This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2009-11-09 23:13:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Raven's Flight

The Raven flies with fastened wings when night is night.  Before the morn can dare to creep, before the stars become a lamp of light. A flight across the heavens dark and deep. His haunting cark of raspy notes that speak of days when seas became like ribbon’s gold. He owns the eyes of coal and wicked beak, an ebon bird whose secrets won’t be told. When dawn decides to peek with amber stains, the Raven weeps for stronger wings to fly and soars in time where magic’s land remains, he dries his tears and sweeps the steady sky. The Raven’s claw is tightly clenched and strong, he scans the ditch and field where winds obey. With feathers sleek he soars where echoes throng to snare the silent breath of hapless prey.

Copyright © November 2009 cheyenne smyth

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-11-28 23:41:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Great imagery in your first verse; love the visual for "Before the morn can dare to creep, before the stars become a lamp of light. Truly outstanding. Second verse is just as enticing, fitted and with emotional impact picking up. Third verse, tightens this wonderful poem - really amazing what you've done with this. I think the last verse could be rewritten as it doesn't keep with the first three, I notice the effort to complete it may have been with haste - it's a bit wordy here, and I know you can cinch this - with the talent you display here. Blessings, a good write, and a better read. Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2009-11-12 15:51:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nicely penned Cheyenne. I love Ravens, crows etc. and find then fasinating animals filled in magical lore. This reads so well outloud and I love that. Has that feeling of mystery and the dark side to it. ..and at the end. ta da! he gets his prey. Love the line "When dawn decides to peek with amber stains" beautiful and original image there. This is my favorite stanza in the poem, the thought that he weeps for stronger wings to fly and soars in time where magics land remains. It is like us when we dream of flying, or when we dream so badly of what we seek but then return to reality and continue on. Really enjoyed your words.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2009-11-11 08:26:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I certainly appreciate what you are capable of doing with the flare of your pen and the words penned. The images created come to life in each line , you bring this Raven in full flight, the sounds he makes, the mission he is on...good form, word flow and you make this reader want more from your pen. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2009-11-10 11:38:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Cheyenne, This has a nice meter to your ten syllable count with your ac,bd rhyme pattern. Your verbiage is fresh and most descritive leaving words to dance on the readers tongue. The images you weave to leave on reader's mind speak of nature and the glory there in. A most pleasurable read, thank you for sharing your gift with us. TC Lora
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