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This Poem was Submitted By: Leo Wilder On Date: 2003-11-14 12:47:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Gerald O'Reilly

Forsaken, ravaged children, Forsaken, ravaged children. Gerald O'Reilly fondles himself as he lies in the dark on his bed, gun to his head, flickering candles, silently dancing on crosses affixed to the walls, the hammer falls. Forsaken, ravaged children, someone must take the blame. Forsaken, ravaged children, to rescue no one came. Father Loquacious, teaching young Arthur the joys of pure fatherly love, in the vestry above, touching young Arthur in ways he touched Gerald those days not so long ago, no one will know. Forsaken, ravaged chidren, someone must take the blame. Forsaken, ravaged children, to rescue no one came. Gerald O'Reilly, denied last communion and placed in unholy ground, no salvation found, Father Loquacious, saved by the silence of lives he profoundly changed, dead or deranged. Forsaken, ravaged children, someone must take the blame. Forsaken, ravaged children, to rescue no one came. See the forsaken, ravaged children. See the forsaken, ravaged children.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2003-12-06 11:10:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.86111
Leo - We borrow from the Beatles, eh? A bit of "Elinor Rigby" - No harm there - Dylan borrowed melodies and form from many places (Woody Guthrie, The Childe Ballads) and it served him well. The problem for me is, instead of paying attention to your message, I keep hearing Paul McCartney singing in my head. Thanks for the read Sean

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-12-01 23:17:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hi Leo, Oh my, "Eleanor Rigby" will never sound the same to me! This is so stark and the repetition of images is mesmerizing. You give evil a name, and then go on to verify the cycle of abuse that has led O'Reilly to this place, to this final point. But once he, like the children whom he has defiled, must also have been a pure soul. Perhaps he hopes to restore some of the balance by taking his own life ... but we know that cannot be possible. Tone in this one is what makes the poem so vivid. There's anger, sorrow, cynicism, bitterness and, in the end, despair for the "ravaged children" whose lives cannot be repaired. The flickering candles on the crosses turn them into wavering symbols of a Church gone awry. The original occupant of the Cross would not offer His blessings on any such travesties. The irony of "pure fatherly love" is, of course, appalling. I know this is set to the melody of a familiar song but I couldn't sing it ... too intense, too filled with anguish and rage. You've done a remarkable job because I was startled by the poem as soon as I began to read it! My Best, Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-11-28 16:12:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.39130
Dear Leo, This is such a gut wrenching poem that leaves this reader with anger at the Church and all the Priests that were envolved..especially the ones that were never discovered..such as Father Loquacious who was saved because his victums were either dead or deranged. Also I feel such sorrow for Gerald O'Reilly who took his own life to escape his demons. The repetition of.."Forsaken, raveged, children, merely increases the intensity of the entire piece. I can feel the pathos in every word...in fact I was compelled to read it several times even though, each time, it effected more profoundly. I don't know anyone personally that has endured such a crime...or maybe I do without knowing it. Any crime against a child is horrific and should never be allowed to happen. This is an important piece of poetry and I can only hope that someone, who was ever involved, should read your words. Also I hope that you did not write this from personal experience as it must have been difficult to write with such emotion even if it happened to someone close to you. Blessings and Happy Holidays...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-19 17:59:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58824
Very deep and intense emotions running through the lines within the lines poet....well structured, I find the repetition of some words adding to this piece for it brings to life the depth of the emotions within.....the sadness of the crime being committed is horible and it appears to be unpunished to the one being that should be punished and the victims are torn, lost, and now gone....to take one's life over this is painful enough and to be denied the last sacrement of your faith unthinkable, to be buried with those not in favor....of days gone by and times of old.......over and over you have touched my soul with this emotional piece......I have never known such a priest to exist within my own upgringing though I am certain there they were.....doing their touchings and harming clean souls in the process.....I pray this was not a personal experience for you dear poet......so many victims still.......thank you for posting and sharing this most difficult piece to write.....be safe in your travels and may the Lord bless you always, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-11-18 04:26:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
hi leo,i enjoyed reading your poem. it is powerful.the visuals you used made it even more powerful, i.e., Gerald O'Reilly fondles himself as he lies in the dark on his bed, gun to his head, flickering candles, silently dancing on crosses affixed to the walls, the hammer falls. i like these lines.thanks for sharing your work. i hope to read more of them soon. thanks again.april

