This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-07-15 12:06:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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My Lady Crimson toes it goes to give away
what sculptured contours and
Tortured plucking and dieting may.
A cross to bear in diffidence,
statuesque at best
Perverse at worst, stoic to tantrum
sometimes.
No sunset setting, no tide bearing
brings to shore more giving
She all manner of form in seeing.
The sleek of sail to ride of wave
and peak to the moon til dawn
Still naught to compare with
that knowing stare
And the grace in the arch of a back. |
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Copyright © July 2007 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-07 10:32:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
James,
You have a similar presentation as someone I have seen in the past at this site his name was Joe and he was a photographer. You both have a unique style in presenting love poems and those that relate to passion from within. This is difficult for most writers but you seem to have an ability to show it so well.
I liked this piece for you show desire.
Thanks for sharing, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-08-05 20:02:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Always I walk forward with excitement and a bit of trepidation to speak to your verse. In this piece there is as much beauty hidden in objectivity as you grant us in description. I don’t normally treat you so cavalierly, but today, I shall- though I cannot be critical of line or head sail;
Your title – “My Lady†sets us up for honor and chivalry- or ball rooms filled with dancers while lovers glance across the room. The title sets up the reader for something special- and for me you granted the cure.
The “lady†who prepares for love, for the adventure of romance, painting nails and the fluid form- your alliteration in stanza one is exquisite. Unlike any other stanza- when speaking of the physical attraction- you also use a perfect end rhyme. It must be noted, this is the only time you use such; a metaphor for the female form, in and of itself.
Stanza two, we meet the lady- a bit shy, with proper manners and etiquette, who can, at the proper time- become vamp like and appealing; or calculating and stormy. With the first stanza; this is a woman to censure or secure the man.
Your metaphor in the third stanza; of a woman always there- beautiful and faithful (sunset and tide); bring life to those she touches. The binding of her character matches the marble of her form.
The sharing of love, love making only accentuates the beauty of the vessel; stanza four leaves one with “grace in the arch of backâ€; and somehow, come to know her. I believe you. Fortune smiles, and fortune is best found in “that knowing stareâ€
So James, that is where you took me, and a fine vision it was. My Lady, whether schooner or damsel- I leave better at having known her.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-02 07:35:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78261
Well poet you have me turning in a few directions as I am flooded with memories from when my husband served in the US Coast Guard and how he and others on ship would talk about their LADY........indeed a ship can be just as sweet and loving if well cared for as a woman and rough and tough when need be too. Love the sea , love the thought of comparing the ship and a woman and riding the high seas. Well worth the read and well worth entry into this months contest. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-07-26 03:19:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi,
I see man with both love and devotion, a man who appreciates all the efforts a woman shall
make to continually capture his eye. This poem is beautiful and reads smooth as silk.
Great poem, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-07-22 17:04:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James,
This one took me in many different directions. I could visualize the sea, a sailing vessel, what a lady a ship can be and just the reverse if she so desires. I've heard many a sea fareing soul speak of their ships as you've spoken of a lady in this write however; the wonderful art of Vargas was brought to mind with your delicious descriptions so I ended in a quandry. Whether it be sea, ship or woman they've been equally and wonderfully portrayed by your write and I enjoyed it very much.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-07-19 14:20:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi JCH....Hummmm...I wondered what you were doing with your time as you have been fairly silent of late! I see that you may be smitten or this poem is a metaphor for something more profound than my critiquing ability allows. The entire piece is sensual and quite intriguing. You have created lovely images of this phantom lady. "The sleek of sail to ride of wave and peak to the moon til (till?) dawn" is downright sexy! I enjoyed this....very well done.
Maarilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-07-18 17:14:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH
Ok, she paints her toes...diets.....plucks...is not confident...statuesque.......has tantrums
but gives....and enjoys sex!'
This is it?
Intelligence/charm/goodness/helpfulness/loyalty-fidelity/and more......all more important!
Of course for a one nighter one doesn't expect any more.
Now lets start on men......male chauvenist pigs!
With all their graces in the arch of their back!
I'm giving you a hard time!
Dellena
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