This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2006-03-20 19:31:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Touch Me

Into my thoughts at night you soflty emerge I see you in my wildest dreams Your bronze tan reflecting in the moonlight As I felt the surf flowing through your hair  Like a heartbeat I touched you gently in the heat of passion Caressing your body out of reach I heard you whisper  Reach out and touch me Ah! those warm and wild nights on the beach It still brings a smile to me now and then Remembering when you made me crazy Remembering when I made you scream Living in a dream,existing for but a moment Nights of dreams,so real it seems- Surreal I can hear you whisper Reach out and touch me Nights of passion and dissolution Days of fear and delight Love as hot as the sun My fingers are still burning from the last time The air around us electrified As the pounding of the surf muffles our moans I still hear you whisper  Reach out and touch me Hold me touch me don`t let me go Dreams are forever ,never to end Tonight let`s whisper and write in the sand Reach out and touch me Reach out and touch me

Copyright © March 2006 Michael Bird

Additional Notes:
new revision ,thanks for the ideas and critiques

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-07 07:09:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69565
Definately lyrical with the refrain a well balanced refrain. Passion by the sea but my only question is can you show it when the sound subsides, and the light disappears. I do like this for your words show the depth of the moment yet I would like you to be engulfed ignoring the surrounding. Just a thought for a well written piece. Thanks for sharing like always. You have been around for a long time also Michael and it is sad for us to lose people like Mel and Joanne within the last 6 months. Hope all is well with you. Thanks. Thomas.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-04-01 12:15:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57895
Wow. Wildly sensual. Brings me back a few years when I did the same. Thanks for the memories. One thing I can suggest is to take out the word "As". You used it in a couple of places...not needed and is distracting.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-03-30 08:59:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Michael, This is beautiful! It wraps you in a warm blanket of sensuous feelings, and strong raw emotions! Love the descriptiveness of it. I'm a big fan of imagery, and you more than satisfied that craving here! Your imagery is absolutely stunning. Such wondrous pictures you create in our minds with this well written peice of word art. I especially like how you differed each refrain, just the tiniest bit, so as not to be redundant. It works perfectly. The refrains also maintain the sensuality, as well. One is not released from that effect until long after we have read this. *grin* The constant "presence" of a loved one is felt throughout this, as well. We keep them near always, if only in our dreams... Wonderfully done. It has such a smooth flow, as well. The words seemingly carressing us as we delve into it's depths. And, the last line... Almost pleading... What a great wrap! I so enjoyed this, Michael. I have read, and re-read several times. A wonderful start to my day. I look forward to more of your work! Thanks for sharing this wonderful peice with us, my friend. Bravo! Always, Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-03-26 15:07:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Michael, Wow, pretty hot! Hope it's not all dreaming and some of your wishes fulfilled. This is very stimulative. It makes me remember some explosive times. Reach out and touch me, works quite well repeating. [surprisingly] Writing of love in the sand is nice. crazy, screams, moans,whispers, touching..........oh my. Cold shower here. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-03-20 19:53:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Michael, I really like this version by far over your original. This has more flow, gives more insight of what your speaking, nice metaphors. This, I could read without hesitation, and now I'll head for a cold shower. Very sensual, filled with compassion. Thank you for re-posting, much better this time. As always, Lora
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