Paul R Lindenmeyer's E-Mail Address: barkleybigdog@aol.com


Paul R Lindenmeyer's Profile:
I am a father of 2 teenage women, and am slowly being educated by them. Writing has been a comforting island of sanity, and TPL is a great site to enjoy what little sane time I have left. I have nothing but good things to say about the site. May we all continue to enjoy it. Peace, Paul

So far 708 People have Entered a Personal Profile on The Poetic Link! Click Here to see the rest of them or to Add your Own Personal Profile Now!

Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Paul R Lindenmeyer has given on The Poetic Link.
By Clicking a Poem Title, you can view the poem that is associated with each Critique.


If you would like to view all of Paul R Lindenmeyer's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!

Displaying Critiques 1 to 50 out of 81 Total Critiques.
Click one of the following to display the: Next 31 ... Last 50 Critiques.

Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Paul R LindenmeyerCritique Date
TragicThomas H. SmihulaS, sometimes, just as Tom Hanks said in Castaway, "You just have to keep breathing because you never know what the tide will bring in." If "Solitude" is the current hope, then "Solitude" must be what is needed. Sometimes sitting perfectly still, alone for long periods in complete silence is curative. Certainly the Zen masters look at it that way, the Trappist Monks search it out. The verbiage is clear, if a bit on the down side. The message is indeed "against the rules" of positive, joyful living, but who is in charge of "the rules"? Only the author knows what "rules" to follow and only the author is in charge of personal "fullness". Replacing joy with despair might speak to a personal loss or defeat, but joy is never lost, it just waits around the corner to reappear. Sometimes it resides in the depths of solitude disguised. To see through it may require a change of menu on the "nourish" side of the soul....I hear a heartfelt need for sunlight, humour, laughter, companionship, and some type of true interaction between the author and the rest of the human family. We are more alike in our wants and needs than we admit. Hope the outlook improves...This outlet is certainly a place to "hang it out there" so to speak. If "depression" is the "word", welcome to humanity. Now what use to ring your bell should be sought out and engaged. Peace, Paul2008-02-21 16:06:35
Just ShitRene L BennettRene, indeed so...2008-02-14 16:17:57
Reaches OutClaudia F. SepeClaudia, nice to see a new poet on the link. I am an old one, so you will have to bear with me. First, you title entices the reader to answer the question, Reaches out for what? The stanzas are staggered in lines presented, and not offset or stepped down. I would suggest you either offset them, or equalize them in number of lines, ie. 5,6,5,6,5,6 or 4,5,6,6,5,4 simply for visual appeal and consistency. Since the work is free verse, and the verbiage straight forward, you might also consider tightening up the lines, that is removing "the"s, "But"s, "and"s "It"s, etc...You can pare down without losing feeling or emotion, since the reader understands without the intrusion of small words. Here's an example I might share.. Born, seeing light, a baby reaches out cries for comfort but no one reaches in I do not wish to change your work, only to show a different take on expressing the same view, or as is said, painting the same picture with different brush strokes and colors. You have the ability to express and involve the reader in the story. The sharing of your emotional views is most important. Sometimes less is more, and less gives the reader more room to navigate the fields of feeling which poetry is meant to touch and enrich. Keep up the nice work. Peace, Paul2008-01-10 17:36:42
If my heart was one within itselfMark Andrew HislopMark, this is late in reply, but the work touched a chord, especially the final two statements. Very well written will clear intent and heartfelt honesty. Had I one suggestion, it would be not to stop the flow with the period after "measure." Were you to use "and" you would have a triple request which would be a continuation of the prior triple stanza beginning with "If my heart".... Only a humble suggestion to keep the message flowing. The construct is perfect, giving emphasis to the final line. Great liturgy material. Paul2008-01-09 20:10:26
