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Friday Night at the Pub
It`s six o`clock on a Friday The regulars are slowly coming in My friends are sitting all around me Makin love to their tonic and beer We started talking `bout memories And of poetry and prose We wern`t sure of how it all goes It was sad,it was sweet,and nearly complete, The words nearly swept us off our feet George the bartender suddenly shouts Mike, write us a song, you`re the poetry man Write us a song tonight We`re all in the mood for a melody Your words will make us feel allright La La Da, Dee Dee Da La La Dee Dee Da Bruce at the bar is a freind of mine He gets my drinks for free He`s quick with a joke,or to call ya a bloke Flying ,he`d rather be He says Mike,You know this is killing me As the smile quickly left his face I`m sure I could be Top Gun or an Ace If I could only get out of this place Bob is a Psychiatrist And has been most of his life He`s talking with Stinson Who`s going to prison And, probaly for life La La Da Dee Dee Da Jill is our Hostess Who always serves us with a smile She goes the extra mile To get us our tonic and gin Sometimes we share a drink called loniness But ya know ,its better than drinkin alone It`s a really nice crowd for a friday Jill our hostess Brought us another round We all raise our glass and give a toast To Michael!, To beer !, And our gin! And all the patrons at the pub join in With a smile To forget life for awhile And sing La La Da Dee Dee Da La La Dee Dee Da Now the pub sounds like a carnival And everything smells like a beer We are all in the mood for a melody And sayin Man,what are ya doin here? Gregor lives near the shore He`s been here since four Nowhere He`d rather be Jerry just left the Navy He`s lookin for Davy Who owes him sixpence and a beer And Eika Who mines all the mica Kicks off his shoes And listens for news Write us a song you`re the poetry man Write us a song tonight We`re all in the mood for a melody And your words will make us feel allright It`s nearly midnight Time to call it a night `Cause we`re feeling allright And say see ya next Friday night Bruce will take flight Bob will listen some more Gregor goes back to the shore Jerry`s still looking for Davy And Jill our hostess Goes home to her room Singing La La Da Dee Dee Da.......
I was listening to Billy Joel`s "Piano Man" at the local bar with some friends and put them both together and this is the result
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-04 18:21:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Oct. 4, 2007 "Friday Night At The Pub" Michael, I really do not know what I want to say about this poem of yours. Strange theme for starters. I believe you could do a better job of selecting a theme to write about. You have painted vivid images of the weekly bar scene, that chronicle the after work place of drink and chat just about anywhere. I've been there and done that. I mean to say, your poem leaves me with little artistic stimulation, when it comes to its literary value. I believe the request was a song, or poem for them, not about them. It has the sounds and tone of British influence, are you an Englander? You have done a good job in writing the Friday night bar-diary, provoked by selfish friends. I challenge you to write me a poem that lives up to your skills as a poet, I will be looking for it soon. Best regards, Paul
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