This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-07-09 01:06:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Den of the Wolf - Lair of the Fox 1967

Gin and seven with a twist of lime music and dancin’ loses track of time eighteen and hot to trot - beautiful  horses and wild, wild, women is what Kentucky’s got. No one could  tell her she was playin' with fire, drinkin’ and dancin’ was her only desire. Little did she know what she was gonna lose, it happened so fast,there was no  time to choose. Innocent enough it was  at the start the booze made it easy, to go pretty far,  but “No” didn’t stop him nor did a shove, he was damned determined they were gonna make love. His body was heavy, she couldn’t get out,from underneath, his torrent of kisses, the hot taste of his mouth, his touch on girlish skin woke the jungle drumming rhythm coursed through her blood, a release she had never known, let her give in; put out  as he pinioned her  arms  over  her   head. After the session, he laughed when she beat her fists on the wall and cried tears of gin that she was indeed a virgin;  “what had he done to her?” His reply was still laughing "Nothing you didn't want baby." He said that she had lied. No one could move like she did and not know the score; not even a dancer, then he told her to shower before the blood hit the floor. In white linen dress, she stood in the tub watching cold water rivlets rinse the semen and virginal blood down her  silk  stockin’ legs and she knew  in her mind, she was no better now than if she’d been a whore. She’d been told long hundreds of times what virginity and that hymen were worth and she cried tears of remorse at her bloody, gin soaked reward.  It was her fault, she’d damn well been told, he was an incredible wolf in stylish sheep’s clothes. The date had ended,  there’d be no more games, this one situation had changed her life and self worth forever, she would never be the same.  How could she live with such a soul stained from knowledge so un-carnally gained?

Copyright © July 2004 Jana Buck Hanks

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-07-31 15:38:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.29412
Hi Jana, Outside of the fact that this piece is very well written and the rhyme is musical, it carries a message that cannot be denied. As I read the words my heart frelt sad for this girl...she got caught up in an adult game before she was ready. She could not deny her body and the urges that lurked there and in a moment of passion she let herself enjoy the act and viewed herself with loathing afterh it was over. This poem reveals your talent for story telling and to do it in perfect rhyme is quite a feat. In todays world there are far less virgin brides and the odd part to me is that no one seems to care....but in the case of your girl she did care. I sincerely hope, if this is a true story, that she can forgive herself and realize that she is not a bad person. I really enjoyed reading this story...and have done so several times! Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-07-24 22:29:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
This poem had a rhythm that one could almost rap to, but then lost that rhythm about half way down. There is one typo "rivlets" s/b rivulets. Okay. Interesting story of a Macho Man, an uncaring man who took advantage of a young girl who was probably not in her element.No matter what, it's still called rape. This is a very touching story that unfortunately is still carried on today. When I hear stories like this it makes me feel ashamed that I am a man! Great title.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-07-12 20:55:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Jana: I'm sorry I didn't respond to this one sooner. As a former counselor, one who also worked with rape victims, I was struck by this poem. It's difficult to objectively critique it 'as a poem' but I want to respond to it as it touches my own emotions. Simply put, it is this: When a woman says "No" and the man forces her - it is rape. No matter how she dances, looks, how her body has responded (as bodies always will) to physical touch. *********Innocent enough it was at the start the booze made it easy, to go pretty far, but “No” didn’t stop him nor did a shove, he was damned determined they were gonna make love. It's not "making love" as you clearly show us throughout. I am tempted to rant at this point, but it would do no good. You've made the point and made it well. With rhythm and style, and the intensity which I've always appreciated about your work, you show that the forcing of sexual relations upon another human being is wrongful and harmful. The problems that result often last for a lifetime. And this sadistic brute laughed, which infuriates me: After the session, he laughed when she beat her fists on the wall and cried tears of gin that she was indeed a virgin; “what had he done to her?” His reply was still laughing "Nothing you didn't want baby." It's not too late to give him the lambasting he deserves, at least in poetic form. I would like to see another poem which addresses the matter from the standpoint of someone who has done what he did, but through some event in his own life, perhaps something happening to a daughter or niece or grandchild, that he was not only wrong, but dead wrong. I want to see him feel the remorse that is due for taking someone's rights to a decision away from them - and if possible, at least some form of restitution. But that's me. You, as a poet, have done your job. You've made me feel something, and remember the faces and lives of women and children (some very young) which were altered by actions like those of the man in this poem. He said that she had lied. No one could move like she did and not know the score; not even a dancer, then he told her to shower before the blood hit the floor. In white linen dress, she stood in the tub watching cold water rivlets rinse the semen and virginal blood down her ---very hard to read, but essential silk stockin’ legs and she knew in her mind, she was no better now than if she’d been a whore. --her conclusion inaccurate, but near universal! She’d been told long hundreds of times what virginity and that hymen were worth and she cried tears of remorse at her bloody, --it is not she would should feel the remorse! gin soaked reward. It was her fault, she’d damn well been told, he was an incredible wolf in stylish sheep’s clothes. The date had ended, there’d be no more games, this one situation had changed her life and self worth forever, she would never be the same. How could she live with such a soul stained from knowledge so un-carnally gained? You show how survivors feel "stained" by what has happened, and how difficult it is to get past the feeling that their very soul is torn. I've worked with both males and females who were raped, and the feelings are similar (though the responses very different). There's something I said to a woman who had a similar experience as the woman in this poem: "No one, but no one, can take your purity from you." This is a very difficult poem to read, which is likely the reason that there have not been many responses yet. For those who've experienced this, in one form or another, it might hit too close to home. I think it is an important poem, and I am honored to have opportunity to comment. Well done! All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-07-11 03:23:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
This is a hard one, for me at least, to review. I will do my best, because now that I’ve read it, I can’t pass it up without letting you know that I think you’ve done a great job. I’m impressed with your handling of this painfully emotional subject. I like the idea of using a third person perspective. Putting the year, 1967, in the title added a lot to this piece. Society was more constrictive and more prone to blame her. What help was there for her back then? I could go off on a rant, but I’m trying to stay objective. Perhaps I can’t be objective on this poem. I think my only suggestion, is that maybe the title should have a warning about this poem’s subject. I appreciated the form this poem took. The first two stanza’s rhymes made me feel light, exuberant, and young. I found the progressive deterioration of the structure that was established in the first two stanzas to be an artful demonstration of what this horrible act does to a person. I loved the religious connotations of this phrase, “un-carnally gained”. It reiterated the fact that this should have been, but wasn’t, a spiritual act. While at the same time this phrase reminded me of how some religions condemn the woman and say she was ‘asking for it’ by not being modest enough. The phrase, “incredible wolf in stylish sheep’s clothes”, gave me a powerful image. I could almost see him getting ready to fool everyone by dressing up. I keep erasing my closing paragraph. I want to rant and I want to scream. No matter how many years pass the memories never leave. The feelings we had then still hurt us now, while the villain is probably out there feeling nothing. I’ve seen Karma at work and I just have to hope that it keeps working. See there I go ranting again. I’m not sure how to end this, so I’ll just say I’m impressed. I couldn’t write about this and do a good job as you have done.
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