This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-12-19 16:33:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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HIM His stained glass image
hovers above flickering
candles
Eyes downcast, arms open,
palms up
Reverence embraces the Nave
The shape and drape
of His robe caresses Him
with every fold
Kneeling, bending to pray,
only fragmented thoughts
what to say?
Can He hear me?
Can He see me?
Or is He only in my
tutored mind?
Burdens of sin rape my soul
Emotional rue taking
its toll.
From somewhere along the edges
of my being
emerges the truth
His holy presence adorns me
in garments of forgiveness
A single teardrop
revels my acceptance of
absolution |
|
Copyright © December 2004 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
I posted this poem here in Jan. 2002 and decided to re-post this Christmas season
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-04 13:45:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
I'm glad you re-posted as I wasn't here for the original posting, because I find this to be a very powerful piece. Thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-12-30 19:16:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34783
Marilyn,
This is a very personal, faith filled poem.
You wonder if what you believe is true.
I just saw on the history channel/the visions of moses/peter/ezechial:
Journey back through time into the mysterious history of UFOs as revealed through ancient biblical texts. Through intensive reinterpretation of early religious documents, researchers believe that they have found evidence of ancient UFO activity. From Elijah's flying "chariots of fire" and Ezekiel's "wheels within wheels in the sky" to the enigmatic aerial phenomenon that lead Moses during the Exodus, we apply a modern perspective to the writings of the Bible in the context of UFOs.
From somewhere along the edges
of my being
emerges the truth....
you answer your own question...
good poem
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-12-30 11:02:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, how misused at times is the seasons focus. To refocus on the realities of what the lights and glitter mean, is tantamount to understanding why the soul celebrates, regardless of the gifts and banquets. You have addressed well the need we all have to understand a fundamental truth.
HIM – I think “HE” would have liked the use of this pronoun in the title, it removes the focus from the “man” and assigns it to the gift he was.
His stained glass image – There is “hidden” truth to this line, that for many who “believe” the image is just that, a stained glass image of little import. For a believer that elevates other interests to a higher plane than “the” interest should hold.
hovers above flickering
candles – The use of “flickering” candles, although understood in their base structure, is a visual metaphor to the faith which brings one to see “the stained glass image” as the end all of their faith, rather than the image being of one who “is” the redemption of their faith. Excellent!
Eyes downcast, arms open,
palms up – This is a common theme in images that represent the Christ. It actually begins in the 3rd century images of the ascension. From those images come many more that indicate his willingness towards “intimacy and transparency”. His “come as you are” message is enhanced by this image. I think, although the authenticity of the image is “cultured”, that the image does reflect the theology associated with the Christ.
Reverence embraces the Nave – My assumption in this line is you are looking at a younger, childlike image of Christ, and the innocence permeates the image with “reverence”. I believe it was not without reason that it took him 30 years to publicly begin his ministry. The amount of wisdom, tolerance, and charity to be understood by the youngster, undoubtedly required much knowledge of the human condition. As a youngster, knowing his calling, he must have had his innocence tempered mightily.
The shape and drape
of His robe caresses Him
with every fold – Marilyn, I read and reread this stanza many times. I wanted to assure myself of understanding whatever metaphor was implied. The outward meaning is straight forward, but also it is a meaning that does not require the use of this stanza in this poem. My final analysis lead me to believe you have included a purely “garment” description to present the totality of the Christ “man”, who although he was “diety” he also was man, and the flowing robe “caressing” him was like the Spirit of God surrounding him.
Kneeling, bending to pray,
only fragmented thoughts
what to say? – “Bending”, “fragmented”, “what to say”, all lead to the character of the one granting honor to the honoree. Although taken as a pilgrim one would be inclined to presume an outward discourse, they are actually all an internalize belief system that mimics, “grants substance to”, the same fragility that Christ allowed, and an understanding that it is of such “transcending” import that the object of such a philosophy is as worthy of recognition, as he is willing to be idealized in truth.
Can He hear me?
Can He see me?
