Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-04-20 16:56:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

A Bird in a Pear Tree

In the city: A Rhode Island Red rooster, feathers glistening in the sun, red, black, and shimmer green, crowed. Telling of his presence. He crowed loud and he crowed long, at dawn and on… What a sight to be seen! He had come from his nearby abode. Pen opened and he hit the road. He flew hard and he traveled fast… as if his very life was at steak. [chicken] Arriving here with great squawking flourish. Hiding upon my fence, nestled beside the pear tree. Any attempts to be captured moved him upward. Higher and higher skyward, watching, looking from the inside out to see, who was searching after he. Futile went all the efforts to catch him. The bird had landed! I say, the rooster may stay till he goes away!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-05-05 08:57:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97143
Hi, Dellena Clever play on words subing a rooster for a partridge in the poem! Bird in a Pear Tree A Rhode Island Red rooster, feathers glistening in the sun, red, black, and shimmer green, crowed. Telling of his presence. He crowed [loudly] and he crowed long, at dawn and on… I like the rythm of - at dawn and long What a sight to be seen! He had come from his nearby abode. Pen opened and he hit the road. He flew hard and he traveled fast… [good internal rhyme and nice pregresion of hte narrative[ as if his very life was at steak. [chicken][ohhhhhh ...cute!} Arriving here with [a] great squawking flourish. Hiding upon my fence, nestled beside the pear tree. Any attempts [at capture] moved him upward. Higher and higher skyward, watching, looking from the inside out to see, who was searching after ["him" sorry I know it spoils te rhyme] Futile [were] all the efforts to catch him. The bird had landed! I say, the rooster may stay till he goes away! briliant sardonic ending to a clever poem - Thanks Dellena!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-04-30 23:33:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.26087
What a fun poem. It rolled of my tongue, such fantastic rythm. I loved the (chicken). A small suggestion: to change 'till' in the final line to 'until' (only for the purpose of the flow) Either way nice work. Thanks for posting- Audrey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-04-25 12:24:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Dellena, this is as delightful as any piece I have read in years. The story itself keeps one reading, but beyond that each reference is impeccable within the poem!! You “by name” told us where the Rooster was from, (except a Rhode Island Red Rooster is actually a type of rooster), but you did not identify the city for which he flew, leaving us all to place him in the city of choice, for a romp in the pear tree. We can of course take the roosters leaving and arriving points and place them anywhere we wish, and there is the “playfulness” of this verse. In your first stanza, you portray the “character” or roosters, and particularly the “pride” that this particular rooster takes in himself. We feel we know him, - excellent – “and he crowed long, at dawn and on…” wonderful bellicose sounds!! You use and reuse such great colloquialisms: “He flew hard and he traveled fast” “as if his very life was at steak. [chicken]” – wonderful play on words “squawking flourish” – absolutely stunning!! “nestled beside the pear tree” – not a partridge, but a rooster will do!! “Higher and higher skyward” – wonderful assonance “The bird had landed” – not an eagle, but a rooster will do!! “the rooster may stay- till he goes away” – great ending rhyme. Dellena, this is a keeper, as good a piece in this genre as I have ever read!! Great!!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-04-24 09:49:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Dellena, First of all, how are you doing? It's been awhile since we talked. I noticed last month that you posted a poem and took it back off the list, or at least it disappeared from mine. I just didn't get to it in time, I guess. If I remember, it was pretty straight forward and a little painful? Secondly, the vacation was a success. I was so tired when I got home I took a
hour nap. LOL! Thanks for the advice BTW. I will try to post a trip report in the forum. Ok, I got a hot tip on this poem last night in the forum so I had to come and see for myself this proud rooster in the tree. Now, please don't laugh at me, but I think this is so romantic. In fact, I think it's one of the most romantic and humorous poems I've read in a long while. How like the male is this rooster, running "hell bent for election", crowing as he goes. And the woman symbolized by the pear tree, fertile and embracing. Just humor me in this line of thought a little longer. This rooster can't be caught, but he will remain until he goes away, if he's not chased. The ironic thing is that he, if I've read this correctly, is resting in the tree and is in a sense already "captured". What a great relationship this rooster and pear tree have. It's almost a mutual understanding of what they are in this poem. This poem is well written, full of movement, a sense of humor, romance and love (at least for me) and ends with the unanswered question of "how long will this rooster stay in the tree". Ok, ok, now that I've read way to much into this, let me tell you that those big red roosters can be kind of nasty. When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time on the farm, my grandfather had a red rooster that didn't like me very much and would jump me at the slightest provocation. LOL. Like, if I came anywhere near him, he was immediately offended. Eventually he was turned into soup. The Polish roosters, the ones with the big feathered heads, never gave me any problems, but then I'm part Polish, go figure. I really enjoyed this slice of life. It was perfect for this windy, cold Wisconsin morning. I hope the rooster is still hanging out in your pear tree, but don't turn your back on him. Have a great day, Troy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-04-21 12:37:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.65000
