This Poem was Submitted By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-12-09 18:35:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Establishing Vocabulary

Nascent, incipient man, requiring spans of years to acquire the lexis of his clan. Upon mastery, some are elated by such uncalculated possibilities: a noun, a verb, every word incantatory, a chant of glory. The tyro poet forms a rhyme, his first line of harmony. And at the end of each day, the sun sinks to think and to fathom. If only the perplexed poet imitated the cogitative sun, could see in which lexicon he might reach the halcyon, spiritual realm, his soul would be appeased. To please the empyrean is his goal and his prime concern is to learn the meter to the utmost rung that he, yet incomplete, could greet the Lord of tongues.

Copyright © December 2003 Mell W. Morris

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-06 18:39:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Hi Mell, Your poem brings to mind the story of the tower of Babel, When one language was spoken the world over and the men decided that they would build a great city and tower that would reach up into the heavens to acheive greatness and strengthen the peoples resolve to remain together. The tower was to extend above all else as a symbol of their religion. The Lord not wanting them to grow prideful, confused their language so they didn't understand each other and scattered them over the world. It intrigues me that the Greek word Babel means confuse or confusion, and that the pride of the people is said to have caused Divine intervention in such a way. You have written such an extraordinary poem here, plangent with assonance/consenance/rhyme like a hym of praise, right from the opening line. You start with nascent/incipient to describe mans humble beginning on this planet and your language penetrates in the most placating of ways. A slant rhyme of man/spans/clan is used in such a way as to add music and rhythm as only you can do. I couldn't in a million years master the rhythmic trick of using words like elated/uncalculated and incantatory/a chant of glory. Thats unparralelled use of rhythm in my humble opinion. The sun sinks/think----what inspiration. The sun sinks to think and fathom. Is that why sometimes when I'm laying in the cockpit of the sailboat, with the sun shining warmly on my head, it almost feels as though I am literlly being filled with knowledge of natures joyful song? *smile* I can't decide if I like what you are saying better, or the way you are saying it with language rhythm like lexicon/halcyon, soul/goal, appeased/please, concern/learn, complete/great, rung/tounge. Both I believe is the answer. This truely is my favorite for this month, for sure. I think. Yes. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-12-29 20:18:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mell, Undeniably, this is one fine piece skillfully penned! I don’t know who…but the one you are referring to is someone who is rich with words and knowledge! The inspiration it brings to you is incomparable! From every word he speaks is “a chant of glory” – I like the poetic metaphor! “And at the end of each day, the sun sinks to think and to fathom.” --- I enjoy the rhyming of “sinks to think”! This is such a profound and worth contemplating phrase! I also find it so haiku-like. Nature-inspired with a character! I have imagined the sun in complete wholesome picture. I like the adjective “perplexed” for the poet, so appropriate and fitting in this current state. “his soul would be appease” is an encouraging assurance of belief. It allows you to keep on believing to yourself. I also like the impact of the statement “reach the halcyon”. Though a bit impossible, it strikes with so much hope. I like the so ever-optimistic ending, “…yet incomplete, could greet the Lord of tongues”. Wow, poetically done! I am amazed by such vocabulary! This is a wandering desire yet achievable. “Lord of tongues” – so original and fresh! I am amazed by your inventive guts and desire! Who is this inspiration? Do I dare to ask? Thanks for another display of your talent and heart Mell! You successfully and effectively executed it! More of this please! Another winner! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-22 06:43:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76316
Well my dear with blindness setting in rather quickly I spent much time in search of all these news words presented to me within the lines of this one.....nice job putting this together and I do envy your vocabulary. My own use of words has diminished since I no longer work outside the home, for I talk with no one other them mom most of the time and she does not hold much conversation with me these days. Still, I so long to read and respond to what I find here on the link and I look forward to your work so much. Thank you for posting, for sharing this with us and I do look forward to your next safe my friend at this holiday season and may the Lord bless you and yours, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-12-20 19:34:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Each new submission raises the level of the reader to new levels of awareness, because each time you take us into the deeper well of concious thought, and if anyone has studied the cration of man, and how he developed his lexicon within the properities of the time frame he (she) existed in their time frame. Ideally you capture in the most exquiste linguists, that read like the rhythm of a musical