Present PlanDeniMari Z.DeniMari, good to unload the downside of life through your poetry. Losing a job has always been a traumatic time, but in reality a time to perhaps revamp the direction of ones future. "another test in the span of the Plan" says it all. A testing ground for the spirit perhaps. Well, having lost many jobs both thru my own fault and to expansions, retooling, reductions, cut backs, restructurings, etc, etc, etc., I can comiserate with your feelings, but know that all things happen for a reason, and good things happen eventually. A friend always tells me about the future. Her take on it is that if we could see everything to come today, a dull parade of boring tomorrows would surely follow. Good luck with the balance of the "test." Best wishes, thanks for the post, and Peace to you. Paul 2007-03-29 10:07:24
MY CLOWNMonica ONeillDear Monica, my sympathy to you on the loss of Arnie. We had many conversations over the past few years, and we crossed poetic swords more than a few times, but while his scarcasitic humor and tongue in cheek wit were caustic initially, over the years he became a delightful critic and psuedo pen pal. Hopefully the memories of joy and light shared with you and your son, will ease your sorrow at his passing. He will be missed by the old guard at TPL and by many others he touched I'm sure. It is also my hope that through the "deafening", you and yours find the peace and comfort offered by our compassionate G_d. Shalom, Paul. PS. Your writing is direct, heartfelt and moving. Poetry is indeed a mirror of the heart, but you always knew that. Peace, Paul 2007-02-13 11:54:22
The truth of the passionMark Andrew HislopMark, analogy fired for effect? OK, but the verbiage, sad rhyme scheme and content do nothing for this reader. If offense to the believer is the goal, it works. If poetic licence is streched to useless blabbering, consider it accomplished. Of no historical or theological merit, and of less poetic value. Sorry but this sounds like a long night of to many Bud Lights....2007-02-03 00:48:04
Come Back Arniearnie s WACHMANArnie, As usual, a short, terse piece about the realities of life. I have read that "If you're still here, you have something else to accomplish." Seems like a logical answer to the " why all of us are here", but what do I know. Nice to see you back and able to hit the keys. As for the bright light, maybe it's good it has not been turned on yet. Edison's medicine does not entice this heart, but if it brings a few souls a few more moments on the planet, I say bring on the paddles..Hope your recuperation is quick and you are with us for many more years. Peace, Paul 2007-01-27 10:28:05
Stepping StoneDeniMari Z.DeniMari, interesting vers libre piece on "answering the great questions" of direction, destination and discernment of His will in daily life. Verbiage is clear, construct supports the reader's pace, while the story line proceeds to the final "Yes" of the writers acceptance and awareness of the importance of humility, while time stands still in the limbo of "pity". Thanks for the work, always a pleasure to comment on this type of introverted searching..."Not my will, but Thine be done" is foundational to so many theological foundations. Thanks for allowing me to comment.. Peace, Paul 2006-11-27 10:33:29
Home Is Where Your Truck IsEllen K LewisEllen, Love me, love my truck!!! Only a true truck owner can know the joy of trucking!!! Nice light piece...We need a little more light hearted verse these days...One of my favorites about machines is "She thinks my tractor's sexy", pretty funny....Also like the "Redneck Yacht Club" ditty, but boats are another matter...Thanks for the laughs...Peace, Paul2006-11-09 18:23:28
Classroom of philosophy 101arnie s WACHMANArnie, back to the circular answering/questioning answers, ending with the ultimate why? Ok, but as I always say to my kids when they ask me to answer an "un-answerable", "Why is there air?"....The answer is part and parcel of the "un-answerable" question......So in reply to your work here and your query, with all humility I must reply......I have no clue!!! but maybe the answer is "because" and I'll leave it at that...Peace, Paul2006-11-03 17:47:43
Boo Boo Said the PumpkinEllen K LewisEllen, fun holloween piece..nice alliteration, rhyme scheme works and the ending is cute...Always fun to write a little fun.....Peace, Paul2006-11-01 15:22:42
a fire of yesJoanne M UppendahlJoanne, have read this multiple times on multiple days, waiting for some defenative conclusions. The structure is fine, the verbiage clear, and the allegory tying the wetlands abundance to nature's progressions is finely wrought. The autumnal ending sounded by "last night's moonrise hanging "a frost of gold on trees" gives the reader notice that winter will soon "clasp them closer." The theme is your usual "nature" tied to seasons tied to beginnings, tied to ends which evolve and return to beginnings. Your verbal vignettes of the cyclical wonders of nature are, as always a treat to read. Hopefully the absolute knowledge of these continuous, unending cycles on this plane, gives you great comfort and consolation when dealing with doubts on the continuation to the next steps we all will deal with. In passing, I hope I did not intrude sending you the piece by Jessica Powers. If so, my apologies. Wishing you only the best, Peace, Paul 2006-10-23 09:51:43
