This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-03 20:41:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Careful Forgive me father
for I will sin
lock me out or
lock me in
it hardly matters
such a tiny gap
between the two:
defreeing me
defreeing you |
|
Copyright © September 2009 Mark Andrew Hislop
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-10-06 17:29:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH,
Thank you. Put 4 more in the barrel. Bless your prolificity.
My wit must be asleep: you and Deni are cutting circles around me this afternoon.
MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-09-12 23:12:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Excellent - absolutely wonderful write.
You are boldly saying; what should I do? All men will sin; that Jesus gave his life so that we might live; and wash away our sins - but do you really want the freedom? Religious content is difficult for me to critique; being a true believer having been saved many, many times in life.
On my list,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-09-07 20:01:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nice finding your work today....you always have much to say with so few words. Enjoyed the flow of your words and the images they presented to me.....Happy Fall to you, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-09-06 22:50:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark,
Very nice. Short, elegant in its simplicity and rich in depth. This confessional enactment is real - and very aptly put, the difference between locked out and locked out is very very small. I like the honesty in the line 'for i will sin'. One of my favorite pieces from your pen. It gives the reader much to think about on the philosophy of life and spirituality and the thin line between the two.
Duane.
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