Hi Dellena! Title: A Bird in a Pear Tree I can’t tell right away if this poem is an extended metaphor, which I rather suspect, or an actual event. In either case, I heartily enjoyed it. Birds are a favorite species for me, and in this case, the spunky rooster stands out with his ‘tude of “loud” and his “sight to be seen.” I really love the pun of “his very life was at steak.” [chicken] Funny! What a sight to be seen! He had come from his nearby abode. Pen opened and he hit the road. He flew hard and he traveled fast… And terrific internal rhymes of “abode/road” as well. “Arriving here with great squawking flourish. Hiding upon my fence, nestled beside the pear tree.” He announced his presence, but hid on your fence! I am tempted to take time out for a chicken story. Are you up for that? <smile> As a small child it was often my task to take the eggs from under the hens in the chicken house. This I did not mind, as they didn’t object too much, and their cackles seemed almost friendly. But what I dreaded, and quickly learned to out run, was the farm’s resident rooster. He ‘minded’ very much that I took his probable progeny and chased me with frightening speed. I ran as fast as my four-year-old legs could carry me and into the green house, slamming the door after myself. He stood on the outside, looking at me with that menacing eye that chickens can sometimes display. And he came at me with what you have written of with such accuracy: “A great squawking flourish.” There are humans who, resplendent in fine garments, announce their arrival upon the scene. Sometimes we do not know how to react for a while, until such time as trust can be established. Any attempts to be captured moved him upward. --hilarious Higher and higher skyward, watching, looking from the inside out to see, who was searching after “he.” –rhymes with “see” and adds to the humor of the piece Futile went all the efforts to catch him. The bird had landed! I say, the rooster may stay till he goes away! “The bird had landed” reminds me of the title, “The Eagle Has Landed” a movie about a group of German aviators hoping to kidnap Churchill to give Germany more bargaining power at the end of World War II in a peace treaty, if I remember right. Now I’m not so certain that this poem is about a real live rooster, or about a famous figure in the recent newscasts of German ancestry. Confusion is my normal state of mind, however. In any case, I thank you for the chance to comment on this very engaging poem. Best wishes for the April contest! Kudos! Best always, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-04-21 10:15:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40909
Hi Dellena, I don't think I have ever seen a Rhode Island Rooster but your description of one in your first stanza is perfect and I could view him through your written words...'feathers glistening in the sun red, black, and shimmer green'....'he crowed loud and he crowed long at dawn and on...what a sight to be seen'... good internal rhyme (my favorite) green/seen dawn/on...'pen opened and hit the road'...I am not sure what a 'pen' is...more wonderful internal rhyme....abode/road. In the 3rd stanza I love...'arriving here with great squawking flourish.' Great visual in 'hiding upon my fence, nestled beside the pear tree'...'higher and higher skyward, watching, looking from the inside out to see, was searching after he. (he and see good rhyme but I wonder if you meant 'him' instead of 'he'. Your ending of this entertaining piece is just as great as the beginning! Good job...the entire piece gave me a lift this morning! Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-04-21 00:46:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.08333
Adorably written/presented my friend.....you see I have a Rooster, Big Jake is his name and he loves to crow 24/7.......Henrietta is a Rhode Island Red and she is beautiful unless Big Jake had his way with her, then she is a bit sad looking........The words chosen provide for great images to appear, feathers glistening in the sun, red and black.....indeed the mixture of color is there and yes, they do shine in the sunshine of the day......morning , noon or early evening, Henrietta is a beauty to behold...... Had to chuckle at how far and fast your rooster flew though....you see Big Jake got out once or twice and as hard as I tried to catch him he got away, not by flying high or fast but by running those feet of his off the ground.......he would jump onto the top of the building and crow awhile but eventually, left alone, he resumed the role inside the coup.......safety he knew waited within, along with food and water...hehehe...... Perhaps by now you have adopted the Rooster........they are so much fun to have around....especially here in the country though I have seen some on the loose roosters in the city too. Thanks for posting, sharing this excitement and I hope he does not make chicken dumplings off the dinner menu. God Bless, Claire

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!