RappingDellena RovitoDellena, nice piece exuding the accleration of time adjoining itself to the music and beat of the generational music which I find almost incomprehensible, as did my parents when they first heard Dylan or Hendrix. Our lives do pass in split seconds with as you say,the "grim line holding" "rap of progression." That's our reality and we're stickin' to it, as us country boys say. Verbiage is crisp, I like the linkaged "snare,save and use" to "second,minute or hour." Perhaps some condensation is possible, but the message and tie to the current Rap vogue is timely...Peace, Paul2006-10-23 09:27:10
Dazzled InsightsJames C. HorakJames, semses, softness, pleasure and anticipation of sighs, shudders, passion. Cooks say the secret to the meal is always good ingredients, care in preparation and finally, most importantly presentation. You have the right ingredients in your verbiage,{Perhaps some "your"s could be cut back.}and the meter/pace of the work is good. My only suggestion would be in the construct, ie. the layout of the work could perhaps be adjusted. The final stanza is exceptional. Peace, Paul2006-10-17 16:59:09
Sailing to MazatlanJoanne M UppendahlJoanne, on a whim I returned to TPL and what do I find?..You're back and once again immersed in Madre Maris Metaphor...Knowing proclivities and histories, I can commiserate with this outpouring of sadness and grief. The pace is consistent, {except for S1,L3 @12 vs 10 for all others} perhaps for effect or to force a pause, ie. the -- after "as yet unfurled--". Verbiage is crisp, a bit of internal rhymescheme in S3 L1/L2, and some deft usage of soft "s" and "L"s..You know what a minimalist I have become, so perhaps the I's and My's could be removed, since we know it is you speaking, and the repeating "as yet"s could be cut back. Only some small changes to a somber rememberance. Perhaps recalling the most joyous parts of his life might also receive some thought and verbiage, since in reality, time and space, our children are always and will always be with us. Hoping this note finds you well and at peace. As always, my best to you, Peace, Paul 2006-10-17 10:17:34
Tender DuplicityMary J CoffmanMary, the piece exudes anger and frustration wrapped in distain. Poetry is a great outlet for all the aforementioned and it lets the air out of the "gutless droppings of devious dribble" anger balloon, but it sometimes, when published, a bit harsh in the poetic sense. Not that poetry is not sometimes harsh, but when mixed with hurt, betrayal and outlandish behavior by someone close to the author, the outcome sometimes emotes a tinge of wishful vendetta. I believe the hurt expounded on here has been felt by many others, so maybe it's repetition in a literary mode is unappealing on occaision. Your construct is good, verbiage is sharp and clear along with a crystal clear message. My best to you, Peace, Paul2006-08-04 09:37:33
ComfortNancy Ann HemsworthNancy, the personification of title shines thru this piece. Short and easy to read adds to the appeal and the ending verbiage is uplifting. The pace is well thought out, with only a slight variation in the first verse. Perhaps it might be looked at, "of rythms past she lulls my aging heart's lament". The work is pleasing to the eye in layout and spoken from the heart. Thanks for submitting the work. My best, peace Paul 2006-08-04 08:42:26
DaydreamJoanne M UppendahlJoanne, have not been on site forever...Then saw your name on this revised piece...So you are back....interesting. Your personification, as usual, escorts the reader thru the maze of nature's attire along with delightful alliterations and assonances. S's abound with r's creating soft, subtle sounds, reflective of how nature speakes in the heart of the forest...Moon, water, lakes, frogs, "wisps of fog" and one of my favorite words, glimmer..Enjoyed as usual the stroll. Nice to see you back...My best, Paul2006-06-07 13:45:41
