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This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-06-21 15:40:08 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Pickin

I picked an apple from the tree. Or did the apple tree pick me? As I was passing by the tree did he reach out and touch on me? With attributes that I don't see did he communicate with me? Do you suppose that he can see that I'm aware he spoke to me? I think others may know and see? Does a bee relate with a tree? I'm sure the bees awake to me! Who else senses my bee and tree? Do birds on high see as I see do they have rapport with my tree? Most cats hug limbs from what I see. Everything seems to love my tree. I say beast and birds, bees and trees they seem to be, the same as me...……

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-06-25 23:48:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42105
Dellena, This is a refreshing piece that flows so fluidly and liltingly. Poignantly written what seems effortlessly. The rhyme works well and i think it rather crafty to use the same sound throughout. The images are vibrant and i like the characterization of the tree..."With attributes that I don't see" i love this line! Trees are such awesome creations that hold so much life and learning for me. I will keep this poem nearby, i love it! Thank you for posting it and sharing it with us here. Mandie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-25 05:17:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
In God's world my friend we are all the same, whether we are man, woman, child, we are one of His children and so are the animals and other little creatures He so created for this world........love the picture of the apple tree, the bees, the birds and even the beast for there are many beast in life that we have to face and hope you know you are never alone facing any of them.....He is always with you as you walk this way and that......good structure, word flow, images and emotions love the questions it brings for forth too and makes you stop and think about things.......thanks for posting, sharing with us, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-22 16:35:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.48837
Dellena, What a delightful tongue twisting mind electrifying piece. Reminds me a bit of the "tree falling in the forest and sound" theory. I'm a believer, the tree and all around hear you and know what you are saying, one never really knows who does the picking, I like to think that is done by forces beyond earthly dominion, we just need to be open so we can truly see and hear the wonders about us. Your offering is well structured and the rhyming is great, thank you for a break in an otherwise hectic afternoon. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-06-22 07:19:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96000
Hi Dellena, It's 6 p.m in the evening and I've just returned home from an exhausting day at work. A fine poem involving nature and the abstract is as welcoming as a welcome can get. This poem digs a lot deeper than its visible simplicity. Beyond the bubbly rhyme scheme and the mention of trees, birds, cats and bees, lies a very interesting and thought provoking and spiritual theme - the communion of nature with nature; the communion of man with nature. You have tapped into a higher plain of thought as you question subconscious communications and identifications. Interesting first two lines that set the tone for the rest to follow. Did you pick the apple or did the apple tree pick you? We may never realise it but in nature's scheme of things, we are all interconnected and each of us affects or influences the other directly or inversely. It's natural law that we influence our surroundings and our surroundings influence us and somewhere on a higher frequency there is an exchange of energy between one and the other (be it between tree and you, bee and tree, or cat and limb). This exchange is so subtle that we never feel or realise it. Nevertheless, on morning walks or natural excursions, this ability for nature to communicate with us is increasingly evident. The communication is very often in the form of healing, refreshment, stress relief, etc. 'As I was passing by the tree, did he reach out and touch on me?' With attributes that I don't see, did he communicate with me? Do you suppose that he can see, that I'm aware he spoke to me?---this basically sums up my point about a communication on a higher frequency that is elevated above the levels of consciousness. In verses 3 and 4, you expand the proximity between you and your tree to include the bees, birds and even a cat, thereby highlighting a greater commune with nature. This is evident (for example) from the fact that migratory birds sense the time for migration. They don't have clocks. They have senses that are finally tuned to the vibes of nature. Their is a time-bound understanding between the two. It was the same with pre-historic man until he advanced and lost his ability to rely solely on the natural world around him. In many ways, it all boils down to instinct. What I also gleaned from verse 3 and 4 was the manner in which you tied-in the birds, bees, cat and yourself to the tree. Infact the entire poem revolves around your apple tree. This is very important to the central theme of the poem because trees are in essence, life givers. if it weren't for their productions of oxygen, we would not have been born, neither the birds, nor the bees or anything that moves on this earth and has life. This is an important point you make in the simplicity of just 8 lines!! Sadly, these bearers of life's ecological balance are taken for granted. In the last two lines of the poem, you draw a likeness between nature and you. We are all one substance, tied-in to one another, instinctively and sub-consciously in communion with the other... Hmmmm!! This was deep and really brings out the thoughts of the reader when he/she reads through. The rhyme scheme gave this a nice upbeat musical tempo and helped dart the questions...like a rapid-fire. Keep writing, Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-06-21 22:28:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Dellena, Sounds like you’ve been awful busy with that tree of yours again! Are the apples ripe where you are from, cause you can’t even see them in Wisconsin. I picked an apple from the tree. Or did the apple tree pick me? I think this is a pretty cool question to ask. Depending on your philosophy, really, this could go either way. For me I just pick apples and don’t think about it this much, because it hurts. LOL! I also see something very romantic in all of this, but I won’t go there. I’m trying to keep it simple this month. Back to the question at hand. Is it possible that the tree or all life is somehow interconnected and trying to bridge the communication gap that is so evident, because of our differences? Or, is it that we are just not sensitive enough to hear or understand the different