This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-02-25 00:45:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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You Will Shine - Repost It goes by to quickly
To be left undefined
If you feel it in your heart
And see it in your mind
Make it yours to hold
Inside of your being
Don’t deny it’s for you
It’s so worth seeing
Inner stars cannot fade
If you let them shine bright
Your gift should be unwrapped
And brought out to the light
God speaks through your soul
His voice is still strong –
Truly you can see the miracle
You’ve hidden for so long
It goes by to quickly
To be left undefined
If you know you can do it
Then start now and you’ll shine. |
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Copyright © February 2008 DeniMari Z.
Additional Notes:
Repost - Yes a typo.......one tiny little t.....makes all the difference
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-03-03 21:20:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
DeniMari,
I hope your doing ok after such great loss. It's good to hear your voice.
I feel this poem is also a reminder to you also, that God is with us no matter.
I believe with God's spirit you will shine again.
Glad you are keepin on!
Blessings
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-02-28 14:56:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Deni....I really like this poem, typo and all! It is so uplifting with a message we should all heed. Your rhyme scheme is right on and the piece has a good flow that just slides down the page like liquid. I especially like...God speaks through your soul, His voice is still strong....We all seem to have busy lives and sometimes forget He is always there for us no matter what we do. I am certain your faith has carried you through some very difficult times in your life. I hope you are beginning to heal. Good poem....well done.
Blesings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-02-25 14:58:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni,
Nice easy read with lyrical meter in your sutble rime scheme. Good to see you...no nits.
Best
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-02-25 10:51:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari,
I see the typo as an "o," not a "t" as mentioned in the note - as in the missing "o" in the "to[o]" of the first line of the poem, and the first line of the last stanza.
A nice play between the "undefined" quality of the essence and the human will that acts to "hold" it nonetheless.
The poem has a buoyant, positive message of inner rebirth. The quatrains and ballad style are well-selected. A bit of metrical choppiness in spots.
Again, wonderful message, appropriate form, though not superbly executed. A poem of existing value, and great potential.
So great to see you posting again, DeniMari.
MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-02-25 09:05:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nice easy read to your work Deni......good rhyme, much food for thought as well.......images and emotions abound...always enjoy you work........God Bless, Claire
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