haiku (first light)Joanne M UppendahlJoanne, "shades of grey." are more light than dark, and this quad haiku sets a tone with classic pace, and a subtle end rhyme. The observer walking "ahead of first light" sets the stage for what both observer and ducks know is to come. Multiple levels of thought here. Knowledge that the grey announces the inevitable rising of the sun..The economy of sunlight taken advantage of by the birds, for there is only so much in a day, so no time to waste, along inclusion of the sense of smell with "feather dust" helps draw the reader into your created pre-dawn vignette. I enjoyed the stroll and can commiserate with the early morning greetings both from and to God's sunrise. As usual, a poetic treat..Peace, Paul2005-10-31 18:53:54
Senyru (train watcher)Joanne M UppendahlJo Up, or down? This triple decker, as to form, sound and fast shutter mental picture is correct and acurate imho. The picture is, however, a bit on the trepidation side for the well being of the author. That is, this reminds me of being at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. They have a coal mine inside the building, and you go down in a open cage thru the black and narrow levels of rock to the bottom, and that is really scary! I'm probably in left field on this, however, the last stanza speaks of the disappointment, that is that the train heard, was not coming towards the observer, therefore a hope that the next one could be observed. Or the observer had intentions other than simply watching, that is mentally a "Death-dealing rumbles" wish. Since it is quiet out of my realm, the intent shall remain only a guess. As usual, stimulating construct and verbiage. Peace, Paul2005-09-22 20:18:31
Ah, The Blame GameKenneth R. PattonKenneth, a good read on the need to feed the needs. The rhyme scheme is good, generally unforced, and the message is clear. Indeed there is enough blame to take up multiple committes time, millions spent on inquiries, headlines requesting beheadigs, firings and poor management studies will cost millions more, and when all is said and done, we will once again realize that Mother Nature will have her way with us when she wants, where she wants and for as long as she wants. When the blame starts to fly, you know elections are around the corner. These monsterous situations always remind me of the mayoral election when Jane Byrne beat Michael Blandic in Chicago in the 70's. Chicago got a Noreaster off Lake Michigan, and 3 feet fell in an evening, then two more feet fell the next day, then another few inches on top of that. Byrne accused Blandic of not "being prepared" and letting the city down in it's time of need. No one could argue the point that the city could not clear 5plus feet of snow in a weekend. No one could argue that nature had it's way with the Windy City. Jane won, and her ally, the snow, beat her up a few years later. So much for using nature a political ally. Well, Katrina has had her way with the Big Easy, so let the blame blasting start, but nobody can fight Mo Nature, still I don't hear much blame going in her direction..Oh well, thats politics..Nice post, timely, on the money. Peace, Paul2005-09-09 21:25:48
Senyru 818Michael J. CluffMichael, have not seen a lot of your work as of late. Nice to see a post again. This classic haiku is sharp and to the point as it should be. The picture is well painted, and clean in its here and now description of his careful attention to dress, his stylish presentation, followed by his cataclysmic demise. The vignette is well orchestrated and leaves the reader with that numb feeling that most of us have experienced in one mode or another. Failure or rejection is not a welcomed prize, especially if one wears a "olive green sports coat." Always a pleasure to comment. Peace, Paul2005-09-09 21:11:23
Unexpectedly StoneJoanne M UppendahlJoanne, wellp, this ones a duesey!! I can't say I enjoy the content matter, but the tone and pace are as usual, well done. The line breaks and internal rhyme schemes work, and the repetition causes a focus on the want to solve the quandry you present, ie. "No one will ever know--even you, reading this now." The feeling of being lost and immersed in depression rings thru this "Blue Monday" work. It is heart rendering and emotes such a sad side of the human spirit, but that is what the outlet of poetic posting is for, that is the sharing of pains and passions, hurts and happiness, unmitigated joys and grief always remembered. Perhaps in the sharing of these moments, as I've heard, the joy is doubled, and the grief is halved. It is my pleasure to share such heart rendered moments, and while I cannot "ever know" the particular pain, I can commiserate with loss and all it's trappings. The lost and hopelessness passes, and joy is never lost, just misplaced and waiting around the corner to be rediscovered. Faith always seems to serve the spirit well when involved