forms of communication that are all around us? I don’t know, but I do feel connected to the "All", so to speak. It sometimes feels like we are not as in charge of all of these things around us as we think we are. In fact, when you start thinking that way you open yourself up to a whole host of new questions and can even scare yourself in some ways. Ok, so now I typed a bunch of words with no answers that means almost nothing. You see what questions, such as this, do to a person? Let me end this paragraph by saying that I think it’s really, really cool that you asked! As I was passing by the tree did he reach out and touch on me? I walk in the woods often and feel like the forest is more than an almost inert life form around me. It is as is the trees are imparting to us something. I mean, why would I feel like walking in the woods if this were not the case. I know, it’s peaceful and holds a beauty, but couldn’t that be part of it’s communication, as well as a “something” else that calls us back. And why is it that I spend a whole bunch of money on plants every year? Is it just because I want to see them blossom, or are we communicating on a “feel” or “gut” level that I don’t fully comprehend? Does this leave me wanting to order and buy more? No, I believe that their is some kind of symbiotic relationship between us and other life forms. Just can’t articulate it. Anyone who’s ever transplanted or grown anything understands this—somehow. This unspoken, felt language. With attributes that I don't see did he communicate with me? Do you suppose that he can see that I'm aware he spoke to me? Hehe, now that’s a good question. That’s really neat. I think others may know and see? Does a bee relate with a tree? I'm sure the bees awake to me! Who else senses my bee and tree? Do birds on high see as I see do they have rapport with my tree? Most cats hug limbs from what I see. Everything seems to love my tree. I say beast and birds, bees and trees they seem to be, the same as me...…… I love the way you extend and include in this relationship everything from bees to cats to birds, etc.... Yes, some sort of interconnected community we live in. Everything as life and life is connected. I wish I had forever to live just to spend a thousand years studying this principal you illustrate for us here. Fun poem, smart writing, leaves me smiling and feeling guilty for pulling out all those “weeds” earlier tonight. Bravo!! If we don’t get a chance to talk more this month. I just want to say that I support your vision for writing. You have a way of writing things that’s original and your own. Thanks, Troy p.s. My wicked sense of humor told me to say that if that tree would have pinched you in the hinder you sure would have known it. LOL!! Have a good night.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-06-21 18:12:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Dear Dellena, This poem is very light hearted, with an unusual rhyming scheme - that seems to work from beginning to end. It is will filled with imagination also. The comparison of unanimated things to others that are not, exceeds in imagery as well as content. The reader can follow the story, see it and use their imagination to complete the tale. All in all I enjoyed this clever upbeat post. Sincerely, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-06-21 18:06:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
great - you got rid of just about all the glitches and now it flows like the great learian - carrolian piece it is -- well 'cept " "touch on" me is still a little odd - hmm lesseee did he reach out and hit on me ...naaa did he branch out and point to me ....naaa did he reach out a branch to me? [maybe] did he reach out and beckon me? i dunno fondle me [no!} anyway - just some suggestions if you decide to change it great lilting piece!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-06-21 16:14:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Dellena: Wow! This poem is as dazzling as the thunderstorm with blue lightning that’s going on right outside my window!! I was going to sign off, but decided to be brave. I picked an apple from the tree. Or did the apple tree pick me? As I was passing by the tree did he reach out and touch on me? That subtle communication from one being to another- as plants are beings with different senses than those we possess - is touched upon here - lightly. "Light-ly" Your poem is your thought child. I join with those who have told you already that it is good, very very good. I love "did the apple tree pick me" - as we don't know in our exchanges with plant and animal life the ‘who’ or the ‘what’ that is expressing choice, will or super sentience with which the universe is filled. I think we talked lot about some of these ideas around Brian Swimme’s books. I may have it mixed up but this is my take. :) With attributes that I don't see did he communicate with me? Do you suppose that he can see that I'm aware that he told me? I love this! My daughter once said to me, "Mom, think of the senses we don't have!" "attributes that I don't see" honors the spirit creating the tree and the being that is the tree. The unconscious could have picked up on the tree telling you -- maybe that is what this poem is about. I think, along with Rick Barnes, that a poem IS. It has a right to its own existence. Doesn’t mean we can’t revise, since we give birth to it in the first place. The poem itself may be a doorway into a different type of understanding for you as well as the reader. Do you think he knows of me? Do you think a bee knows the tree? Also perhaps the bee knows me. Who else knows of my bee and tree? I wish I could remember who wrote this or where I read it, about the tree being 'one being' with insects and small animals around it. Very likely that the "bee knows the tree"! Dellena, this is a brilliant, thought- provoking poem. I love it. Do birds on high see as I see do they have rapport with my tree? Cats hug limbs from what I see. Everything seems to love my tree. We don't know what birds see - you show that clearly. In light verse, with a playful spirit. "Everything seems to love my tree." Everything, you show, seems to love everything else. Except perhaps at times, we humans. At our worst. The universe works together in vast love. My granddaughter Bea would adore this poem -- she sees everything this way. I am going to email it to her. I see birds and beast, bees and trees They are all exactly as me…… What a profound statement you make here. This is a spiritually uplifting and engaging poem. We are the same beings, are we not? You are the one who can write about all of us. I hold this poem and its author in highest esteem. I am especially fond of birds and bees, anyway, and of course, the trees. And cats. And apples. Speaking of apples, I have to take a berry pie out of the oven. Wish I could extend the olfactory imagery to you. <smile> Then, I have to wait for it to cool. Ah, patience! Hugs, Joanne

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