This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-09-30 21:34:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Verses 41 to 60 – Third Collection

“Rainbow” 41.  Spectrum of hope smiles         After plethora of tears       Falls from heaven’s cheeks “Pollination” 42.  Handsome Romeo        Courts prettiest Juliet       Romance fills the air “Destiny” 43.  We are what we are       Prodigy of our shadows       Path of our footprints “Cross” 44.  Emblem of my faith       A straight line towards Heaven       Against twisted world “Stream” 45.  Hidden rivulet       Midst the shoulders of mountains       Runs to open sea “Hyenas” 46.  Snatching cheetahs’ meal       Scavengers of savannah       Chuckle in laughter “Ava Jean” 47.  Your tears are your strength       Filling the cup of your faith       Let life spring from well “Worms” 48.  Handpicked by humans         Wedded to embracing hooks       Kissed by the fishes “Eclipse” 49.  Pirate of darkness       Ambushed the moment to steal       The jewel of light “Swallows” 50.  Periwinkle sky       As winged-surfers glide and dive       Through the waves of clouds “Belt” 51.  Slowly the serpent       Slides its body ‘round my waist       Holding loose pants up “Zephyr” 52.  The air diva sings         Resurrecting the dead leaves       That bury my feet “Ecstasy” 53.  Pleasure elevates       Up to the seventh heaven       Remains in cloud nine “Hammerhead Shark” 54.  Marine carpenter       Swiftly swims to school of fish       Fixing its belly “Moon” 55.  Queen of the great sun       Reigns over shining servants       Night is her kingdom “Lilac” 56.  Let the purple blow       Breath of fragrance in the air       Perfumes the garden “Photographs” 57.  Windows from the past         Captured that special moment       Forever to keep  “Rooster” 58.  Wings can’t reach the clouds       Just the roof where it can crow       The beauty of dawn “Lake” 59.  Mirror on the floor       Who is the fairest of all?       - My eyes see God’s face “Pillow” 60.  You cradle my thoughts       With your unsung lullabies       Pampering my dreams

Copyright © September 2004 Erzahl Leo M. Espino

Additional Notes:
This is my third twenty (20) verses collection. Without all your continuous support…this wouldn’t be possible. My wholehearted “thank you’s” goes to: JoMo, Claire, Sherri, Jennifer, Rachel, Marilyn, Wanda, Joanne U., Karen, Andrea, Turner, Jordan, Thomas W., Arnie, Wayne, James, Sandra, Mell, Brenda, Marcia, Lynda, Patricia, Gerard, Mick, Donald, Joshua, Mark S. and Rick – these are my mentors and friends. Special thanks for some grammar corrections and word revisions help from: - Wayne for “Rainbow” and “Lilac” - Thomas W. for “Swallows” - James for “Lilac” - Rachel for “Lilac” For other advises, pardon me for my stubbornness. :) P.S. - These are all my favorites but here’s my top 5: 1st. Rooster (58) 2nd. Moon (55) 3rd. Zephyr (52) 4th. Rainbow (41) 5th. Lake (59) Other verses that are special to me (I can’t help it!): - Photographs (57), Hyenas (46), Worms (48) - It would be very interesting to know what’s yours? Thanks! :) As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-07 23:42:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83721
hello there, my favorites are 43 and 44. my, i've been gone from the link too long. these are great erzahl. i love the link because we exposed to so many wonderful ideas here. i think that you have done a marvelous thing to collect your haiku in such a way. when i saw the title, i thought this is going to be something biblical. then when i read the actual piece, i thought -- he's formatting this like the bible. I think these are wondering. there are so many truisms in every word, and so many nice philosophical pieces on life. I think that you should give the entire collection a title other than the verses. these are exquisite, and they sit well as a collection. thanks for sharing these and for stirring up new writing ideas in me. keep on writing. latorial