in one of these "Dark Nights of the Soul". My wish is that you always keep it close to all you love. I have no doubts on the outcome, even if the here and now are bleak. Perhaps John of the Cross was right when he called "Faith, the marriage of God and the soul. The dark night in Gethsemane when all your friends have left, all about you seek for your downfall, and God is silent as the marriage is consumated." Always rang loud and clear to this bell freak. Sometimes the bells ring clearer than others. Must be old age and my declining ability to hear as good as I use to. Enjoyed the work, as always, Peace, Paul PS. Have gone up Rainier many times. Love the spring flowers, wondrous nature trails and fresh air. New climbing boots always called for eel skin on my heals and 2 pair of nylong foot socks below my woolies. It always kept the blisters at bay. You can get them at Lands End or any sporting goods store. If your on to the tip, I apologize for intruding. Enjoy the journey, always more enjoyable when the intent is a bit on the spiritual side. My best as always.2005-09-09 21:01:05
I Think of YouMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Medard, an observational look at serious depression over amour gone bad. The chemicals mix with the depression of loss and return to the "I"s. I am, I think, I find, I offer, etc... The method is vers libre, and suited for this subject.My suggestion would be to remove the "I"s and see how it sounds and reads. The reader can differentiate between the subject matter and your thoughts. I would suggest some of "The"s also be considered, or given some character or personified. Chilled last glass, last coffin nail, the lasts of life wasted.....Not even here, I think of you, succulent love never tasted... Hope I do not offend, but some honest thoughts make all of us better writers, so if we offer suggestions on others work, hopefully it will not be taken badly, since it is given with the best of intentions. Enjoyed the post, and hope you have a grand day. Peace, Paul2005-09-07 14:53:39
Ode To A Younger Mestephen g skipperStephen, thanks for the "To Do" and "Remember This" list. It is always of value to post Wisdom's suggestions. Worth copying and wall papering my childrens rooms with pehaps. Thanks for the post, Peace, Paul2005-09-07 14:33:59
Tomorrow's ForecastRick BarnesRick, quick analogy linking hearts and hurricanes so to speak. Rhyme scheme works, pace is good, and the conclusion is foggy, as it usually is. Title eye catching, since it is always up in the air. Terrible pun.. Enjoyed the projection..Peace, Paul2005-08-29 18:15:09
Wow poet this is powerfulMark Andrew HislopMark, a most interesting introverted assemblege of sometimes cynical, cynicisims. The both repititious, and recycling of repetitions in minimally changed statements is so accurate in the world of critiqers. It is so hard to verbalize beyond "the most powerful thing I have ever read!" A nice gesture, but how many times has that critiquer said that in the last year? Just once, just now, just to you??? Really! We must give them credit however. They take their time to try to give you some kind of a read on your work. That we lay it out there every time we post, is a given. That someone responds at all is a gift. So if we begin our synopsis of the critique with the "I've heard that too many times." attitude, perhaps we skewer our continued analysis of the responder's missive. One cannot argue with the overusage of "absolutes", however, one always likes to hear about acceptance and understanding on the part of others about a published work, even if the intent was simply to share secrets, paint passsions or pass on mercy and graces given. Your work is accurate, has good pace and clear verbiages. The short sentences force the reader to both read, and think back on wether or not they used that statement in one of their own critiques..Forcing honest critiquing is always a of interest to the true poet. It is why I hope one day we will go back to blind critiques. It was so fair and even if occaisonally corrupted, a much more honest way to make each of us better writers. It is a hobby of intellect, and in this arena all the honesty you can acquire, you should acquire!! Grand Writing, Peace, Paul2005-08-29 13:31:02
Excitementmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, cinquain structured request for an answer perhaps not wanted but needed. I enjoyed the question, answered with a question format. If I had any suggestion, it would be to find another word for excitement in the body of the piece because these are such short poetic vehilcles. The thought comes thru loud and clear, and the frustration seeps out. Nice work as usual. Peace, Paul2005-08-21 10:28:11
