This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2004-01-25 14:45:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Reader

Sitting under the moss-covered tree the shade  shields her eyes from any glare as she peruses intently each line absorbing the emotions felt at the turn of each page flickers of perception etched on her face pausing she looks out into nothingness is it a poem by Keats or cummings or just another love story gone wrong

Copyright © January 2004 Debbie L Fischer

Additional Notes:
This poem was inspired by a painting by Monet (the Reader) that adorns the room I write in.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-02 21:45:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
Dear Debbie, I know the painting you are talking about and it is beautiful. Your words in this poem do it justice as they paint a remarkable word picture. I really don't have anything that I would change in any way. It is beautiful in it's own right. It leaves me with a nice soothing relaxing picture to end my night and go to sleep with it in my minds eye. Thanks! Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-02-01 01:01:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61538
Hi Debbie, It’s nice to see a new poem from you Debbie! This is a wonderful picturesque of words. From the intro stanza: “Sitting under the moss-covered tree the shade shields her eyes from any glare as she peruses intently each line” --- This is such a heart-warming images. “Moss-covered tree” and “shade” - you have captured the serenity and soft ambiance of that moment. “absorbing the emotions felt at the turn of each page flickers of perception etched on her face pausing” --- I like the “pausing” part here. It emphasized the depth of such contemplating experience. “she looks out into nothingness is it a poem by Keats or cummings or just another love story gone wrong” --- The ironic ending of this piece just made this entry more interesting. What an unexpected surprise. You have set the climax “love story gone wrong”, with great impact and curiosity to readers. Well done! “This poem was inspired by a painting by Monet (the Reader) that adorns the room I write in.” --- What a wonderful source of inspiration. You have given justice to that magnificent painting and tell an appealing observation and interpretation. Now, I know why you hang this piece in your haven of poetries. Thanks for posting this for our enjoyment! Keep them coming Debbie! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-01-31 22:26:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91304
Hi Debbie: I needed this poem tonight! It is filled with what is difficult to obtain on this cold January night - warmth! Your descriptors are so luscious that I could not help but yearn for the warmer months, remembering the pleasures of reading outdoors. This is as sensuous as a hot bath, and the sounds in it are delightfully soft, too. I love this painting by Monet, with the serene face and soft peaches and pinks of the young woman contrasted to the mossy green background. Sitting under the moss-covered tree the shade shields her eyes from any glare as she peruses intently each line For example, the sibilant 's' and 'sh' sounds in "sitting/shade/shields" and also "moss/peruses" - wonderful imagery. absorbing the emotions felt at the turn of each page flickers of perception etched on her face pausing Aptly soft fricatives in "felt/flicker/face." Your poems are always beautifully crafted - and this one is no exception. she looks out into nothingness is it a poem by Keats or cummings or just another love story gone wrong Here you allow the reader to supply a favorite poem or genre - and end the work with a romantic, melancholy note. I wonder if you decide to revise at a future time if you might work the painting into the body of the poem itself? I imagined the young woman reading a book by Marie Corelli as I read your poem. Thank you for a nuturing reading experience and the chance to comment! Best wishes for the January contest! All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-27 08:56:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Hi Debbie, I often want to just plant myself inside a Monet painting to meditate and enjoy the scenery. A few yeays back, I wrote a poem called "Walking into a Monet Painting". This is lovely, once again proving poetry doesn't have to rhyme. *wink* My son-in-law thinks it does. The alliteration in s1 with "shade shields" produces a whispering effect that couples well with the use of a Monet painting, whose soft brush strokes create a comforting effect for this art enthusiast/reader. The imagry and setting of the scene you start with is very pleasant as well, with moss-covered trees creating shade and a good book. What more could a person want! You use assonance with gone/wrong. This is a very enjoyable read. Thanks for allowing us to share a relaxing and inspiring mood. I would capitalize Cummings, but that's an insignificant typo. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-01-26 20:33:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
One of the better ones I've read in the past few days here at TPL. it works because you don't try to get too hyper, too busy, too flowery, too exagerated. it is simple in its construction, but the ending goes straight to the heart, where a simple poem must go to be successful. thnx for this. tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-25 17:43:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
lovely read my dear poet, nicely structure, great word flow, images certainly take hold as one reads on..... you can actually see the reader you describe so lovingly within the lines. Thank you for posting and sharing this with safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-25 15:19:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.12000
I like this poem. I will show it to my wife, who is very inspired emotionally by the connection as you describe it. It's nice to try on the mind of another for a while, and letting words wash over you in a different skin is a great way to do that. She is the same way about paintings and sculpture. She has a real connection to that. I don't fully understand the connection visually, as I connect more in this medium...but to each his own. Her favorites are the impressionists as well. The poem also illustrates nicely the third person who is the central figure in all art in my opinion- the imagined reader/seer. This not the actual person writing, nor the person reading or seeing the work, but the person who the work was really created for. My wife often says she wishes I could communicate this way vocally, as I do in poems. This poem is a reminder of this. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-25 15:02:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.94737
Hi Deb; From the beginning of this poem I was taken in by the imagery you painted. The cool shade and the refuge provided while she intently reads...wonderful. I am guessing that it must be a poetry book, because I don't like to think of lost loves, only new found your poem. TY for writing this descriptive and interesting work. Mick:)
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