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This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-11-19 01:32:27 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Spin Cycle

Scattered petals float On thoughts turbulent waters Flowers of my mind Withdrawal from life Catatonic solitude Welcoming me back A waypoint reached Resplendent from the ashes New paths open Ulcer rated mouth By cure for the psychosis Small price of respite

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-12-01 15:51:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Stephen, Scattered petals float On thoughts turbulent waters Flowers of my mind good.......different/but you don't mention flowers again? Withdrawal from life Catatonic solitude Welcoming me back............how does being catatonic, bring you back? A waypoint reached Resplendent from the ashes New paths open.........the phoenix rising Ulcer rated mouth .........ulcerated By cure for the psychosis..........cure? Small price of respite...... I overall feel depression [done that!] withdrawing now myself! How or what made it go? Respite from life? or from sadness? You got me a bit stumped. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-11-25 15:49:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Steve, Hope you are on the mend, sorry I took so long to get to this, but- I'm here now...*smile*. Spin Cycle [stirs the curiostiy factor, great] Scattered petals float On thoughts turbulent waters Flowers of my mind [wow, I love the verbiage, the alliteration, nice imagery created] Withdrawal from life Catatonic solitude Welcoming me back [perhaps, this is the hardest for some to understand, but yes--definitely can be welcoming, a chance to regroup, ground and become centered--to make that full circle to bring us back to us] A waypoint reached Resplendent from the ashes New paths open [gained only by sweet catatonic solitude, our repose, then the spark that ignites us and like the pheonix- rise again as always we must] Ulcer rated mouth By cure for the psychosis Small price of respite [meds will do that, as you say- small price to pay, but this to will pass] You've done a wonderful job at discribing this event, I have to wonder why others always want to classify these as an illness. Perhaps, it is just a lack of understanding and in not having first hand knowledge about an event they need to catatgorize or label it so they do not feel their own insecurities. I've diverged enough, I really like this one and am going to keep it in my collectibles. IMHO, it is well thought out, well structured and an easy read, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for sharing this, I applaud your courage and honesty. Warmest always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-11-20 16:40:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Stephen, when speaking of a cure, it always brings me back to myself, and the fact that I am a Poet. I read through this several times, and wonder if in actuality, that is the malady you speak of. “Scattered Petals”/”Turbulent waters”/Flowers of my mind – all of these images are of what is happening internally, as one thinks, or tries to cope. Some contain images that seem to trace a larger latitude for thought itself, beyond the norm. “Withdrawal”/ “Catatonic”/ Welcoming – I have spent so much time in the context of this stanza, of love and lost love, of need and fulfillment, of fulfillment- yearning for the power of the darkness. A well structured image. “New Paths Open” – described in the “waypoint reached”, and that (do we later learn of chemical redemption) those new paths of relief from the struggle, of newness, of a way to circumvent the difficulties of “in”. “Ulcer rated life” – sounds like an indictment on speech, I don’t believe you mean a physical malady- rather a “cure” that carries a cost. “psychosis”, “small price for respite”, and the total reasoning of the mind. As I have seen, there is a rationale, but beyond being a poet, a poet would understand most.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-11-19 13:36:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
I am happy to read that your new medication is working. It does open up new paths as you have written.Like the Phoenix you will rise again. I'm not too sure of the second to last line...it doesn't read right...I mean the word "by"...can you use something else? BTW, I only passed through your city on the way to Shakespeare's place.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-11-19 11:32:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve, You have certainly taken your writing to a new level and in a good way. Whenever someone endures a catastrophic event they tend to back to that place, at times, and poets will always write about it It is obvious to me that you have raised yourself up out of the abyss of grief and are moving on with your life, but even so Paula and the loss of her will always be with you. But now you have found new happiness and that is a joy to all of us that know you. This is a lovely poem because, to me, it shows strength and emergence from the soulful place where you lived for a long time. Very well done! Peace...Marilyn

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