Our TimeAudrey R DoneganAudrey, soft sharing of heartfelt amore. It is difficult to open up and verbalize tenderness and all its trappings, but you do a fine job with "longings past and desires consumed" "Smiling inside" ending in true "completion." Well written and appreciated by it's recepient I'm sure. My best to you, Peace, Paul2005-08-20 12:35:10
Upon Her LeavingRick BarnesRick, snapshot vignette of seperation on multiple levels. The resignation of one party to a partnership is never a pleasant happening, and your plain verbiage paints the picture well. The construct with short lines breaks, forces the reader to ingest the action and respond to the situation. If this is a personal episode, I hope it passes quickly. Having been a participant in a similar situation, I can completely commiserate with the feelings and outlook. The final semblance, noting in the process the "utmost concern" in returning "myself to me." is extremely well put and heart rendering. Kudos on this fine work. Peace, Paul2005-08-06 09:14:27
Sighmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, well you go from the Dark Side to the sensuous, and in minimalst style to boot! Well the line breaks are well placed with the 2/4/6/8-2 pace of the meter you force the reader to your conclusion as a piece of this length should. The verbiage is lush and subtle, again as it should be with the subject matter. Wish someone had written it for me! Always a pleasure to comment on your work.. Peace, Paul 12005-07-31 18:30:18
Cherry Blossom MelodyJana Buck HanksJana, a minimalist's delight. The translative passes on so much more than the verbiage, and your usage of soft s's, "softly shimmers", and "symphonic, splendor sparks in my soul" sets the stage for the humble thanks given in the final stanza. We are indeed the sum total of our teacher's offerings, some of which I fear we do not heed until the wisdom presents itself after the fact. Thanks for passing on the insight. I will have to pass it on. Another lesson learned.. Peace, Paul2005-07-31 11:07:12
The Dark Sidemarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, dark indeed. Rhyme scheme and short line construction move the reader down the rabbit hole, tickling the hope side with "Visions of light" then crushing it with "for naughts", "without doors" and "without shores", finishing the vignette with "imprisoned" future.. The ending stikes me as interesting, in that while the daylight begins and the demon leaves, the verbiage of "Imprisoned" leaves a negative conotation imprint on daylight, as if it is not looked forward too, almost not of importance. My take of darkness verifying the desire for more darkness...Thanks for the post...Peace, Paul2005-07-25 19:26:58
EpiphanyLatorial D. FaisonLatorial, you have enticed a minimalist with this brief work. The title is appealing, structure and pace perfect, and all in all a classic the masters would be proud of. Multiple levels can be discerned, both first and second person observational views can be attached and the message of the subjugation of prejudicial viewing of color is well presented. A multiplicity of wisdoms, viewed through the prism of "first time colored" is splendid. Looking thru "strands of black and whites" the facade masking the true reality of creation, and viewing all the spectacular colors of existence given us. Enjoyed the entire 17 word entree...Great job, Peace, Paul2005-07-22 10:07:24
A Spiritual DecisionLatorial D. FaisonLatorial, any work giving witness of personal credo is wondrous. Your honest heart shines thru this sincere piece and is both welcome and soothing to this ear. Your constant usage of biblical references is apparent and well used. The wish to follow the correct path,find the "real treasure" coupled to the closing verbiage of the taking up of the cross as the price to be paid, rings of faith and resolve. Thanks for sharing such a personal spiritual work. It is always timely and of great value, this ability to be humble and thankful through our poetry. Thanks again, Peace, Paul 2005-07-12 15:46:49
Another Bronx DayJesus Manuel LopezJesus, just back from a trip to Newark and Jersey City to visit my nephew. Lived on the South Side of Chicago till I was 23.. The city is quick to exact quick justice, right or wrong and you have painted it with large brush strokes here. The verbiage is direct, and the picture painted vividly. The deft usage of l's and soft W"s at the conclusion sets the stage for the sharp "bicycle." ending. It is reflective of the inner city I know, and a well done piece. Peace, Paul2005-07-12 14:06:51
