This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2004-10-08 21:49:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Father's Time

I know a lad who’s been beaten  he’s also been kicked all around made to stand nude in the corner  dads laughter, a sickening sound. Now he drinks rye like a hobo jabs dirty needles into his arm somehow he feels he has earned it each day he finds himself more harm. Living in him like a secret a secret most everyone knows making him feel ever smaller while his eternal sadness grows. One thing hitting fathers can’t fathom is that sons never feel any pain they’re already numb on the outside on the inside they just go insane. Some dads beat out of anger some dads say they hit out of love some lash out for frustration while their sons are asking God above- Beaters boys often have hard times staying close to their lovers and friends never raise a hand to their children but always feeling far away from them. Talking how they never are bothered saying it’s long gone in the past the past catches up with your essence as they spend their lives so fast. Some of them are running forever some are holding hands with a gun someday they hope to quit feeling mostly all are dying far too young… Some fathers feel it’s a duty other dads are sadists and such results are as fast as they’re painless  their sons never know a tender touch. Feeling this strife is deserved bringing themselves more and more inside we’re bruised and battered and our ailing souls so sore.

Copyright © October 2004 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-11-05 00:41:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
Dear Mark Spoken like an "insider". Would I be wrong, or just over-psychologising, to assume you've been on the receiving end a less than nurturing childhood? That would explain your frequent nuances on the result of it. Brave work. And if you ARE talking about you to any degree, know that what was undernourished may yet be restored to health. Best wishes Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-10-29 16:25:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Mark, This is a hard hitting testiment to what the vitims of child-abusing fathers suffer, and I thank you for writing it. I know it's not easy to share all the pain and sorrow and shame that goes with being made a victim of child abuse. Reading this over gives me such a feeling in the pit of my stomach that will not go away. No child should ever be made to feel this way. It's hideous. The fact that you made it rhyme softens the words and makes them easier to read, but the words are still hard to hear as I'm sure they weren't easy to write. You've done an very apt job of describing what abused children feel and I believe people need to hear this. I commend you for your willingness to come forward and tell abusers the effect of their detrimental actions. Thanks for writing this important message. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-12 14:21:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
You have assembled some very revealing scenarios here that seem to encompass everything. Your words are simple and common, yet you combine them in a such a lyrical, casually conversational way that the message punches you in the gut. You matter-of-factly detail the pain, the scars, the after-effects of physical abuse that is pertinent, relevant, and all-too-real. Your rhythm needs some work in all but the 1st and 3rd stanzas, but that could be fixed with some simple wording adjustments. Otherwise, you definately have a piece of work worthy of publication. Your poem could be used to help the physically abused find their voice. they’re already numb on the outside on the inside they just go insane. Beaters boys often have hard times staying close to their lovers and friends painfully expressive
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-10-11 13:13:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Terrifically hard for me to go from start to finish, not because of the writing, it is the pain of plain truth emerging in the poem. This is what defines poetry. It must get the reader to feel something. This one "rips" and will charge people to wiegh the injustice and disparity of child rearing. Thank goodness for interventions in a small percentage of cases. The writing has a starkness about it, honed by the lack of rhyme. This is very important in establishing the somber mood of the horrible recount. Thanks for sharing. Robert
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-09 11:07:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark this is an awesome poem. We often get poems about domestic violence or violence against women, and you have written about a tremendous act not only against children or young men, but it sends out a necessary analysis on what this type of abuse does for a young boy in his manhood. Thanks for giving us a really clear, vivid picture of what this abuse means and how it makes one feel. I am sorry that this happens to anyone, and when I'm dealing with my own sons, I will think of it. It's important what they think about how discipline takes place. Most importantly, it's important that they know that they are so loved. Thanks for sharing such a poignant and sentimental piece on the Link thtis month. Latorial
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