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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-10 23:21:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Growing Appetite for Spring

Common caterpillars, browsers of green like moose, will wear no antlers but change into butterfly robes. Wilson’s warblers, tiny flying grizzlies of willow thickets, will catch more unwary winged insects. Spruce seed powered squirrels will spill middens thick with spent cones, to autograph their feeding scene. Red-backed voles avoiding owls, will tunnel under snow-- to forage on berries and carrion. And the porcupine’s taste for leaves, buds, twigs, ax handles and canoe paddles salted by the sweat of human hands will grow. The coldest tundra savors new life; like us, thriving under winter wraps.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-03-07 13:12:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70833
I keep crahing - but i needed to stop to tell you how much i love this piece Common caterpillars, browsers of green like moose, will wear no antlers but change into butterfly robes. wonderuful comparison - the mightiest and clumisit, and and smallest and most delicate of creatures - twhat a rich imagiantion you have l Wilson’s warblers, tiny flying grizzlies of willow thickets, will catch more unwary winged insects. great griz...wizz here and thumpting th sounds here ;} that's what i will call you ]Griss-wizz Spruce seed powered squirrels [powdxered squirlles? not sure about that image] will spill middens thick with spent cones, to autograph [great verb] their feeding scene. Red-backed voles avoiding owls, will tunnel under snow-- to forage on berries and carrion. loevely And the porcupine’s taste for leaves, buds, twigs, ax handles and canoe paddles salted by the sweat of human hands will grow. and grow and grow - in our imagination thanls to you -- wonderful The coldest tundra savors new life; like us, thriving under winter wraps. Why didn;t I have this to read when i was a child in Winnipeg? IT would have given me hope! love this Joanne ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Click Here to SKIP Critiquing this Poem! Please Critique the above poem in this box. Give an Accurate and Helpful Critique by being as detailed as possible. The more accurate and clear you are with your critique, the more helpful you will be to the poet.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-03-07 02:16:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86486
Auntie Joanne, I have critiqued this one why is it appearing again to my list? I wonder why? Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-02-28 20:14:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Joanne, I love this it is so specific and also has such great commentary on the human as well as animal condition. I might suggest changing the ending a bit make it almost haiku like The coldest tundra savors new life; thriving under winter wraps. like us isn't neccessary the reader will make the comparison anyway-or at least that is how I think they would respond and it makes the poem end a little stronger. This poem is wonderful. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-02-28 03:54:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
Hi Joanne, This is another treat of beauty! I’ll never get tired reading your masterpieces and be inspired. This is the true value / nature of your work…to inspire, to arouse and to appreciate nature in fullest. You definitely met that goal. As a constant reader of your work, I can attest with these. I can attest my satisfaction. I noticed that this poem expands the subjects and focuses to their unique individual beauty. From “caterpillar” to “warblers”, to “squirrels” to “voles” and to “porcupines” - these are befitting yet all enjoyable! I am entertained by reading each stanza and blessed by its rich “nature” “The coldest tundra savors new life; like us, thriving under winter wraps.” --- No doubt, this wraps the poem perfectly. Suiting source of your yet another wonderful / brilliant title. You have perfected it already for us to enjoy. Super thanks! Again, another display of your creativeness and perfection. You never disappoint! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-02-27 16:53:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Oh Yea! you really caught and played off the essence of many life forms in this poem, each quatrain speaks of something familar with another, yet each quatrain wraps up winter, and lands us into mesmerizing a warmer, more visual beauty, other then the stark whie, and reminder of the cold of winter. Honestly Joanne, you don't leave much room that warrants a critique, your poems just ask for input on the cause and effect each reminder you write of, affects our senses, our emotion, and allows each reader to wander in all you provide in your poetry. Having been here for three years I know of your growth as a writer, and I marvel that you maintain such outstanding ability. I won't stop reading, just don't stop writing, maybe some of us need these poems to anchor us down, yet allow us flight, maybe fantasy that borders on the reality, I don't know, and I'm not learnerd enough to state with absolute understanding of the language, all I can do, is tell you how your poetry affects me personally, and put me at peace, and makes each day a little easier to get through. So much talent, deserves more then my meager words bestow on it, just don't enough stop writing...Wonderful, now which poem should I vote for, they have all been excellent....Love ya, take care always, Jo Mo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-26 20:14:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.32143
Ah, the visions come alive! Beautiful visions they are, too. Well done, Joanne. Much consonance and alliteration used very well, close rhyming but not abused. I wonder a little about the form and line count alterations in some stanzas. Other than that, I can only say that I enjoyed the many truths of nature in this nice poem. Not at all pastoral or otherwise boring. It moves well and was a very easy read. Looking forward to more.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-22 15:34:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Dear Joanne, I love your descriptions of the place where you live, and see it through your eyes. I too am longing for spring, tho this winter has not been near as bad for me as the past few have been. I feel healthier, and happier, with optimism for my writing that I have never felt before. The dark days have not depressed me, and I was just realizing just today, that the worst is behind me and I am still feeling good! That is so remarkable for me as I suffer horribly from SAD. Your flowing pictures do give me signs and hope for spring. I am looking out my window now and still see stark branches, with not even a hint of green on them, but the snow has melted from the ground! I have been watching my flower beds for signs of life, of course nothing yet. My old hen and chickens that I potted in the fall didn't make it for sure, still waiting on the rest to green up! I was going to pick out one or two stanzas that I enjoyed the most, but since I enjoyed them all, I couldn't do that. I love all the wonderful alliteration that you have, I think I am a fan of the ssss sounds, as they seem to soothe the spirit and seem so serene! I do love the last stanza, the tundra coldest tundra, which in my mind, can also be the coldest and dreariest of moods and days, will soon savor new life. How awesome! Just like me I am still thriving under winter wraps, but cannot wait to throw them off and bask in the sunshine! I am retiring to some place that is sunny and near the ocean, both things that my spirit craves! From your fan, Sherri S

