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This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2008-03-02 19:32:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Reflections

You took my love Turned it around Climbed a mountain When you were homeward bound Well now, I`ve been afraid of changes When life sometimes makes you bolder I saw my reflections In a mirror colored sky I`m getting older Even children get older But I`m getting older still I built my life around you Like a bird in flight Taken by the wind When I saw my reflection In a mirror colored sky I`m getting older still Reflections of what I had And what I lost The dreams that wrap around All of the memories When I saw my reflection In the mirror colored sky

Additional Notes:
Was listening to Stevie Nicks,and thinking of my life,and wrote this

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-03-08 23:32:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Reflections, good title for this one. Nice read, lots of images created with the flow of your words, mirror colored sky....the opening tells me you speak of the loss of someone you dearly loved and still do......the loss is so deep that you are frightened to move on perhaps fearing more losses along the way......we all get older, day by day and yes before we realize it the gray is here to stay along with the aches and pains of our age. You and I both know your wife would not want you to stay where you are she above all would want you to live life to the fullest ...remember Michael today is the first day of the rest of your life and only you can make it what you want........thanks for the read, the food for thought which brought forth reflections of my own. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-03-08 22:38:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Michael, i like stevie nicks too....there is a lot of reflection in this piece..a journey backwards as we move forward (in age). i like 'mirror colored' sky....however, it would be good to have more images and to structure the rhythm a little more to enhance the flow....nevertheless, you communicated your feelings, which is what poetry should do... Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2008-03-03 01:36:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Michael, The images - 'When I saw my reflection' 'In a mirror colored sky' are wonderful, and repeated with "I'm getting older still"; lend a certain poetic grandness to this poem. The repetition does give it a slight backdrop of music, also poignantly carry the sentiment, that of loss and change and introspection. The weakness of the poem, where you lose the poetry of it, is in the first stanza, too literal, also lacking in any poetic justice to the rest of the poem. 'I've been afraid of changes' and 'When life sometimes makes you bolder' are also too literally dull; and 'Like a bird in flight' is way too much of a cliche, and it dampens the poem's peculiar promise. I wouldn't bother saying all this, but there is a very nice music to the poem and it is really worth revising, just be a little more creative with a few of the lines. Sometimes it's just the time between changes that gives enough pause to reflect. 'Dreams that wrap around all of the memories', lend them far more significance in reflection -quite a lovely thought. Terry p.s. Stevie Nicks has some great songs.

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