This Poem was Submitted By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-01-05 15:44:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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When We Die

Time's up.  So soon? Yes.  Now? Come.  Why? Necessity.  Where? Elsewhere.  I'm not ready!! No choice here.  Please!! Please come now.  Oh G-d!!!    Yes.........

Copyright © January 2005 Paul R Lindenmeyer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-02-04 19:36:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Paul, All of us want to 'go to heaven' but noone wants to die to do it! It reminds me of bedtime. You hate to go to bed and finally force yourself. Come don't want to get up! You have to force yourself to get up? It's weird. I think your endings right. We must surrender to what there is for us. Our ability to control is quite limited! great thinking piece again paul.....[you could go on a bit more.....] ciao, Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kelly Denise LaBeff On Date: 2005-02-03 10:15:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
Paul with about 2 dozen words you said so much. A conversation, thank God - literally - that was between you and God, the one who would lead you to that final place of eternal dwelling. I loved the humor and wit within your conversation especially at the very end where the other identity was revealed....Oh God!... and He goes< "Yes!"...once more, thank God, huh? Life is too short and when it's time to go, well, it's just that, a necessity-now is the time to go..and go..where? Exactly as you said, "Elsewhere,,,and that elsewhere is not up for discussion, not at this point in the game for the choice is no longer yours,,now it's HIS,,that choice was yours, but you made it already --- while you existed in the 'living' part of life! See how well you wrote your verse. It took me all this while to say what you said with about 2 dozen words,,,2 dozen words poetically precise that were utilized with extreme talent, too,,,,,well done, poet paul, well done. TY Kelly
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-23 14:04:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Oy vay!Do you really believe that when G-d calls and you see the light you have a choice? I had several patients that claim they did. Made me wonder. Nice little piece. A departure from your usual mode and style. Nothing to add here. I liked it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-01-22 19:40:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wow, what a strongly flavored conversation, not ready yet, no choice really, death is predetermined by God, none but the so ill and ready to die give up easily to the raptor of death, for some it comes too soon, not ready God, PLEASE!! Your poem carries the intent strongly, using a conversation with God, simply stated really but strong in the intent. Just my two cents worth, for being ill, with hopes of getting back to a stabilized routine of life, I'm not ready either, I believe that this conversation could well be my last conversational tone also. Great job...honestly. Best...always Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-01-21 02:08:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
brought a smile to my heart for I have been there, done that and felt the breath of God as He kissed my cheek.......are we having the conversation with God? Certainly sounds that way to me..... Time's up. So soon? Yes. Now? Come. Why? Necessity. Where? Elsewhere. I'm not ready!! No choice here. Please!! Please come now. Oh G-d!!! Yes......... Do you know or are you wondering if they do announce that Time is up........and would I respond so soon? I laid dying on the floor between my bedroom and bath and the thought that passed through my mind was......if this is what it is like to die then it is okay.......peace, love, joy, calming emotions and no fear........then I got up and went back to bed knowing I was not heart surgery saved my life with a new aortic valve and triple by pass but in reality my friend it is all His glory that was there with me ...... I'm not ready..........No choice here........ Please come now......oh God.......Yes............. Quite enjoyable my friend.....your words bring forth images of the two having this conversation as they walk one food for thought in that you should always be ready to take that last trip.....for one does not know....... Thaks for posting, sharing with safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-01-10 21:01:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Paul, This poem especially touched my heart tonight. I have an older sister, but not that old, she's 55, a cardiac nurse who lives in Florida who is battling cancer. Anyway, she is normally very strong - and today she had a bone marrow test and said she absolutely panicked - and then cried - during the test for the shear reality of the end being in possible sight had consumed her. She's not critical yet, but is very sick on a daily basis. This poem - just jumped out at me - and at her experience today - She's not ready, and by the grace of God and a miracle I pray that she gets through this in peace. Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-01-08 13:37:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul--This is the type of poetry I like: brief, concise and terse. For whatever reason it reminds me of James Weldon Johnson's "Go Down Death," which is longer, but very much these same sentiments. And, yours, IMO is just as emphatic. Thanks for this unique post. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-01-07 09:27:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul, there is a whimsical feel to this piece. I can almost hear the broken arm of a naturalist arm wrestling the aged weakness of life. When We Die Time's up. - . “Times up”, I have often thought about that, and what my response would be. Although I have my response set, I wonder if I will have the notion to notice at the time. So soon? – Always too soon for me. That, to this day, though I’m not going yet, (I think) pisses me the hell off!! Yes. Now? Come. Why? Necessity. – Oddly, it was “built in obsolescence” that caused the American manufacturing machine to lose out to Europe and Asia. It was only after we changed our “make the buy again” mentality that we gained, again, our portion. I wonder if somehow, … no, I just don’t think he will, and if he does, well… I’m an older model – upgrade is almost always more expensive than buying new!! Where? Elsewhere. – Well said, and I hope so!! I'm not ready!! – Maybe I will be one day, but I don’t think it will happen. I’m too in love with the beauty of this world, and living, but who knows… No choice here. Please!! Please come now. Oh G-d!!! Yes......... – This, I find is curious, I almost feel like Hezekiah when Isaiah came to him and promised another fifteen years after being told by Isaiah that he will die. Then again, I feel like this is God saying “what is it now?”!! A splendid, deep poem, in a whimsical manner.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-06 11:23:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I can see the grim ripper coming along sickle in skeletal hand to cut the thread of life of course he could just use a feather and tickle the soul free from its earthly bounds that way we go with a smile, Thanks for letting me read and comment.
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