This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2004-09-08 09:49:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A thousand dead Americans  lying cold in the sand  reminding me of Vietnam these angry hostile lands caskets flagged so neatly in a war that can’t be won curious not one body bag contains a senator’s son that fact screams volumes- how important could it be weapons of mass destruction sounds like lies to me. War is plain iniquity insanity at it’s worst the liars out in Washington can’t quench their bloody thirst over-consumption, simple greed is what this war’s about once again we’re killing babies of that there is no doubt are we different from the nazis think hard about My Lai you think Iraq is different it’s going on today. A thousand dead Americans no ending yet in sight have innocent Iraqi’s died please tell me how that’s right are we prepared to fight forever shall we start the draft again will we lose a few more thousand  in a fight we cannot win ask of those who’ve sacrificed  a daughter, son or niece the cost is never worth it are you praying now for peace? Pray for peace my brothers  don’t listen to the lie that we can’t make a difference so we won’t even try such power in prayer my sisters  there is a power of one an unarmed praying Gandhi defeated men with guns around the world we send our ships chock full of bombs and men but we can’t send the starving rice God’s mad at us again! A thousand dead Americans shattered families in their wake no more deaths we’ve had enough please act for humanities sake a war of shady motives a war of endless greed they’ll never get my children to do their filthy deed I’ll fight no more forever instead I’ll pray for peace  accepting nothing less my friends than a warless world’s release

Copyright © September 2004 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-05 22:33:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hey Mark, I thought I had already critiqued this one. Perhaps I read it and never made it to the critique. Anyway, I LOVE THIS POEM, and I think that it should be read at some event for all the world to hear. You have accentuated on my feelings about the war in Iraq. I posted a haiku this month about the war being unjunst and unnecessary. Our leaders have truly failed us. I love every line of this poem, and it's even more genuine coming from you because you know the ins and outs of war and leadership. You know the lies that are covered up. I hate that we have lost 1,000 lives for nothing, and I say nothing because we need to be liberating our own people. God will take care of Iraq. I've always wondered how we could achieve such peace in foreign lands when we can't achieve it 100% at home. This is an awesome, powerful, true and identifying poem. Thank you for sharing it at TPL. I certainly enjoyed reading it. This is serious business. My husband just came back from Iraq, and you don't come back the same. I wish America would just stop and think about all of the young kids who are going over there and losing their lives for a war none of us can believe in or be proud of. It's sad, but if it's not your kid or your spouse or your niece or nephew, then you tend to not think about the irrationality of this war. Wake up America! Thanks Mark. Latorial

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-03 15:34:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78571
Hi Mark, WOW....the truth in the lines of this piece screams at me. My husband was in the Korean war....wounded twice but made it home safe...thank God. One of my grandsons joined the Navy before the war broke out and when it did I thought....I cannot do war again. He was sent to Iraq as his job was on a 3P Orian (I am sure I misspelled this but I am sure you know what I mean)...he was there a year and is now back stationed at the base in Washington state....another thank God for his safety. When he came home he did not think he would have to go back but now we are not so sure. As I read your poem...which is very well written) I felt like standing and shouting 'YES..I AM THINKING THE SAME THOUGHTS EVERY DAY' The question of why is this happening continually assaults me and I know I am not alone...I keep thinking surely this too will pass. But I fear it will not and more lives will be lost...both ours and theirs. Brady (my grandson) has a wife and two small children and the thought of him going into harms way again is physically painful to me....and the rest of the family. You should print this poem and send it to every newpaper across the land because it speaks the truth in a very compelling way and deserves to be read by many. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-09-29 18:29:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mark, an emphatic political statement. Here are a few suggestions for a polishing: insanity at it’s worst - [its] over-consumption - [no hyphen needed IMHO] have innocent Iraqi’s died - [no apostrophe needed; that makes it possessive] please act for humanities sake - [humanity's sake; possessive, not plural form] wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Patricia Gibson-Williams On Date: 2004-09-25 19:30:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
We all seem to have taken sides in a war that was not meant to be fought among ourselves. War is never pretty and the too often the innocent die… But more often many more of them die without intervention. I cannot say from here what is right or wrong, but thousands of Americans died right here in the USA and not retaliating against that horror would only have sent the message that we won’t defend ourselves. Until God sees fit to call us all to heaven, there will never be a world without war. Someone always wants to dictate how others will live and what they will have. Someone will always hate another based upon their beliefs. And someone will always use terror to try and control what they don’t believe in. It’s sad that any have to die, but I honestly believe that many more would have been lost here if we had not gone there. Not that I’m trying to convince you, I just wanted to let you know that although I found your poem had many strong points and had good rhyme and meter; it had too many statements that I disagreed to make a fair assessment of it’s over all impact upon me. But then again maybe my statement speaks as to that. This was very powerfully written and I hope you get better comments from other readers. ~ Patti ~
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-09-08 23:02:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Mark–Welcome! I can’t recall reviewing any of your work. At any rate, you’ve posted a rime, my favorite form. You’ve put together a dark graphic poem deriding war(s), past and present. The piece is quite vehement with raw emotions (“once again we’re killing babies ;“are we different from the Nazis?” an unarmed praying Gandhi defeated men with guns”; “...our ships chock full of bombs and men but we can’t send the starving rice”; “God’s mad at us again!”; “the liars and out in Washington can’t quench their bloody thirst...”;). Most reader(s) probably agreed with your assessment(s) which leaves a lasting impression on this reader: “War is plain iniquity insanity at it’s worst” and “a war of shady motives a war of endless greed.” The repeat of the title in stanzas #1, 3 and 5 serves to reemphasize how adamant the speaker is about the useless carnage of war and is further enhanced by; “ask of those who’ve sacrificed a daughter, son or niece the cost is never worth it...”. The piece directly censure and lambaste the current political leader(s). Once again the poet has chosen to step forward to be the “conscious of a nation.” A plethora of descriptors and able end rimes more than aptly indicate dogma of speaker/writer/ protagonist. Sorry if I misstated your intentions. Thanks for sharing your effort. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-08 14:43:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.60000
The first part is very vivid, I can see the bodies lying in the sand kind of like a field of corpses, I guess I might have tried for a metaphor along those lines, the line- insanity at it’s worst -seems to me as one thats been done to death, perhaps trying to give it a new twist would help. But you do present your theme with lots of force which is always a plus, Thanks for allowing me my two cents. Thanks for submitting and letting me comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-09-08 12:22:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Bravo Mark - yes - it is a horrible tragegy of enormous loss. All the deaths, American and Iraqi and the devastation - under the guise of fighting terror. Well written, powerful and so very sad. you might look over this line: I’ll fight no more forever and see if it could be be clearer, something like I'll never fight again or I'll be a pacifist forever The conclusion is heart felt and powerful accepting nothing less my friends than a warless world’s release
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