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-11-15 10:45:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Hi, Leo The rhythms of this remarkable piece remind me of the Beatles song ,Elinor Rigby," I am chilled by that as I find my self humming: Gerald O'Reilly fondles himself as he lies in the dark on his bed, gun to his head, but the sentiment is much more sinister and you capture the evil in this haunting exploration of exploitation of children. There are a lot of reason why this is a brilliant passage not the smallest of which is the the use of the odd name “Loquacious ” that a smaller sin, “talkativeness” which seems a turning away –the realization of the real deeply sinister and pathological nature of the persona. Excellent, and powerful indictment of those who are in a position of power and use that power to hurt the most vulnerable among us. Best Rachel

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-11-14 20:38:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.12500
Leo, the repeated lines of your poem really help to convey the urgency and the despair. I also like the contrast between how these two men ended up. Sometimes we as a society get it all wrong. Your poem is powerful and elegant. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-11-14 15:26:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Leo: Great to find one of your rare offerings on my list and what an offering it is! A powerful, evocative poem with the theme of child molestation by priests, a very difficult subject but you delivered it masterfully. I like the title taken from the doomed protaganist and I like the structure of tercets and couplets with end rhymes. This piece hits hard, perhaps because I was raised Catholic and personally acquainted with one molesting priest who is spending his life in prison. "Forsaken, ravaged children, Forsaken, ravaged children." Powerful opening and the reiteration is effective. "Gerald O'Reilly fondles himself as he lies in the dark on his bed, gun to his head, flickering candles, silently dancing on crosses affixed to the walls, the hammer falls." A suicide by an Irish man, lying in the dark with flickering tapers highlighting the crosses on the walls. At first, the "fondles himself" threw me but as I digested what had occurred to him, it feels appropriate. "Gun to his head" and "the hammer falls" pack a punch I rarely see in poetry. Well done. You make efficacious use of the F sound in these two stanzas; I think Brenda calls it fricative. "Forsaken, ravaged children, someone must take the blame. Forsaken, ravaged children, to rescue no one came." This semi-repetition of your opening works well here and you add the words of tragedy: someone to blame, no rescue came. Very, very sad and a travesty. "Father Loquacious, teaching young Arthur the joys of pure fatherly love, in the vestry above, touching young Arthur in ways he touched Gerald those days not so long ago, no one will know." Clever name for the priest..it made me think of Father Lubricious but that is too obvious. Very effective way you segue to the priest's current activity and how it relates back to Gerald. And Father Loquacious still has not been stopped! I would delete the next couplet to make the ending harder hitting. (Good grief, how could it be more gut-wrenching?) However, I still think the couplet should go. "Gerald O'Reilly, denied last communion and placed in unholy ground, no salvation found, Father Loquacious, saved by the silence of lives he profoundly changed: dead or deranged." Ah, the old ruling about suicide victims unworthy to be interred in sanctified ground while Father's lust runs rampant with no one brave (at that age!) to bring him to account. Ironic but tragic. I haven't been commenting much on your poetics as the theme is overwhelming but you make good use of ground/found/profoundly. I marked on my printed copy all the instances of assonance (considerable) but haven't mentioned same. "Forsaken, ravaged children, someone must take the blame. Forsaken, ravaged children, to rescue no one came. See the forsaken, ravaged children. See the forsaken, ravaged children." The ineluctable ending, the reiteration effective and plaintive. Sad, sad! You have done a truly outstanding job with a subject that needs to be heard, continually splashed across the headlines, and you give us the tragic suicide of one of the victims to bring the point home. The stanzas about the children tear at my heart and soul with the awful fact that this is reality. I will not forget this poem any time soon and I give your poem a ***** rating. It deserves high marks and from me...Bravo! Best, Mell Morris

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