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-14 04:05:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.10000
Joanne--I couldn't agree more with the speakers title: here in Arizona this past week the temperature hasn't risen above 70 degrees-smile. Another nature ditty that indicates the speaker is well versed in outdoor creatures habits and enjoys interacting with them all. Allits in all stanzas with the exception of #4, conversely, stanzas #2 and #3 are literally tongue twisters (try saying/reading either/both three times moderately fast-haha). Vivid descriptors creates nice imagery of welcomed transition for the highly anticipated warming season by both man and animal. Thanks for sharing this informative "warm" nature piece with your fellow TPLers. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-02-13 11:18:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
What a wonderful and colorful summation of the season, as we here on the west coast come out of our cold winter, we are reminded of those who live a bit closer to real winters with snow. I like each individual stanza by itself as a short form poem. It's like a group of those set together to form a theme. This reminded me of a cabin up in the mountains in Colorado I used to go to. Creatures of all types, including bears often availed themselves of some part of that house- whether we were there or not. It's also funny- whether a mild smile or a chuckle or a laugh out loud; is found here. The funniest of these is the porcupine stanza. Super well done. I can see why you so often win these poetry competitions. Your poems are dense and well done, rife with imagery and a mild yet persistent wit. Super good poem, one of my favorites here on TPL ever. Thanks, REEG!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-12 12:30:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Poet: How lovely.....we all long for spring after such a cold winter here in New England......we escaped without much snow but come spring thaw we will be hurting in that our rivers and streams will not be filling as they should......the sun has been shinning these past few days warming the atmosphere and causing some of the snow and icicles to melt from the roof tops....Structured well your word flow brings forth the feelings, emotions and images involved with the coming of Spring...a time of new life, new beginnings, new growth and new hope....I loved this comparison of something so tiny and small as the caterpillars to the moose and the term.....butterfly robes is superbly done......Wilson's warblers, tiny flying grizzlies of willow thickets..living in a different part of the world I have not seen any of these little birds yet you bring them to life to this reader who has enjoyed watching them flutter about swallowing insects.... Spruce seed powered squirrles.......red-backed voles avoiding owls...................we do have owls here in the woods of Tully but I have never heard of the red-backed voles......too bad pictures are never included to actually see the beauty that surrounds your area compared to ours.....we have many small tunneling animals here though and perhaps they might be somehow related to them..... over and over you have outdone yourself my friend with the images contained within your lines... I have a beaver living across from the house and what started out as a lovely bubbling brook has turned into a pond more then large enough to fish out of, skate on in winter time and swim in summer.....the beaver has been busy fixing his twigs here and there and the beaver dam can be seen from the house it stands that tall. Is it not amazing how one little buy can do this when it takes so many humans to build a dam with blue prints and all...hehehe..... This one is a winner my friend and hopefully with God's grace will be shared by many who stop by and read. Be safe, thank you for posting and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-02-11 15:43:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Joanne, You have written yet another gem! I too long for spring...it is so cold here with and snow so we must be reminded that spring will come and this poem has done that for me. Not only do I yearn for the concept of spring while in this deep freeze you have used some exceptional verbage to describe it's coming. Common caterpillars browsers of green like moose.....I loved this comparison of something so small but just but just as voracious. Wilson's warblers, tiny flying grizzlies of willow thickets....I have never see these little birds but with the help of your poetic imagery I can easily see them flitting about to swallow insects. Spruce seed powered squirrles.......I laughed when I read this line and then it gets even better with. will spill middens thick with spent cones to autograph their feeding scene.....not a soul will mistake the leavings of a well seeded squirrle.....so clever..your talent is showing! red-backed voles avoiding owls...................we do have owls but I don't think I know what a vole is but they must be a small animal because they tunnel and the prcupine's taste for leaves, bud, twigs, ax handles and canoe paddles.....I laughed out loud at this one as I have seen many a beaver dam and anything that is wood had better look out salted by the seat of human hands...will grow the last stanza is so perfect for this entire piece...coldest tundra..new life..like us thriving under winter wraps.....these are lovely words of hope to all the depressed people that stand at their windows and wish for spring. I have a feeling you will be at the top of the winners list again! Blessings...Marlyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-02-11 13:48:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hey- I thought the piece would end with "will grow." and was surprised to see the final four as I scrolled down to wright this section of my life into yours. But of course the piece needs them and I was premature in sending it to the back of the wood shed where Scheffer's lie. I am installing gas so will no longer be using a large amount of paper and wood. I suspect that is good. In this relativistic world, who knows? tom

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