Or is He only in my
tutored mind? – This stanza sets apart his poem from the objective to the subjective. That there are questions, not only of the deity, but of the worshipers mind, is as much humanity as was the need for the ascension. In both are found the redemption of faith, but also in both, are the seeds of belief. An excellent stanza, there are seeds there for all.
Burdens of sin rape my soul
Emotional rue taking
its toll. – The fulfillment of Christ requires the need for that fulfillment, that the propitiation is due, requires the need for such propitiation. I cannot judge the souls of man.
From somewhere along the edges
of my being
emerges the truth - A personal look at all humanity, for the need of faith is founded on the “edges” of the being, as a “substance of that not seen”. Truth is a judgment by humanity, the truth either “is” or “is not” judged so by man. However, no matter that judgment, the truth “is”, nevertheless.
His holy presence adorns me
in garments of forgiveness – Now is seen the “garments”, the symbolism between the robes and holiness. A metaphor for forgiveness when “adorned” by God.
A single teardrop
revels my acceptance of
absolution – The crux of Christianity is accepting by faith that God did contribut to salvation in the guise of his son. Absolution comes when that is imbedded in the soul. Forgiveness was never a “God” thing, but God knew that forgiveness was a requirement for the soul of man to function in the freedom of faith. Excellent Christmas Poem Marilyn. For all, and the season.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-12-26 23:52:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What a wonderful revisit, and I see his reverance, and know he is always with us, and sometimes we may not understand the reason, but He knows, and in his image you adorn the suppelementation and his Goodness, and done beautifully. So even these many years you showed a brillance of understanding, and see He is all the universe. Man creates advirse anconditions, God and his son watch over us, as your poem intimates all is right, all we need is belief. Wonderful Marilyn and very fitting to this Bless time of the year.
God Bless and keep watch over you forever.
Love always Jo, and thanks for being my Guardian Angel, I'll never forget........Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-12-24 11:50:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
Marilyn--Vivid pious imagery created by this sparsely rhymed/punctuated, but
all season piece. The sentiments scribe expresses in stanzas four and five
probably felt by most believers, although not audibly and for sure not pub-
licly.
The giving over/opening up/allowing entry for purge is truly redeeming and
succinctly expressed in three stanzas (six thru nine). Moreover, the result-
ing and ending stanza ten, although not eloquently stated, belies this post
sense of genuiness:
"A single teardrop
revels (reveals?) my acceptance of
absolution"
Thanks for the appropriate timing of your sober effort. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-12-19 22:36:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Marilyn,
Your piece is complete with divine spirit - and really touches my heart. I'm a believer - no tutored mind for me - this poem is exceptional based on content, structure and vivid imagery - Burdens of sin rape my soul, emotional rue taking it's toll - just a wonderful line -
His work is in your writing - God Bless you for sharing this amazing piece.
Sincerely,
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2004-12-19 20:09:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
I have often thought that giving witness in public is both pridefull and priceless. Pridefull in the best sense of the word, that you are proud to voice your beliefs, and priceless in the rewards "to come" for passing on your faith. To hang it "out there" so to speak, says volumes about who you are and what you find
value in. I have read a great deal of of poet named Jessica Powers, and you will find much of her work on the web. She does great work on your subject matter, in fact one of her finest works is titled "The Garments of God". I find some reluctrance on my part to do any critiquing on the subject matter as presented, since I am a deep seated Christian, and find great peace in reading, or listening to others share their beliefs. The last stanza however, connecting the heart of forgiveness to the longing of the soul through a teardrop is worth its weight in poetic praise. As one of my best friends has always said, "We leave this earth with only two things, memories and faith." Thanks for the sharing. Peace, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-12-19 16:53:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
revels my acceptance of...sp. s/b reveals.
Can He hear me?
Can He see me?
Or is He only in my
tutored mind?
Some say "he" can...Sometimes I wonder. I cannot fathom a G-d who professes to love his
creations allowing the death camps to exist.
I cannot really comment on this secular piece mainly because I am not of your faith.
Note:Jews do not have images of G-d and or icons in their synagogues.
Note: The initial sin is not in a Jews vocabulary...i.e. that we're all born sinners. We believe
we are born with a clean slate. I hope you don't mind me pointing out these differences.
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