bench by the tree which drops its leaves on my spent summer blooms-- a wine-red and gold altar cloth"---now this is just the lovliest of thoughts! And to end with giving your thanks make this a kind of poetic prayer. I am putting this one on my voting list. It is so uplifting and spiritual and that always is my favorite. Thanks so much for this one. It is the desert of my Joanne feast! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: C Arrownut On Date: 2003-10-05 22:03:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 6.50000
Hi Joanne, I definitely like this poem. It reminds me of the splendar of the age old Oak Trees which lined a street I lived on in Illinois. The coming out of the green in spring brought a canopy of the love God must have given them. Such Splendor in the grass and trees. And every fall the fiery array of orange and yellow provided another canopy of God's love. Then the squealing of the Robins, Blue Birds, and the quiet but forever industrious ants. All there to remind me of God's love for all things. Your poem reminded me of that time, a warm memory of spring, summer, and fall, then the anticipation of the wait while the snow fell definitely made the first speck of green even more luscious. And it indeed feels like God's grace just as you mention in your poem. In the first stanza I can just feel the wind against my face once more. A poem is fabulous to the extent it evokes memories that the reader has long since forgotten. Excellent poem and should be rated higher on the list. Good Going. I enjoyed your poem and the title works extremely well with this feeling you evoke. Thank you for sharing such a near part of yourself. C.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-10-02 14:02:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38095
Dear Joanne, I see the speaker here as very much a part of nature but longing to be even more embbedded. This is a lovely converstion with the creator and also such wonderful tribute to fall. And your images woo mama they are lushious. a wine-red and gold altar cloth I love the singlur line of your grace. I love the scientific mic of language (remainder frogs) with the more romantic imgages (Between the wind) Such graceful A poem to reread. Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-23 20:36:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52000
Oh poet the Lord smiles down upon you this fine day as He always does but more so as this is such a lovely prayer.....the total essence of His being is represented in your words......between the wind and the song of the calling geese.....can you not hear the voice of God calling out to you in such a space of time.....the wind carries the tune and the calling geese are calling you home....beautiful my dear friend.....ever uplifting in thought.....and to feel them touch your ckeeks and fill your ears...with His presence.....over and over again this just brings such a peaceful feeling within my soul..... I lift my face to feel the moon you made.......wonderfully stated for He is there again warming you in many ways.....never leaving you in the dark for His light does indeed shine day and night....in the most inner parts of our beings and farthest corners of this earth He is there....... I want to sit on the wooden bench by the tree which drops its leaves on my spent summer blooms-- a wine-red and gold altar cloth of your grace. the above represents a most holy place within your reach.....and knowing the Lord is there one should find themself visiting every day, Spring, Summer, Winter or Fall for the graces abound in thee.... In closing I am sure you know that the Lord seeks nothing more then knowing you are there and that you are thankful He is too......Together you walk, hand in hand through this beautiful place within your spirits as they are joined together in heart, home and life..... A prayer this poem is, filled with all of God's good graces, a warm feeling of love fills my every being just by reading it and to actually sit on that wooden bench beside you and the Lord is majestic in beauty my friend.....for God is Love and you are too. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us....it shall reach out and touch the heart of many and I pray they send a copy to those they know will be touched by it as well. Again, be safe, thank you and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-09-23 12:33:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joanne, Man O Man!!!!!...and I just told you where I'm from, only to, moments later, read where you long to be and truth revealed already reside. This is so-o-o incredibly powerful. Not in as an external brute force, but as an internal levitating energy of grace. You show us the eternal by unwrapping it from the presence, (presents), surrounding us. This is the essence of spirituality. This is the mystery made obvious. What vision you possess. "Between the wind and the song of calling geese is where I want to live. They touch my cheeks and ears with your presence." Joanne, in order to write this you have had to experience it. And if you have experienced it then you you are not so much speaking in the future tense as you are the eternally present tense. This is not a poetically spiritual longing. This is born of the breeze and the calling geese within you. You are between them. You are of them. On chilly nights, when spotted owls are quieter-- still looking for remainder frogs, I lift my face to feel the moon you made. You should "texture" lessons. "On chilly nights, when spotted owls are quieter"...there is no bringing it any closer than that. I want to sit on the wooden bench by the tree which drops its leaves on my spent summer blooms-- a wine-red and gold altar cloth of your grace. I love the way you separated, "of your grace". It is so symbolic of the ever present, yet stand alone quality of spiritual grace. And your vision of golden fallen leaves and "spent summer blooms", (what a beatifully fluid flow by the way), as an alter cloth. For these, and more, all I have to offer is my thankfulness. Something tells me that that is all that is needed.(Sure are a lot of "thats" in that sentence. Why do I always do that?) As you know Joanne, I'm not much of a believer in the "Grand Organizer Of Things", I've always felt that was our job, but I have to say this. Your spiritual truths and the way you reveal them are beyond reproach. You have reverence, born out of a desire for understanding and a genuine thankfulness that never wanes, and you lay it before us in such gentle, unassuming prose. Thank you. I'm beginning to understand where it is you are from... Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2003-09-22 22:59:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Joanne, I have a difficult time passing up any of your poetry for each piece inspires me immensely. You have that “unknown” knowledge that many don’t now know as of yet, to be able to feel the “wind” and hear the “song” calling to us, as if “with us”. You have been through the realm of searching and the subtle delight and yes, the intense pain, of hearing the song and wanting to follow the geese at times. Yet you stay and as each fall approaches, you sit still, listening, watching, and knowing you’re God is there with you. This poem, in the eloquent way you have displayed, gives me some of you’re thoughts shares apart of you’re heart. Tell me yes, there is the real and yet there is the indisputable, and you have found the reality of heaven and earth in the blending of summer and fall. The presence we all call upon is even more real to you and you speak it as though it flows from your essence. The nights get chillier but this means to you that you grow closer to the dependence on God and the wonder of what you will find someday, something you have been waiting for and is held within your heart dearly. Now, I realize this poem has many elements and metaphors, so I may be reading something into this, but for some reason this one touched my heart, possibly it was that flock of geese that just flew over and I thought of you. As night draws to deeper degrees of cold, things seem to settle down to conserve all energy. But you can look up at the heavens and see clearer than ever this time of year. I will sit by you on that wooden bench, as I am sure Jo Mo would as well, and we can watch the weightless leaves fly by, drifting as our thoughts and hearts drift with them. Thank goodness we have a God, a faith, and a reason to go on, for there is much more and even though we do not know our time, we can only view goodness and mercy. Your poem has especially inspired me at this particular time in my life when I was but a “thread” from death and life. I wasn’t sure and am still not, at that particular time, if I was able to make a choice. It must have been God’s choice to keep me here a while longer, and then the we will find the glory we seek. I think you know my underlying essence here. A beautiful, peaceful, tranquil, and inspiring panorama that touches the core of my being. Thank you for sharing with us. With love, Debbie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-22 19:42:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Well, here is one long title which works wonderfully well, Between the wind and the song of calling geese is where I want to live. They touch my cheeks and ears with your presence. The personification here is glorious - it make the touch tangible and present. Simply lovely. On chilly nights, when spotted owls are quieter-- [nice] still looking for remainder [not sure -is this a type of frog?} frogs, I lift my face to feel the moon you made. As lovely a tribute as I have ever read I want to sit on the wooden bench by the tree which drops its leaves on my spent summer blooms-- [great great leap!} a wine-red and gold altar cloth of your grace. For these, and more, all I have to offer is my thankfulness. And this poem ; and I feel certain that that is plentiful gift enough. Beautiful piece Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-22 19:37:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
A heart poem, in that it touches the heart of the reader. This is one of those poems that tells us so much about the poet, and what is really important. I don't know if the creator need thanks from me, but I know I need to give thanks to the creator for - everything. The imagery of worship in nature, the mix of spiritual and nature imagery, all of these things worked to build within me a stillness of soul as I read. Surely this is the best poem of all, that inner peace. Thank you, Joanne. I needed to read this tonight, Rene

