This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-02-12 00:57:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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May Rest Come For as tired as I am
Why am I still awake?
Another day has come and gone
And hope is losing stake.
If only I could close my eyes
And nothing I would see;
So sleep might come and refill
My devastated energy.
To face tomorrow with strength renewed
And hope that stands a chance to tread
Upon this treacherous path before me
And find the will to live instead.
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Copyright © February 2011 Mandie J Overocker
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-02-21 11:28:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Sleepless nights are devastating to both stamina and energy. It depletes the body of rest and sometimes we want so badly to sleep and just can't close our eyes and fall to sleep naturally.
Great use of verbiage to detail the anguish that comes with bouts of insomnia.
Very nicely written,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-02-20 15:36:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie,
I think resting is depressing myself.
Sometimes a brisk walk or some hard work or play
can save the day.
The world is in a very distressed state and the weather manipulations
and mind altering drugs in everything don't help.
So we are all struggling to survive sanely.
So ok its rough but that's when you reach deep and keep it going.
Your writing helps to get the anger out.
keep on.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-02-12 16:33:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie,
This well written poem has lines laced with melancholy. It almost reads like a plea replete with excellent word selection, good rhyming and gentle flow. Even though sad I enjoyed every word. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
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