This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-06-19 07:43:54 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Nostalgia Wandering over the rolling hills of my past,
wistfully I remember my life.
Pain tempered with love
left healed scars that remind me
of growing older.
Like knotholes these wounds
live on in a new way
while the tree’s tallest limbs
reach ever higher.
I think of these times now with
fondness and understanding.
A kind man might call this notion
wisdom.
In the end most of the angst doesn’t matter.
Death’s hand touches everyone.
See the struggling salmon
swim upstream to fulfill themselves,
and hear the waves crash on the rocks,
and you will know.
The shadows of my youth
now are illuminated by
the burn of age.
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Copyright © June 2004 Edwin John Krizek
Additional Notes:
This poem goes with my other poem, "Shadows of Youth".
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-07-03 11:34:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Edwin,
I'm trying to respnd to a wider variety of poets this month. This particular one of yours
caught my eye and I enjoyed it.
The image of a man as a tree reaching up toward the sky is a rewarding metaphor.
And I love the reference to knotholes as the scars of lifes lessons. The perspective
of being older and looking back over your life is one that many (yes,including me) can
relate with.
The feel of this poem is so familiar and touchable like a pair of worn
out slippers. And please don't take that as an insult because your language and descriptors
are fresh and alive. I also enjoyed the reference to salmon swimming upstream.
The title fits and the poem flows well and has excellent imagry.
Thanks for posting this.
Blessings,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2004-06-21 18:37:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Edwin,
I like this poem! The read could benefit most by providing some spacing, so that the reader can
savor each line, without tumbling into the next thought/image.
Wandering over the rolling hills of my past,
wistfully I remember my life.
Pain tempered with love(,)
left healed scars that remind me
of growing older.
Like knotholes(,) these wounds
live on in a new way(,)
while the tree’s tallest limbs
reach ever higher.
I think of these times now with
fondness and understanding.
A kind man might call this notion
wisdom.
In the end most of the angst doesn’t matter.
Death’s hand touches everyone. (everything?)
See the struggling salmon
swim upstream to fulfill themselves,
and hear the waves crash on the rocks,
and you will know. (...)
The shadows of my youth
now are illuminated by
the burn of age.
A lovely poem.
Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-06-21 18:08:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73333
Hi Ed,
You have clearly defined the exercise of 'looking back'...something none of us
can help but do....'wandering over the rolling hills of my past'...this beginning line
hooked me right away and I could not wait to read on...'pain tempered with love left
healed scars'...I can certainly relate to this statement. Love does have a way of
causing pain but in the end love usually wins out. I like the way you refer to the
reaching trees and struggling salmon and compare those times to 'wisdom'...it is, you
know...I wonder at what point in our lives we realize that? ...'Death's hand touches
everyone'....I like the idea of death having a hand to gently touch us when it is time
for us to go...but sadly not everyone goes with just a gentle tap. I work in the medical
profession and I know some people meet the angel of death kicking and screaming, refusing
to recognize that their time has come. Your last stanza is the most profound, to me...
'the shadows of my youth now are illuminated by the burn of age'...wonderful line in a
rather sad but very true piece. Well done!
Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-06-20 02:34:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Edwin,
Yes, this goes with your poem "Shadows of Youth" which I have critiqued already.
But this is more on deep in which causes the readers, at least to me, to ponder
on their own experience. The poem is aptly titled. Reminiscing the youthful
activities is like feeling homesickness. You applied new language formulation like
"rolling hills of my past" "Death’s hand touches everyone." , and more figurative
languages including the simile and metaphor. Other remarkable feature is the concreteness
of the images. You applied a good visual here. I have nothing to change here, this is outstanding.
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-06-19 10:57:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Edwin I especially like the image of the knot hole like wounds in a tree that still appears healthy and the salmon who are already dying as they struggle up the creek to spawn-I used to live on the salmon river in upstate new york and would go to watch the salmon runs.
You do a great job in this poem of encasing death with life and also communicating that all living things are dying. I like this. Sandra
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