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This Poem was Submitted By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-12-30 09:34:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Visions of Yesterday

As I close my eyes to rest Visions of yesterday Float about inside my head As clear as day I see you there Gathering your fishing gear Row boat ready to go Filled with Buckets, worms and poles Off you go my love Catch us a good meal Tonight we shall have A fish fry Daybreak is yet to come The children sleep I find myself rocking On the inside porch Watching the diamonds Dance across the lake Happier days of long ago Shared together, you and I Tucked in the lining of my heart Forever and always Ready to spring forth Whenever I close My eyes to rest It has been forty years Since you went away I am now ninety two And still waiting for you To join me on the inside porch Watching our diamonds Dance across the lake

Additional Notes:
Holidays bring out the sentimental part of my heart and for those who have lost a loved one during the holiday it matters not how long ago it was......the memories bring it back like it was yesterday. Mom shared a wonderful life with dad and his anniversary is coming up soon.......mom is now 92 and looking forward to the day he comes back to take her home........her memories of days gone by come and go and I just wanted to share this with you folks. No need to critique its from our hearts to yours.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-01-06 13:58:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Dear Claire: This rare treat is lovely! I love the way you've made it vivid with abundant imagery, present tense, and warm memories. Though the occasion of the anniversary is sad, the joy within the poem communicates complete trust in reconciliation for your parents. Such spiritual reassurance is a strengthener of faith and hope for us all. I think you have captured something else very important here, as well. As one grows older, the blending of the past, present and future increases; when you write "as clear as day" the carity of this melding is sublime. It is what we hope for but do not completely realize until we are close to that "gate" - or so it seems to me. As I close my eyes to rest Visions of yesterday Float about inside my head -- wonderful assonance of "close/float/row/boat/poles" for example! As clear as day I see you there Gathering your fishing gear Row boat ready to go Filled with Buckets, worms and poles Off you go my love Catch us a good meal Tonight we shall have A fish fry I am smiling with the picture of the two enjoying a fragrant repast together once more. I love that you placed this is present tense. It is so immediate and real. Daybreak is yet to come (A hint that your mother is not ready to meet him yet?) The children sleep I find myself rocking On the inside porch Watching the diamonds Dance across the lake What an exquisite image - one can see the "diamonds dance across the lake" through the speaker's eyes with delight and anticipation. Happier days of long ago Shared together, you and I Tucked in the lining of my heart Forever and always Ready to spring forth Whenever I close My eyes to rest The unsaid thought here, but implied, is that when the time comes for those eyes to close for the 'final' rest, they will open to the sight of the beloved! It has been forty years Since you went away I am now ninety two And still waiting for you To join me on the inside porch Watching our diamonds Dance across the lake Lovely in every way. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate these "diamonds" from your heart to ours. Blessings to you and your mom! All my best, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-01-05 15:18:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Lovely Claire, It's so very heartfelt. This is what poetry is..... This touches the heart. My computer's been down for awhile... Happy new year my friend. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-01-04 17:54:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Claire, Wow, this is a wonderful yearend poem Claire! Full of memories, “bright” memories! “As I close my eyes to rest” – what a perfect intro to start this reminiscing ride of yesteryears. I like the idea of the eyes were close for it perfectly fits the full concentration to wonderful recollections. The simplicity of the entire layout of the poem adds beauty to your work. The real scenarios and moments are heartwarming (readers can easily feel and relate on those unforgettable experiences), from fishing, to the rocking on the porch, to the “watching of diamonds dance across the lake” – wow, for me this is my favorite part! For me, moonlight or “diamonds (Wow! Great metaphor!) dance across the lake” is an intoxicating phrase…also it is such an amazing picturesque! Thank you Claire for this inescapable sight! I truly enjoy these images! It’s so haiku-like…enjoyed the nature scenery! Excellent! For me this is a winner Claire! Your dedication poem that came from the inspiration of your parents is one of the beautiful offerings of TPL December 2003 poetries. Thank you for this splendid piece Claire! You were able to save the best for last! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-02 23:24:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Claire, Yup! No need to critique its from our hearts to yours. This one is straight from the heart with the thoughts freely influxing to give the wonderful memory of this person in the author's life. This the memorable yesterday's vision of your mom with respect to her husband and her family together. I am very glad to note that she lives abuot 92 years now. I could also say that she is blessed with a precious child whose untiring efforts are dedicated to her. By the way, I like the story of the fishing for I could relate it also in our family. My father do farming and fishing for us to survive. I am not doing myself, I am in the information and technology industry and I am helping my parents and siblings. I love them very much the same way that you love your mom and your own family. Thanks for sharing this with us. Happy New Year once again. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2004-01-01 03:45:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Claire: What precious memories you share for your mother. Claire, you create a real picture here of the past, your father, life when it was really good for her. I hope you read it over and over aloud so that she can enjoy it and remember. Holidays bring back our memories quite naturally, but if the loved one died on or near a holiday, it seems to touch us even more each year. It is not often that you share your wonderful viewpoints with us, your life stories. I was happy to see another entry from you. Your work has a peaceful, calming power to it, due to the gracious poet herself. Great piece! Best of luck. Love and Happy New Year! Wanda