Where Do They Come From?Kenneth R. PattonKenneth, delightful time framed vignette of that cyclical program of consciouness integration. The short lines force the issue of pace while the verbiage mandates examination on multiple planes as the piece moves on. Enjoyed the painted vignettes of "Passages" as Gail Sheehy explains so well. The return to the acknoledgement that another birth is possible, (In my humble opinion a discovery of a reality that was always present, just not percieved.}and that rebirth is a return to a better self. Poetry is such a powerful visual and core touching medium, used well here to express wonder and purpose. Like the Good Witch told Dorothy, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home." To which I humbly add my Amen. Wonderful verse, Peace, Paul PS. My brothers say the exact same thing to me. Your title is the first thing they say after they read my work. My pat answer is "Ya got me, they just come.".. I don't know if we're silly or nuts. Either way is ok, but someday I'd like to know which. Probably a subtle mixture too complex to explain to this mind. Oh well..Next.2005-07-12 13:53:25
UnknowingDellena RovitoDellena, a dear friend of mine says that we are as different as the grains of sand on the beach, or the drops of rain from the heavens. The piece reverberates with with a plea to share those emotions we all have and all believe are unique. Perhaps, but we all hope for the best, wish we could share more, and wonder if anyone else is lonely or sad or in need of a trusted ear. The work is soulfull and filled with the desire to share and connect with others. Poetry is such a grand outlet for hopes and wishes and uncertainties. In the final outcome, we all wonder, ponder and wish we could make closer connections with all around us. In my humble opinion, we are all closer to one another than we suspect, and indeed connected at the core of our souls with Creation. Your final final verbiage might well be "everyone", but know that at least one reader feels connected. Nice personal work, Peace, Paul2005-07-05 12:54:38
I'll Call Him Bobmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, a fine tribute to the unconquerable human spirit. The many souls you touch in this outreach you do is of great consequence to those you touch, and kept track of by the recording angels. A very touching piece of work mandating a standing "Bravo" from this reader. I'll call it heartwarming.. Peace Paul2005-07-05 10:42:18
I'll Call Him Bobmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, a fine tribute to the unconquerable human spirit. The many souls you touch in this outreach you do is of great consequence to those you touch, and kept track of by the recording angels. A very touching piece of work mandating a standing "Bravo" from this reader. I'll call it heartwarming.. Peace Paul2005-07-05 10:42:18
The Opposite Side Of Lifemarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, a wonderful vignette of creation life, death and rebirth cycles. I have been thru a forest devastated by fire in the Rocky Mtn. Ntl. Forest. It is the stuff of the Twilight Zone. You have painted an accurate picture with your "nature's grisly wrath" and "skinless and frondless in whited ash." The supplication for a final answer at the conclusion is also a nice touch. Having seen it and walked thru the devastaion, this piece was a pleasure to read. The scope of the destruction was always astounding..Thanks for the great post. Peace, Paul 2005-06-03 02:12:48
Soul AxisKenneth R. PattonKenneth, you touch an interesting chord, but perhaps answer your own question. The soul just may be "the center" and the core, ergo "yes" to your first questions. Don't know about who or what "so many" pertains to, but if it is other beings with "No Sun Nothing orbiting Just drifting" your observation is a personal one. The metaphor using the "Big Bang" is well done, and the ending "I've coalesced" deserves this minimalist's applause. Nice work as usual. Peace, Paul2005-06-01 10:34:22
Hybrid HaikuJoanne M UppendahlJoanne, this haiku reminds me of a Renoir, splashed with the bright red of the poppies, and instant polaroid of nature, commented on and adjoined to Frost's short vignette of nature's verdigris only mandate. It is as it should be, instantly envisioned and absorbed. Once again, delightful work.. Peace, Paul2005-05-26 20:17:36
Around the BlockMell W. MorrisMello, am going out the door. Will e you my crit. I love the work. Peace, Paul2005-05-14 15:11:12
