This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-29 21:57:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Taken Down

Moment in time, heard the nesting nightingale   pictured intent upon a peaking ocean swell Bargaining with fate not to soak and drown   rather fall from limb toward startled ground But just a moment and all will change   the silver cord severed will rearrange Lives left lost while still in tangled weave   come back again anew yet still deceived. While we speak at Eliot's turn of the stair   to earn more than this to see if we can bear The soulful actual in front of us all that time   not to farce, to enhance, nor more, to sublime Merely to fall, like the tender bird, to ground. 

Copyright © January 2010 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
I'll take this opportunity to express my grattitude with everyone's wonderful participation in the contest. So many wonderful poems. I am like a child with an over-flowing Easter egg basket. To think I may have had some modest part in encouraging this. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-02-02 22:50:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
James, Wonderful words. Lovely, flowing, romantic, full of love for life. I'm thrilled with this..... Taken down falling to earth is becoming one with earth/our mother. thank you....... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-02-01 12:21:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96296
Hi JC, I know it's a metaphor, but I'm trying to envision the startled ground - yet; instead the beauty of the first verse is what I'm seeing. Very poetic; at your best - with a message in your 2nd verse - in a moment everything can change - but recover/have deception lingering about daily. I like it. I'm not sure who Eliot is so I won't comment there. I'd suggest one change - with changing one line to: The soulful actual confront us all the time, We fall; we get back up, Good poem, blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-30 16:08:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi JCH, First let me say, in my short time on this site, I have observed it coming from a silent place that seemed to be on its last lap around the drain to one that is full of light and promise. It is a joy to read the accomplished poets on this site and I do believe you are the one who plucked it from the grave. How could you not be encouraged by that? I do like this poem. I also remember Eliot's poem about the turning of the first stair and the turning of the second etc. I now feel dumb as I can't remember the name of the poem but his words were memorable. I liken your poem to the fall and rise of the poetic link as your well chosen words are clear to me. I am aware that this could be taken more than one way. even political for that matter. Either way it is a lovely. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-30 03:39:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James you have such a gift for stringing thought to thought in such wisdom and grace through your word smithing. This read extremely smoothly, flows down the page too softly-- as you speak of faux security this emotes the same ease of lull that we are getting from the powers that be. I do not mean that in a derogatory manner, simply put; your formatting parots the subject matter sublimely and less someone is paying attention they might miss the deeper meaning sitting just below the words. So eloquently stated, give a hungry child a piece of candy and he will think all is well and that he has been cared for while the raiders will take the rest of his possessions and the seeds he has accumulated to prosper. A very deep and haunting poem that will not be relagated to some nether region of the mind. There is nothing to find fault with in this accomplished write of yours, I applaud you for standing true and straight. Kudos, Lora
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