This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-09-18 01:34:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Copyright © September 2004 Mark Andrew Hislop
Mass of tears
Perhaps all hesitation is a blindness
Chosen when we dare not choose out way
Fearing that one tentative direction
Petrifies some course we must then stay.
Perhaps it is the beauty of a moment
We long to make eternal yet must leave
That gelds our destiny to make decisions,
Since every second choice is cause to grieve.
Perhaps we fear becoming our own heroes
For fear the world will look to us for strength
And guidance in its own dark hesitations
But find that our heroics lacked all length.
Perhaps we are the servants of our sorrow
Mere altar boys for tears our souls must cry
But thinking we must master all emotions
We dam those holy waters and deny.
Perhaps in all denial is our torment
Perhaps embracing all is our release
Perhaps in tears of love and tears of sorrow
Resides our Eucharist of truest peace.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-07 09:45:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80556
Mark this is wonderful. This poem reached in and touch some of my innermost thougts and intrapersonal issues. I like the tone that you have set, and I think it's great that readers can read this poem and really begin to apply what you have shared to our own lives.
I could certainly identify with each and every one of the situations that you reveal here. I have had these thoughts. These things live inside my head. Not only does your writing here reveal such great truths about the human soul and spirit, but it is so well created.
The style is attractive. The rhyme scheme is very tight, and it reads well from beginning to end. It's a true poem in every sense of the word, and it appears to have come naturally for you, the author.
I see all of the great themes embedded in this poem. There's morality, value, truth and spirituality ringing from each line. I thought I'd choose a favorite line or phrase, but I could not. The entire poem, each stanza is filled something of value, such truth for humanity.
I think that this is what poetry is all about, being able to testify and capture the essence of life in such an analytical way. It's a psychological healing for us to be able to both write and read such integrated works of poetry, such serious pieces that delve into the lives of others and our own lives.
Thank you for sharing this one at TPL. I truly enjoyed reading and soaking this one in. Excellent poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-10-03 14:30:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
I had to look up, Eucharist. After I did, I wanted to reread the poem to see if it was about being Christian. First though, I wanted to write my, non-Christian, impressions down for you, but it was too late. Now I see all the Christian clues. When I’d first saw the title, “Mass of Tears” I didn’t think of the Catholic Mass, I thought of a crying jag. Looking up that one word changed my perspective on the poem to the one you intended the reader to have. I’m sorry I didn’t write down my impressions before I looked up the word. I actually feel pretty silly for not seeing that this poem was about faith. I first saw it as a poem about faith in ourselves, but now I see that it is a poem about faith in Christ. This poem flowed really well and easily pulled me towards its conclusion. Thank you for sharing this poem. Thank you, also, for giving me one of those “Off kilter moments” where one’s perspective is exposed as being upside down.
Having each stanza start with the word “perhaps” triggered my teacher’s voice, “Repetition is generally bad in poetry”, but I liked it. I tried to picture each stanza of the poem starting with different words like: maybe, may haps, what if, could be, but then the poem lost its sense of ritual. Second line of the first stanza, was “out” supposed to be “our”?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-21 17:52:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Mark this is so touching to one's soul.......Being raised Catholic I know how important the Eucharist is and how the alter boys at such a young age would stand so proud next to the priest on Sunday morning at the eight o'clock mass.......tears of love and tears of sorrow.......my best friend was a priest and I loved that man dearly and I could not in my wildest imagination ever imagine him hurting children of any age.......he has since passed but not before he left the priesthood and married......life is a journey we travel on each in our own way.....thank you for posting this and sharing it with us.....I am sure it was not easy to write but the results are much needed to be shared. God Bless, Claire
Good structure, word flow and perhaps in line two 'out' should have been 'our'...just a thought on my part.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-09-20 03:03:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, here it is almost 3 in the am, and I'm in the fuckin' office writing a legal brief . . . even I deserve a bit of respite. You, my dear, are my respite.
Let's see. Wow, nice (in a manner of speaking) choice of verb in "gelds." Apropos (most like i gelded a vowel or consonant from that word) - or rather not, especially of late - the eucharist and the celibate sacrificer in Jesus' stead. Sometimes poems take vital strenghth (in terms of form) from their message, and the message in fact takes on a formal quality. This is one of those poems.
I like it that you are experimenting with the metrical.
If you understood that the paragraph before the penultimate, explain it to me. I wish I had a drink. I will greet the sunrise with open eyes and need of a shower and sleep. Thanks for the brief respite.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2004-09-20 02:31:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh wow. I love the message in this poem and the imagery is undoubtedly clear. What a struggle as a man to become vulnerable to all emotions and feelings and then to express them as beautifully as you have here. Unfortunately men in our society are taught to 'dam' the tears and be stoic to the outside world, yet at what expense? There is so much to life besides being 'strong' and without feeling. So much more and I think your writing here clearly shows this. Thank you for letting us read and share in your beautiful creation!
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-18 09:12:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.16216
In line two is out meant to be our, That seems right to me.
Other than that I think it hits its mark, of course since I'm chatholic the alter boys and Eucharist mentions stricks a special chord with me.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!