This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-09-28 23:26:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © September 2009 DeniMari Z.
It won't change
the symmetrical pattern of those who
Alone or with others
Laughing at the grand mess of simple differences
they believe are funny pathetic shrugs
God's eyes see
Basking in their own light
pain elsewhere to ears; minds and feelings
Of the cat or mangy dog loved inside
Sheltered roofs where they lay wondering alone about life's
Special superlative souls need
the magic dust of compassion
as they have been made -
Why would fools evict a person who can not change the way they are?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-10-06 17:37:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96000
This sums it up "Why would fools evict a person who can not change the way they are?"
"Fools" is the only way to describe them.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-10-04 22:28:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
For me, this poem highlights inidividulaity and the response it gets from the 'stupid' majority who take it upon themselves to steretype and of course, ostracize....Through your imagery, particularly of the mangy dog and cat (in their shelters of isolation), you bring this dark side of humannature to the fore. I liked the flow of this and the lines captured your theme well.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-09-30 16:05:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
By using evict, sounds like someone being evicted from their home.
What I think about this poem, is someone is unaccepting of the differences
of others. Their view is the only view and if not kick rocks.
You do well expressing. I don't like the spacing so much. It runs
together thoughts and separates thoughts. But I like the idea as a whole.
Just ignore me, I can't say it any better.
Keep on writing..........I'm so far behind at the moment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-09-29 09:26:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
to me this is a very powerful statement of what takes place daily in the lives of so many.....you are right in that tears won't change a thing or mean anything to those who enjoy judging others the way they do....
God's eyes certaily sees it all and your words hve given much to think of, images to not only see but to feel as well.....just the other day a child hit out at another with words concerning the size of his stomach....might be a small matter to some but the child was deeply touched by the hurting words.....God Bless, Claire will make my list of the months's poetry......
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