score, and ask us to join you in a height of awareness, that ordinarly we just take for granted. never questioning the why, the when, the how come, yet each time your time frame of laying out scenarios is so accurate (An Aurt History major, with a minor in Humanaties), sets the stage for me with regard to how well you articulate. No doubt you are the truest most pure, mind provoking poet on this site, for you create Masterpieces, for me always a pleasure. You know of course I've been sidelined, but I've read, and reread your score, and I've worked diligently to a point where I became determined that I would, before the month ended, rise up about mere physical obstacles, and domy best to respond to your submissions, and that FriendGirl is all I'm trying to accomplish. Absolutely enthralling, and a pleasure as usual, youalways make my day, my week, my month and you have suceed brilliantly once again. There is one thought I have, your choice of Titles, it seems to fall short the masterpiece you create with your linguistic, musical ability. I read you simply your name is enough to entice me, but I wonder if you applied that same ability to some of your titles if that wouldn't create a broarder color swipe, as your pen does with your descriptive. I go out on a limb here, for ordinarly I don't like negetive suggustions, mostly never with you, but I couldn't help but wonder, why you are so cautious with your choice (knowing your linguistic ability), you wouldn't lose any your readership you know, and it's somewhat like coming ouide that box of comfort you have developed with your musically and wonderfully stated poem. Love, and The Merriest Christmas eer, like the Dove of peace, spread your wings and become the most absolute, daring, and exciting writer that you demonstrate with your poems, as you robably did with your book writing, you're tready you know. Love always, Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-12-19 16:40:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Mell: I see what I have missed, while away from the link! If this is a sample, I have been in the wrong places. I ought to have been here, nourishing my soul and mind with your 'spiritual lexicon' - truly. Nascent, incipient man, requiring spans of years to acquire the lexis of his clan. Upon mastery, some are elated by such uncalculated possibilities: a noun, a verb, every word incantatory, a chant of glory. The tyro poet forms a rhyme, his first line of harmony. With "nascent/spans/clan/mastery/incantatory/chant" you have thrilled me through and through. I can't compare this to anything, except transcendent music. Every word counts for a plethora of allusions, sound combinations, imageries and delights. They've set my sensorium humming. This poem is a splendid example of 'inspiring' in the truest sense. And at the end of each day, the sun sinks to think and to fathom. If only the perplexed poet imitated the cogitative sun, could see in which lexicon he might reach the halcyon, spiritual realm, his soul would be appeased. To please the empyrean is his goal and his prime concern is to learn the meter to the utmost rung that he, yet incomplete, could greet --- SUBLIME Charmingly wise personification of the sun, who "sinks to think." The sonic dances of your plosives in "perplexed/poet/appeased/please/prime" are energetic and scintillating. Such slant-rhymes as "lexicon/halcyon" add an almost syncopated feeling to this joyous descant to language. the Lord of tongues. And the denouement of this work is a surprising, equally thrilling one: greeting the "Lord of tongues." This is one of your finest - without doubt. What can I say? I can only bow before your gift, presented to all with your typical grace. Kudos! All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-12-16 07:42:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Dear Mell, What a clever way to incorporate a bunch of new words! Some I admit I had to look up! But to also tell a story of a poet striving for perfection in such a concise way too, is a great feat. Congratulations on a job well done. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Drenda D. Cooper On Date: 2003-12-13 19:45:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, What an erudite poem. Whatever inspired you to reach back in time to the very beginnings of the establishing of vocabulary?--I picture the spans of time as eons from man's first guttural utterings to each other, to the establishment of words,languages,refining the words into myriad uses-no longer just for communication but reaching ever higher and finally into the spiritual realms of perfection-that soul's appeasement long sought by many--perhaps it will be the language of the stars... Then on further assessment I thought to myself this could possibly be just the life of a poet-- the spans of time just the days of his life--from babyhood gurgling to learning to speak and then ,enamored with the sounds he can now make--begins to search for higher forms in which to express himself--Everyman's poet reaching ever higher for the right word, the best phrase, ever improving on simple rhyme --taking his ability to the highest possible level--Man's journey is that and it does make the trip somewhat less rocky if the poet does take the time to meditate and cogitate and fathom who, what, and where he is on this, his own scale of perfection --for it stretches into forever and is no matter what he does he cannot help but remain in the conundrum of the alpha--omega palindrome....I hope I have not been out in left field