This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-10-03 22:05:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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verse 61 (Birth)

Love begets delight There’s music in baby’s cry It celebrates life

Copyright © October 2004 Erzahl Leo M. Espino

Additional Notes:
- To my one and only nephew “D3rd”. He will turn one on October 5. I vividly remembers his “birth” – he brought pure joy to the entire family. :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-11-06 12:30:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77273
Hi Ezrahl, It's easy to see from this fantastic verse that your nephew has enfluenced your creative flow. The phrase "Love begets delight" has assonance of "e" sounds and truer words we will not find. The "L"s are music to my ears as is the cry of the newborn baby. And "It celebrates Life" says it all! The assonsnce of the end words in each phrase give this verse more music. I know how much love a new little life can bring into a family and it is a joy to read this and know that you feel it as well. Thanks for your posting! I enjoyed this one very much! Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach On Date: 2004-10-14 19:15:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very good, thoughtful haiku. I thoroughly enjoy haiku and I certainly commend Japan for this form. You are exactly right. The joy of a child's birth is truly a great celebration of life. I can have days where I feel so frustrated, but all it takes is a child to make me smile and usually instantly. For some reason I feel it very difficult to keep a mean, angry face on around precious children. I have no children of my own, but I certainly understand the huge importance of their lives.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-12 19:43:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
Erzahl, I thought this was completely genius. You are so right, and you capture all of the sentiments that should be felt when new lives come into this world. They come in so meek and so mild, just like the Christ child. It's really a beautiful thing. I'm glad that you have taken the time to pay tribute to "birth" in your writing. Thanks for sharing this one this month. In the event of a rewrite or revisiting this one, you might try this for line 2: "There's music when babies cry" Just a thought. I love reading your haiku. You do an awesome job with them, and I hope to see you put together a book collection some day. All the best. Great job on this one. Latorial
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-10-11 15:23:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
An economical journey for me as a parent, with my youngest now nine. A poem should take us somewhere, and for me the journey is quick through these well chosen meaningful words. The highest honour we are bestowed with is parenting another soul through life. The cry is not out of pain, but out of love for shared journeys. Thanks for sharing Erzahl. Robert
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-04 10:58:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Loves delightful gift babies cry is music heard Celebrating life As much as I talk about having ones own voice I couldn't resist the rewrite, Thanks for letting me take a shot at it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-10-04 03:35:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Erzahl--Glad to see immediate post of the 1st piece of your 4th collection of Japanese Verses. Also happy that it involves the upbeat side of life. Congrat- ulations on this wonderful tribute poem to both your nephew's initial "birth" and the anniversary/birthday of that momentous occasion. These sparse 17 syllables so aptly describes what procreation is all about. The lack of line two would be a very grave cause for serious concern. Thanks for again allowing your creative juices to sate our thirst. TLW
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