This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2010-12-09 00:24:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Shadows of Memories

Another day of loneliness without you Another night of coldness without you Memories are the shadows of ink On the pages in my mind All of the people I`ve met,and all of the places I`ve been Create a million stories of shattered dreams Of people I`ll never see again Another day of longing for you Makes a night of coldness in my bed Creates more ink for the shadows of my memories I know I`ll never see you again All of the things I`ve done,and things I`ve seen Create a million pages of memories in my mind Of people I`ll never see again Another day without you Is another night of frozen dreams The shadows of ink are fading away `Cause I can`t find my way to you  Even though I`ll never see you again

Copyright © December 2010 Michael Bird

Additional Notes:
For the girl that unknowingly captured my heart....Biz,maybe someday you will read this.....

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-01-01 16:46:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Michael, I really thought I had written a critique of this poem, but guess not. I love the melancholy falvor of the lines....not that is a good thing to lose the one who captured your heart but the fashion in which you write about. Excellent. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-12-23 11:55:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Michael, this piece touches on that within us all. It speaks well of those feelings some embrace and others run from. Shadows of Memories – this is a great title. It speaks from a counter-intuitive position; that is, memories are already like “shadows”, to move on to “shadows” created by memories reinforces the theme of this piece. Another day of loneliness without you Another night of coldness without you – These two lines combine in a cuplette that reinforces each other, the loneliness/coldness combination is a recognizable emotion for all of us. Memories are the shadows of ink – fabulous line “shadows of ink” is as good a simile as one will ever read. On the pages in my mind – an apt description of memory latent power. Stories are written on “pages”, and those pages are expanded by the “mind”. All of the people I`ve met,and all of the places I`ve been Create a million stories of shattered dreams Of people I`ll never see again – Once again you reinforce both the “stories” of those you have known, but also reference the knowledge base back to the reader “I’ll never see again” personalizes the image. Another day of longing for you Makes a night of coldness in my bed – The loneliness/coldness metaphor induces a greater feeling by the longing/coldness selection. “Bed” is a powerful a picture for the loneliness as any you could have chosen. We all recognize the tarrying of sleep, in loneliness and/or sadness. Creates more ink for the shadows of my memories – brings us back to S2 lines 3/4 I know I`ll never see you again – It is a matter of the “pages” that lead to the determination of loss; that is, “never see you again” amplifies the content of those stories “in the mind”. All of the things I`ve done,and things I`ve seen Create a million pages of memories in my mind Of people I`ll never see again – Again you reinforce the theme. The pages are precious because they tell stories that are honored. Although you wrote this to a target person, the content is quite universal to us all. I doubt a there is a single reader who cannot identify and sit back, in contemplation on the piece. thank you for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-12-23 10:47:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
Wanting and not having take us to dark places and you have splendidly captured the message in your poem. Memories can be haunting - but we can always leave them behind and step in to the present moment -and enjoy the time in it. Emotionally packed - full of stated feelings with a bit of regret instilled. Good job! blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-12-12 19:52:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Michael, Always the die-hard romantic and poetry is lucky to have one like you around as it veers of the road towards politics, sci-fi, fantasy, the gothic, etc. The potential for power in your work rests in the line - 'memories are the shadows of ink'. This line single-handedly evokes an image that is strong and unique and in many ways overshadows your other lines. While the spirit of the piece should be left intact, I recommend that you make the image of the shadows and build your piece around it, keeping freshness as your goal. That would make you stand out. I hope this helps. I'm glad I had the chance to read this. Duane.
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