This Poem was Submitted By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2008-04-09 23:50:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Please Please speak,
Speak to me again.
I once found such comfort in the echos
Between your phrases,
So dangerously tender.
Freedom
Say anything so I may lose myself in the vibrations,
Where a words meaning is obsolete
And the hunger between us is muffled by my shameless indulgence.
Speak to me again,
I promise not to interrupt. |
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Copyright © April 2008 Audrey R Donegan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-05-07 14:55:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Audrey,
Another nice one. I know how much just being with your loved one, and hearing their words can make you breathless.
That's a wonderful thing to love that much.
The unconditional part of love is very nice. [to say the least]
This is quite good.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-04-20 11:21:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Audrey,
A very deep and well-written piece...One can spend hours picking through the layers...I sense a very strong longing rippling through the tense calm of the poem...a desire to free oneself from the shackles of hopelessness; a desire to connect...there is a sense here that the poet has been caught up in a storm of her own making..'muffled by my shameless indulgence' and the blue sky that is 'freedom'..is merely a whisper...
The poem flowed well and maintained it's depth while not revealing too much (keeping the reader pondering and digging)....I would not change a thing....this was very very well-written.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcus J On Date: 2008-04-10 13:44:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
“Echo(e)s between phrases†is a wonderful metaphor when use in conjunction with love. It signifies a lingering of sorts, a “hunger†as penned in line 9, and a lust as in “shameless indulgence.†And it does all of this without being actual words. Yes, echoes are a poet’s best friend. Your ending couplet hints of a never ending echo. Nicely done.
Welcome to the Link, Audrey. Stay and play with us for a while.
Mark M
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