This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-01-10 00:27:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Apostrophe: Enos at the Bacchanalia in Cozumel

O Freedom – That unfettered-ness: By what measurement do we hold thee most dear?   Those tender inches of wealthy endowment, a pair of capital letters, the broad shading –  When the moist clamshell’s disclosed, tight and wet inside, the oyster soft its – Did quicken the pulse with a thrum, violate a rule of physics or two, qualify the quantifiable quirks? When leap twinnings in a tall bound: Do we rip off the string (of an aria in G)? Re-ice the altar boy? Re-scale the slide rule? No. We strip the metaphor down to her most un-subtle bare maxima, minima, respectfully applaud the obvious winna’ - raise the flag up the pole and quickly. What Patriots.  

Copyright © January 2004 Thomas Edward Wright


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-06 17:49:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61111
Superbly done my friend......nice structure, choice of words could not bring forth more then we saw.......images indeed keep popping up as one reads on and indeed what Patriots? Well, it was a superb game as well no matter what side you might have been for....... We strip the metaphor down to her most un-subtle bare maxima, minima, respectfully applaud the obvious winna’ - raise the flag up the pole and quickly. What Patriots. the above closing stanza indeed says it all.......thanks for posting and being such a grand part of this link. Be safe and God Bless, Claire thanks for sharing your occupation with me and though I have been in surgery only once please know that I know how very important you are there by one's side especially during open heart surgery in which I was put on a machine for nine hours while I received a new aortic valve along with a triple by pass.......the Lord knows who to bless with such professions and gifts of poetry besides.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-20 16:59:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
This poem struck me in two rather opposite ways- maybe it's about patriotism and the distortion that is now patriotism- but then it's maybe about women and is sexy in it's way. These two topics are quite at odds with each other here, but unless I am WAY off, I think that's it. Crazy and unexpected and for that I thank you. I had to digest it a bit in order to make it fit into my mind. I like poems that make you really think, or even upset you a bit- not too much though. I like the different emotional signals I got from this poem- at once lewd, or alluding to lewd- and then scientific and political all at once. Super good. One of my personal favorites. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-01-14 11:02:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ho, Having been mentioned by the "literati"? You is the literati. There is something here referrencing the current scene. I shall hazard and stick my head out of my cave, now that there's a banner to rally under. Or look at. I hope the team is wearing red. I like red. Nox
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-14 04:37:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You have the special quirk in this, Tom! This is profound and almost beyond my comprehension! You gave me an assignment (but not head-cracking!) here. I got who's Enos! The son of Seth, and grandson of Adam (Gen. 5:6-11; Luke 3:38). He lived nine hundred and five years. In his time "men began to call upon the name of the Lord" (Gen. 4:26). There is spiritual enrichment here! Sexual aspect is also disclosed with: "Those tender inches of wealthy endowment, a pair of capital letters" The language is very exotic! And the more it is so in this input: "When the moist clamshell’s disclosed, tight and wet inside, the oyster soft its" You should be SOMEONE out there! And I gave especial mention to your this QUANTUM idea here: "Did quicken the pulse with a thrum, violate a rule of physics or two, qualify the quantifiable quirks?" ----Oh, I love Physics! I graduated BS Physics anyway! You unravel my interest to my almost abandoned field! hehe! Alright, Tom! Cheers, in a Bacchanalia!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-01-12 16:05:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Tom: I looked up "Enos" and found it to be the Fourth book in the Book of Mormon. "Enos, the son of Jacob, briefly records his testimony and conversion experience, along with prophetic promises made personally to him by the Lord." LDS FAQ, BYU website. In this "apostrophe" the writer (Enos?) addresses a missing or rhetorical persona. I found the reference to Cozumel fascinating, and uncovered the following informtaion: Ancient Mayans considered the island as the home of Ixchel, goddess of love and fertility; future wives made a pilgrimage from the mainland at least once. Today, Cozumel has become a dream destination for nature lovers, as is this writer. I noted that the first letter of each capitalized word before "Cozumel" read backwards spells "BEAT." I am onto something! Or *on* something - stronger than coffee?? (http://viva-cozumel.com) Looking at the poem from another angle, it could be an anti-war statement, with the words "Freedom" and "Patriots" featured prominently. However, there are terms which could symbolize a sexual emphasis, such as "tender inches of wealthy endowment" and "tight and wet inside." References to "altar boy" and "maxima, minima" may reference a politico-sexual-religious theme that is a bit beyond this reader's current grasp. It's beyond me, but fascinating. I am intrigued and anticipating what others will see in this Rorschach-like work. The last two words could be read in a variety of ways, with different emphases: "WHAT, Patriots?" or "What PATRIOTS!" or "WHAT! Patriots?" Or "What 'patriots'?" Curious, LeJoanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-11 16:30:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
My My Tom, that is some title, or for that matter, poem. It reminds me of an old Star Trek episode. The beast at Tenagra or something like that.*smile* It's obvious you have a gift. Anyone who can write with this expertise about a football team (who just happened to beat the Titans 17-14 that day)and in such a way that no one could be sure that is what you're writing about, has my respect. New England Patriots-The Champions of the world? yeah yeah yeah respectfully applaud the obvious winner Love the "Q" allits. Blessings, jj
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-01-10 17:04:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
T.: My erudite, recondite friend, this poem is reminiscent of "Border Clash" for me in that I want to analyze it accordingly and therein would make the bleak misinterpretation that I did with the former. Take the title. (Please). Are you delivering this address to the son of Seth or to all mankind? The latter, I assume. Your opening line reads as most of yours do: wondrous and curious because the reader wants to kinow where this salute to freedom will lead. Those F sounds are terrific, bringing to mind Olde English. Yeffir. The most intriguing stanza: "When the moist clamshell's disclosed, tight and wet inside, the oyster soft its--" followed by: "Did quicken the pulse with a thrum, ...love the word 'thrum'.... violate a rule of physics or two, qualify the quantifiable quirks?" I haven't seen such allits since I-can't-remember. All of this data tells me there is a slam-bang party going on in Mexico with Enos ensconced then edging his way to where the g-string once resided. Slurping sweet oysters. Then I course ahead to find metaphor stripping happening but the winner's being applauded, flag rallying, and the dreaded end word: "Patriots." Ergo, I assume this orgy which I was greatly enjoying has something to do with football because I kinow one of the pro teams bears that appellation. So here I am, thrumming and thinking about when the next bacchanalia may be slated, and T. is once more doing sports-talk. And brilliantly. I greatly enjoyed your poem which has fuddled me this sunny Saturday but perhaps I am getting closer to your import. (That would be scary). Kudos and bravo! Best wishes, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-01-10 11:51:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
What a pretty story with lots of succulent innuendo of baccananlian abandon i.e. When the moist clamshell’s disclosed, tight and wet inside, the oyster soft its hmmmm We strip the metaphor down to her most un-subtle bare maxima, minima, Oh, Thomas you spartan spartan master of languid language. I applaud you and award you a green laurel ripe from the academy, but tell me this isn't about football--tell me this is a pretty fable about orgies.
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