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-04 14:45:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78571
Hi Erzahl, How in the world can a person choose a favorite of these beautiful and imaginative pieces? I love everyone of them and continue to be both awed and amazed at your talent. I certainly hope you will publish your collections for all to read. With much difficulty I choose the following as my favorites....rainbow, destiny, ava jean, worms, belt and lilacs. The humor you display in some of these verses is so clever and the others are very lovely, soft, and give this reader wonderful images. You have a God given gift...don't ever stop writing! Peace and blessings...Marilyn p.s. I haven't seen anything from Jordan for a long time....I hope he is O.K.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Donna Carter Soles On Date: 2004-10-03 23:47:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Erzahl, This is such a spendid compilation of work, but I think the splendor needed to be given equal opportunity, and should be addressed individually. These are haikus, and the Japanese believed/believe in saying much wisdom with very few words. I must admit that it can be difficult to concentrate (for me as a reader) to FOCUS on words of wisdom when there is SO much to consider at one time. These sort of pieces are small, but precious and have good reason to stand on their own (as one), if written properly. You seem to do well with this, and I admire your work. I've written some haikus, myself. I also find that some people do not like them, nor even attempt to write them. Oh, and I also noticed all of those notes below your writings. *smile* It seems you've been lucky and you got some GOOD mentors in this world. I'm sure there are many good mentors on this site, but Brenda is my personal favorite. She is a gifted all means. Thanks, Donna
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-10-02 00:53:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Okay here goes.. all of them rock! You really need a book out or a desk calander. My top five favorites of this batch are 51, 43, 49, 41, 42. Don't make me pick one of the five to be my all time fav, cause I can't. It was hard just picking five favs. Hugs Kay
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-10-01 11:31:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86207
Erzahl–Congratulations on your 3rd installment. This surely is an admirable list: An outstanding mixture/collection of both Haiku and Senryu (I know you say pota’to and I say potato-smile). Your accomplishments or talent doesn’t need any such distinction. These pieces are truly an eclectic and vivid imagery of the creator’s natures (both ‘human...’ and ‘mother...’). As usual it’s difficult to chose one or even several of your haiku/senryu as favo- rites (they are all collectibles), but these did speak to me differently than the others (disregard the order); “Photographs” “Pillow” “Moon” “Eclipse” “Hyenas” “Worms” Thanks for presenting them in this format for our re-review, enjoyment, and discern- ment (hope to see these in published form soon). TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-01 06:34:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14706
Great start for a new month with a best of retrospective, and as for stubbornness to me its important to keep your voice your own and you have done that, Thanks for letting me read and comment!!!!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-09-30 23:49:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl: What an astonishing collection. And thank you for "thank you"! This won't be as lengthy as it deserves to be, but I am casting votes for my favorites: First Place “Stream” 45. Hidden rivulet Midst the shoulders of mountains Runs to open sea Because. . .it is subtle, it strikes a mood, a range of emotion and coloring. You image the forces which we do not see but which are so powerful that they cannot be denied. For me, it is a metaphor for the forces of God. I love the image of the mountains with their powerful shoulders, and the magnetism and freedom of the sea which awaits the arrival of the rivulet, much as a mother awaits the return of a child. Excellent! (I don't know what I said before -- these are my feelings tonight.) Second Place “Eclipse” 49. Pirate of darkness Ambushed the moment to steal The jewel of light I love the whimsical approach here, Erzahl, which does denies neither the majesty of the night sky nor the luminaries which the Creator made. The view is lovingly given, with a wink to the "pirate" and acknowledgement of the glory that is the sun. Third Place: This one is most difficult to choose. I think there is a two-way tie! “Zephyr” 52. The air diva sings Resurrecting the dead leaves That bury my feet For sheer beauty of sound and imagery, and for the reference to the resurrection and the writer's humble feet. For the celebration of the air and leaves -- the sounds of "dead leaves" is wonderful. The dual allusion to death: "dead/bury" -- both reach back to "resurrecting" and to the song of the first line. Simply heavenly. And, last but not least. . . “Hammerhead Shark” 54. Marine carpenter Swiftly swims to school of fish Fixing its belly For the humor! Where would we be without your gentle wit, Erzahl? Here your ability to make the reader smile reminds me of Basho. Thank you for all of these poems and for your question. It gives us a chance to show you some of our appreciation for your artistry. My very best wishes! Joanne
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