Your Pain In My HeartLennard J. McIntoshLeonard, I read this piece when you first posted it, chewed on it again a week later, came back to it last week and now have still not come to a solidified conclusion on the subject matter, or intent. That is, I read it on multiple levels, with more meanings than you might have intended. I have often times written heartfelt verse with a percieved at the time message, only to read it afterwards and find that it's message might be deeper than "I" intended or even envisioned. This piece has the apparent wish to share pain in it's apparent message. I was present at the birth of both of my daughters, and the suffering and pain were, I believe, over shadowed by the joy at their births , but the suffering was only a commiserated sharing, not a personally endured one. That is the first level I perceive when I read this post. I may be presumptious, or perhaps too attuned to other subtilties always present, but the simile to Christ's suffering and your usage of "pain", "quell enmity", "buried in my bones" "grant me your pain" and conclusion "total immersion in me." ring of both heartfelt wish and humble supplication, in essence, gifts of grace unmerited but received with humility and understood thankfulness along with a wish to relieve the suffering by sharing in it. Your verse is always multi-layered, floral and well thought out. Perhaps you might clarify in response, but my perception of this piece, while clouded, is an accurate assesment of it's content as I see it. Thanks for the post, always a pleasure to comment on your work. Peace, Paul2005-04-04 11:07:57
At The Real Life’s ReturnLennard J. McIntoshLeonard, you speak of "the Way" with wonderful metaphors. This canvas is a plethora of well painted verbiage, wrapped around the spectacular work of Milton. You usage of question and answer dialogue, coupled with clear statement of purpose of Diety's plan, work well to move the reader thru this psuedo theologic landscape. The opening stanza I find most moving, in that "bolted ears" are in my humble opinion, both causal and willful in the damage to the spirit, that is wisdom is ignored and hubris embraced. Writers of Milton's ilk had such a grasp of the struggle of the spirit with the worldly issues. Their work should be examined by each generation, and commented on as you have done here, with heartfelt verbiage. It's what I read both on and in between the lines. "unwarranted love" is indeed the gift that "every eye is bound to see", and "life bathed in perfection" is indeed "that life that He first pruposed back there in the begining." This is my kind of writing. Concise and saturated with both the spirit and wisdom of the ages. A worthy reflection on a genius metaphysical poet's work which has illuminated both the spirit and literary life of all who take the time to delve into its content and message. Thank you for the uplifting post. Always a pleasure to read your work. Peace, Paul 2005-03-30 02:18:14
Judging By the CoverMell W. MorrisMello, love the free verse style and flow of the haute couture selected by such an august group of writers. It imparts a view into their essence and attitudes towards outward appearances vs. the content of their creations. Love the alliteration thruought, but especially in the final two stanzas. Great story line and easy verbiage, and indeed, "how they sing!" Hope we all join in this chorus.. My best to you, Peace, Paul2005-03-26 12:57:44
A Captive Birdmarilyn terwillegerMarilyn, when quiet and "silence reigns", what wondrous music is heard. This is a personal write, and the solice requested shines throughout. The construction and verbiage are clear and straight forward, moving the reader along with unforced rhyme and touching that need for "relief" of situation with clarity. Always enjoy your posts. Thanks for this one, Peace, Paul2005-03-23 11:26:36
Through The PainNancy Ann HemsworthNancy, isn't it great how we are granted access to clear memories of childhood, then allowed to meld them with the present and produce a clear vignette of overlapping feelings. Who has not pressed a nose to a window on a cold, rainy day. The outlook changes with age, but the "nose pressed, against the windowpane." repetition is a stark reminder of the child resident in all our souls. Thanks for taking me back to that "time spent in wonderment" of childhood. The pace of the work is appropos, and the verbiage crystal clear. Thanks for the post, and have a grand day.. Peace, Paul2005-03-15 20:14:28
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Paul R LindenmeyerCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 50 out of 81 Total Critiques.
Click one of the following to display the: Next 31 ... Last 50 Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Paul R Lindenmeyer's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!