This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-11-29 02:39:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 32 (Chess)

Defending the King On this checkered arena Queen gambits her might

Copyright © November 2003 Erzahl Leo M. Espino

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-12-06 21:13:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.23077
Check mate! Good one. I've always wanted to know how to critique a Haiku. I still don't know after all these years! As a chess player myself, I appreciate this piece for what it is. Was this the finale? Did you have the Queen til the end?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-12-02 18:53:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Erzahl, I have never seen a more concise definition of a game of chess. I like how many of your haiku have philosophical meaning that lingers even after the reading is over. Sandra
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-11-30 20:25:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63333
Dear Ezrahl, Again you dazzle us with your talent for writing japanese verse. Ah yes, the game of Chess is soooo like the game of life. Defending the king is something we spend our life doing. Strategy is very important in this arena. As a young adult, I used to play chess and very much enjoyed matching wits against my boyfriend, brother, and other male friends. Guys always think that women are bad at playing strategy games. That is their first mistake. Their second mistake is goofing around and not paying attention because they assume women are bad at strategy games. :) I love the use of "checkered" as an adjective for arena with a double meaning of 1) patterned with alternating squares of color, and 2)marked by changeable fortune. That is pure genus, Ezrahl! "The Queen gambits her might"---I've never seen the word "gambit" used as anything but a noun, yet your use of it as a verb for meneuvering into an advantageous position is creative and daring and I love it! This one's a hit! My eye is on you, Erzahl. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-11-30 16:01:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.81818
Dear Erzahl, You are emerging as a premier Haiku writer and I am so proud of you. I hope that you contact the publisher in my area, I just feel that he would be interested. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-30 08:42:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55556
Good Morning my friend.....I hope this Sunday morning finds you safe and well......I am not into chess though I do have a son that tought his little girl to play from the time she could sit and watch him move his knights.....interesting thoughts.....true to form 5-7-5......since I know little of who does what I assume the Queen is defending her King in the above situation? I guess as with life when you love your mate you defend to the death...hehehe.....kinda romantic I am this morning......have to go feed the animals though the dogs are barking the cats meowing and the ckickens well then are a clucking.....roosters they never be have a great day and be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-11-29 15:26:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Erzahl: I love the game, although I'm not a great player. It teaches me to think ahead, which is something I don't always do. This senryu places the Queen in the service of her mate, in the "checkered arena" of politics and chess itself. In the real world, "checkered" suggests uncertain, a mixed pattern - good analogy for the workings of Fate. Women often do cast themselves in front of danger, on behalf of their husbands or other loved ones. In the case of a chess Queen, her power is not to be used lightly. The Queen's gambit is a daring move that may not ultimately pay off but if we venture nothing, we gain even less. This short piece nicely engages the reader's attention and leads to further thought. My Best, Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-11-29 13:33:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57576
Erzahl--I am no chess player. However,I do know that the objective of chess is to protect the king at the expense of other pieces (including the queen). All techs met (5-7-5 syllables/3 lines), no irrelevant verbiage presented: brevity and simplicity used to convey the message. Check and mate! We here at TPL know who the KING of Haiku is--Long Write Erzahl! Looking forward to your next ditty of a gem. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-11-29 12:53:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
Hi Erzahl, Your talent for these verses never ceases to astonish me! This one is not the usual haiku form that I am use is this one a senryu? Sadly I have much to learn regarding this form of poetry...."Defending the King on this checkered area is brilliant....I don't play chess but I have watched it being played...."Queen gambits her might" I am impressed with the word 'gambits' here. Could be interepted as a 'ploy' or perhaps a maneuver..either way its use is inspirational. Wish you lived closer to next door so you could give me haiku and senryu lessens..grin! Great work! Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2003-11-29 11:22:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.04167
Erzahl - Another well-constructed "English-style" haiku (5/7/5)...One question: Would "gambit" be the proper word to be used here? "Gambit" (a noun, by the way) - in my understanding - is defined as "an opening move in which the player seeks an advantage by sacrificing a piece, usually a pawn." So - a "Queen's gambit" would mean the sacrificing of the Queen's pawn, wouldn't it? I hope I'm not being too "picky"! Thanks for the read. Sean
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-29 03:53:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72414
Hi Erzahl, I'm glad to see your poem on the top of my list. The more I get enjoyment on your thoughts on this one because this is playful in the real sense. I am not quite good in playing chess but I can manage to defend myself with my opponent. I learned to play chess from my girlfried, by the way. Hehe. She was a credible contender in out college. But now she is already my ex. Hehe. So, you let me remind of her shortly. Hehe. Should I say I can sense royalty in your piece? No, no, no...just jokin'. This is not about kingship or queenship....Well, I'm just playing with my mind so I can tell more to lengthen my critique coz I feel I can only give a little on this. Hehe. Your japanese verse 32 is a senryu, as I learned the definition from you. I almost couldn't believe that your thought ran far to this subject. Of course, I enjoyed it much! Maybe, you are also fond of this game. If not, of course, everybody knows the concept of it. Every word here made a substantial concept on the subject. The use of King and Queen is simply nice and strong enough to carry out the idea. You can even use pawn or horse or bishop, but the two are powerful partners. The use of "gambits" as a verb is new to me. It is original. I think you are the first one to use it. I could say it has the sense of appropriateness. It can be defined as "maneuvers (verb)". And it involves a tactical sacrifice. It has a nice touch and just apt to put the scene into the technicality of the game. It goes appropriately with the phrase "checkered arena"---the position of a king so attacked. Nice, nice, nice....and the use is technically clever. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Jordan
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