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Night Dreams An aromatic fragrance fills the room. I catch a whiff and wonder, what is this pleasant perfume that now nudges my nose? I take a deep breath and inhale the sweet-smelling, spicy scent. It’s at that moment I discover the source of the wonderful bouquet, it’s the fragrance of your desire for me. I see a beautiful room, dimly lit by a mélange of candles. Melting slowly, filling the room with a warm amber glow. Warmth overtakes me. Watching as each wick burns, Becoming hot at the thought of the fire. Then I discover the source of this heat, it’s the heat of your passion I feel. I glance over to see an elegantly set table, fine crystal and silver glimmers. The beauty enchants me, delighting my eyes, tempting me to feast on the wonderful offerings. Exploring this exotic cuisine. Flavors, exciting, erotic, and new. It’s then I discover my hunger. To be filled with passion, warmth, desire. Soul satisfied, belly full…Alarm rings. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-05 13:19:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85000
Hi Mary,
This is a poem rife with ernest desire, warmth, passion, love, etc! Though these
things are only manifested in night dreams, still I can feel the ignition of your
words and the sensation is proliferating. First of all, I enjoyed every word and
description you put in here. It is a usual caress but the way you presented it
is very exotic.
The application of unique format and structure is also remarkable which adds the taste.
The indention is catchy! Some night dreams are horrendous which I sometimes experience
but it no compare that we also have dreams that are awesome like this. By the way,
what makes us dream good or bad? Some say that you can dream bad things when you sleep
with a full stomach. Do you believe in that? Anyway....the title is intriguing
that can draw the readers' curiousity what are these night dreams...
so let me explore the contents....
Your first input is indeed suggestic a romantic feel with this aromatic fragrance
that nudges your nose. The romantic sensation is spiced up pleasing alliteration
such as the fricative 'f' in fragrance/fills, 'w' in whiff/wonder, the plosive 'p'
in pleasant/perfume and 'n' in nudges/nose and many more.
In your story, you are dreaming of your man you discover that the source of that sweet smell
wonderful bouquet is the fragrance of his desire for you. Then your poem brings me
to the romantic scene in that beautiful room. The imagery is really adorable with that
amber glow of candles. I like the way you detailed the story like "Watching as each wick burns"
is something that gives a thrill.
That night dream experience is really cherishing that you don't want it to end. But hate the alarm
it's ringing! SMILE!
Thank you very much. It is a delight to read. For me, your poem stands flawless.
Jordan