This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2009-05-18 12:17:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Made of Ink I’ve been penciled-in
and erased
re-penciled
and erased again
so many times
I am but a smudge
while all around me
are made of ink
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Copyright © May 2009 Kenneth R. Patton
Additional Notes:
corrected and re-submitted
I guess I should have used pencil
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-06-07 01:36:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hello Kenneth,
A wonderful poem. Firstly, it is short and crisp. My kind of writing as it says MORE with LESS. The imagery and metaphor are powerful. 'I am but a smudge while all are made of ink' - is a thought that is so original and nails this poem's theme. Of all the poems I have read from you, this is my favorite.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-05-24 22:01:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kenneth,
I like this a lot.
You feel so temporary...just penciled in
And then erased, the ultimate rejection by the world or perhaps by a woman.
Everyone around is inked, goodness!
A smudge too.... Aren't we all?
A bit sad for you and Self esteem but I believe we all experience some of this.
Love it!
dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-05-19 12:46:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, I for one know you're not a smudge; but back to the poem, it would be nice if the spell check feature on TPL worked - it doesn't so errors happen easily unless you copy - paste your poem after doing a spell check from a word document.
Otherwise; this is deep, sanity prevails because we all go through so many phases, changes, and times in life where we seem insignificant; then realize how really important we are - others need us; we have purpose even though sometimes we don't know what that purpose is. Ink? Hmmm, I'd rather be a smudge; then I can be completely human and make mistakes to erase and do over.
Good write,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-05-18 16:01:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Ken,
Love your sense of humor, I often feel the same as you've discribe here in your write. So enjoy these little brief snipets...so much said with so few words... no nits here...enjoyed.
TC
Lora
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