again..I often can conceptualize a poem without being able to explain exactly what I mean to say.. I just hope you realize how very far up the rungs you are will ever feel incompetent to greet the Lord of tongues because he is, as yet, incomplete..... I enjoyed this whole thing........You are a wonderful poet!! ................drenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2003-12-10 16:02:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Mell, Strange, but among all the lush flora like "Nascent, incipient man" the line that really grabs me is the one, "the sun / sinks to think and to fathom." The rhythm of that, the meter, is what is so nice: the initial heavy stress of a spondee ("sun sinks") as if the sun was having heavy going just above the horizin and then, once it begins the dip below, it accelerates ("to think and to fathom"), with that whatyoumecallit, that anapest (?) just before the final, unstressed syllable in "fathom" - the falling off. And then there's the idea of the sun thinking. Man, that opens the universe up, a bit, doesn't it? That thought has brought the world alive to my imagination this afternoon. Thank you. And how could this KJV loving, damnable Christian do anything but love that "Lord of tongues"? The same damnable one likes the reminder of Jacob's ladder in "utmost / rung" too. Your Heaney poem is one of the treasures here. This one seemed a bit trite, obvious. I mean, it's thoughtful and all - nice title - but it didn't really say anything much, for me, and had a crossword puzzle feel in some spots. Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Leo Wilder On Date: 2003-12-10 13:10:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mell, I needed one of those lexicons for this piece but it rings in my head as I read the piece over and over in amazement. Not much of a critique, just a great read for me today. Leo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-12-10 00:43:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh, I am very much interested with this, Mell, because you know I am gathering vocabularies since my English is not quite good! SMILE! You know, I am always excited if I can find a word that is new to me. If there is a new word that I can come across, I would immediately consult my dictionary. Here, in ThePoeticlink, I can establish my vocabularies through your writings. And of course, I am already so much attached to critiquing so that I can apply all these words I encounter. Your input is very effective with nascent and incipient. The validity of the title is immediately reinforced as these two words are the same and you know, to this readers, they are new to me. I might've come across with these before but forgot it. I like the association of man spreading his clan to bring about the ideas the idea of lexis, total set of words in a language as distinct from morphology. Oh, I am what you are talking about! I am a tyro poet, a neophyte at poetry. I started writing poetry when I was introduced to this link. That is reality! I wouldn't have written over 50 poems now without ThePoeticLink. Really! I really like the line "The tyro poet forms a rhyme, his first line of harmony." The concept is again new and your trademark, poet! Your higlight once again is amazing as you thrill me with the sun sinks to think and to fathom....very deep in thoughts I could sense. How fathomable is the depth of your mind penetrating to the deepest facite of human life, the spiritual aspect. You mean halcyon here as tranquil, right? Really eloquent in your words and language! Wow, the ending is very profound! I am amazed by your input: "To please the empyrean is his goal and his prime concern is to learn the meter to the utmost rung that he, yet incomplete, could greet the Lord of tongues." Should that also be my goal as a tyro poet and even when I became a perplexed poet? Mell, all your poetry is undeniably profound! That hits the mind of your fellow poets like me! I should be establishing my vocabulary through you! Thank you very, this is another winner, I should say! Take care and be safe! I hope you are now relieved with your illness. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-12-09 23:29:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell--Almost a total tongue twister just from the intricate descriptors throughout the piece. A supreme and apt title of course-smile. Internal/slant rhymes of man/spans/clan and elated/uncalculated provides a nice melodic rhythm for the first stanza. Internal/slant rhymes of sinks/think, lexicon/halcyon, appeased/please, empyrean/rung/tongues, incomplete/greet in stanza #2 continues the musical ebb and flow of the poem. A unique educational fun piece and not so subtle spoof of poets-smile. A fantastic read, thanks for sharing this effort with us at TPL. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-12-09 19:04:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Have you ever been hungry for something only to have it pop up in front of you? Me neither. Anyway, This nice little ditty from our Lexicography Section Chief is chock (is that a word, warden?) full of nuts and all sorts of Holiday candies. I am chewing on a large Brazil Nut (empyrean, very flavorful with just enough oil and salt). Next, I'm going to guzzle a Halcyon full of tyro-Dew. Thus imbibified, I shall fall off the edge of the couch and lie there until the dog... Where I am I? Nebraska or somethin'? Frodo. FRODO! Oh, god, I've done it again. Gotta go. Bye.
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