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terrye Godown On Date: 2003-09-22 19:10:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
"Between the wind and the song of calling geese"... free to chase the both tangible and the intangible.. this piece suspends your consciousness between reality and unseen dimensions. I love the way you beckon the spirit to explore beyond the mundane and invite the soul to be charged by the infinite forces of nature and the awesome presence of a creator. The sense of self discovery seems to invite you to limitless proportions, that unfold with each line. Very spiritually ingniting Joanne! You present a feeling of communication with God in this piece, or at least a higher being I presume, and on that note I'd suggest your capitalizing words pertaining to this "presence".. "your", and "you" which occur in the first and second stanzas and the fourth (one liner). Since you are lifting the reader up with your heightened sense of perception here, giving credit to this entity, it seems appropriate that you emphasize those words. Also, the comma between "these" "and more" in the last stanza could be dropped I think. It seems like it would read more gracefully without the pause there. This speaks like a peaceful prayer, in spite of the small things I pointed out though. I enjoyed it Joanne! Cheerz, T

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-22 17:59:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
The sembelance of what you are calling on, is the measure of what all look, peace and tranquilty. You use earthy reminders, but for the Lunar pull that directs the couse of our existence, the peace is in the quiet belif and acknowledgement of our Creator, for ultimately we all look, and understand there is only one ending for us, and he gives us the grace while we as simple mortal being, looking to universal meaning, and know we are only a speck in the shadow of time, but many look to the grace of the creator, for only he gives us peace, where we look upon all that surrounds us. Love your choice to hit the emotional level in this poem.. Somehow it humanizes just how fragile we are, and in looking to all of creator, and allowing uur selves to blend with the beauty and tranqulity of his creation, do we gain that measure of peace. Easily I transpose myself in the wonderful artic display of all the siction, there is some very pure in this poem, and it breaks comfort to the reader, at least this one, who is experiencing, but enjoying all the simple things that surround us. I dribble and I drabble here, but to me it speaks of that last envisioning before our demise, right now I'm failing badly, and this poem gives me peace and comfort. Amen Joanne, my mortality is limited now, and I'm not frightened, as I look at the clouds floating so majestically, and see the good of creation, I'm just so glad I was a tiny speck in the shaow of time. Others may glean completely differnt sensations from this poem, but my admiration that you have the insight and skill has open vistas always there, but finally recognized. The creator regardless of doctine and belief is when our love is, for he forgives, as long as we do not compound mistakes, but learn for them, then we can see the sundowns the sunset, all the beautiful lifeforms and we understand peace. It's marvelous. No real critique but a reflective quality given as to how your poetry affects me. Love ya, be well, and know you're a differnce in peoples lives...Love, Jo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-22 17:18:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
I receive a sense of peace within this poem. You have shown me the greatfulness you have for the creator and the time spent within life. What a great beginning between the wind, the sensation is felt without knowing its presense. In your second stanza I feel the light from the moon reaching your face, this is a well written stanza and my favorite. I see aging in the next stanza and the thankfulness to have had these moments in time. I like free form structure and you have chosen your format well. Excellent poem the meaning takes it hold on this reader. Tom

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