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-12-31 15:46:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72222
Dear Claire, I am so touched by this poem. If my husband had lived just 45 more days we would have been married 40 years but he died at 59. I can easily understand your mother waiting 40 years for you father to return as she was fairly young when he passed away plus even tho she knows he is gone waiting for him just feels right and it calms her. You have done an excellent job with this piece. It is full of wonderful words that express love and complete understanding for your mother. My husband always fished (and me too) so reading the part about "Fishing, bucket, worms, boat" made me suddenly leap into your mother's memory...."Watching the diamonds dance across the lake"...beautiful imagery of the lake's surface especially at sunrise...."Tucked in the linning of my heart" These are amazing words of a waiting and remembering heart. Also the use of "the inside porch" gives a homey, comfortable, sense to the entire piece. This one will go on my winners list...don't stop writing as I think there are many poems just waiting to find your creative pen. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-12-30 19:58:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Claire, This is so precious. It touches those parts of the heart that only poetry can access. I sometimes forget how real and human poetry can be. Thank you for reminding me. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-12-30 16:18:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95238
Dear Claire, From your heart to ours, indeed! Thank you so much for touching my heart with your "Visions of Yesterday". What a gift you have! I am filled with a sense of having traveled beyond the rainbow to a world that is filled with the sights and sounds of deep emotions. This is packed full of lovely images like "diamonds dancing on the lake", Something I have watched hand in hand with the love of my life. "This is my favorite phrase: Happier days of long ago Shared together, you and I Tucked in the lining of my heart" Thank you to you and your Mother for this poignant, lovely piece. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-12-30 15:50:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47500
Dear Claire, What a beautiful and touching piece! It has great visuals in it and lots of heartfelt emotion. May God bless you Mother in the days ahead, I am glad that she still has some of her good memories. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-12-30 15:11:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Claire: How lovely to find a poem by you at the top of my list! And a lovely poem it is that I could not skip a critique although you say it's from your hearts to ours. Thank you for the gift and wishes. I like the title and it suggests memories but the reader has no idea where that idea may lead. Stanzaic free verse is my favorite and this piece winds slowly like a country lane...nothing forced, just nice and easy pacing. "As I close my eyes to rest, Visions of yesterday Float inside my head. As clear as day, I see you there, Gathering your fishing gear. Row boat ready to go Filled with Buckets, worms and poles. Off you go, my love. Catch us a good meal: Tonight we shall have A fish fry." This is a comforting scene, filled with ordinary activities but delightfully described. I picture this clearly: the woman seeing her husband off for a day of fishing and hopeful he'll bring home a good catch. I love the phrase: "Gathering your fishing gear" as it's so harmonic with assonance and alliteration. You also use the long O sound effectively: close/float/row/boat/go/go. You know how I love sounds, Claire, so this is quite a pleasure for my ears. "Daybreak is yet to come; The children sleep. I find myself rocking On the inside porch, Watching the diamonds Dance across the lake." Nothing can match "rocking on the inside porch" as an activity and as memories from my childhood. In those days, everyone had rocking chairs on their porches which were screened here in Texas because of insects. Your most exquisite phrase is "Watching the diamonds dance across the lake." I wish I had written that line! Simply beauteous and conjuring lovely images in my brain. "Happier days of long ago Shared together, you and I. Tucked in the lining of my heart ...another splendiferous phrase!.... Forever and always Ready to spring forth Whenever I close My eyes to rest." The repetition of "close my eyes to rest" is quite effective here. And always the memories of her life with her husband residing in her heart, ready to "spring forth". I like that choice of verb because we already have the water image of the lake and "spring" also suggests water. "It has been forty years Since you went away. I am now ninety-two And still waiting for you To join me on the inside porch, Watching our diamonds Dance across the lake." Wow! Perfect ending with the reiteration of the loveliest image: rocking on the inside porch, "watching our diamonds dance across the lake." You have a nice internal rhyme of two/you and the five W words add a tender touch. I haven't paid much attention to your devices of allits, rhymes, etc...because I am so caught up and captured by the story and most of all, your descriptors. I read that imagery is all about appealing to the senses and yours certainly does that as I am smitten with your linguistics herein. Your mother's memories are wonderful and thanks to her for sharing them and to you for framing them in lovely poetic form. This is my favorite of the VERY few poems I've seen by you and I cherish it and feel my spirit elevated by its message. Brava! A ***** rating and deepest gratitude that you shared this loveliness with us. Best, Mell

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-12-30 14:46:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
To me wonderful metaphor relating to emotional sensation, along with the lake, and crystal diamonds. Forty years gone, but not the memory, of the enraptured dreams of a Lady, who is withdrawing into her individual inner porch. No young person quite knows yet of all these sensations, for they drift on the outside, actually thinking there is a lot of time left, when life has been experienced, it is the glorious memories that sustain, as we wait. I really think in many ways we recede to the past to the fulfillment of a brilliant foundation, then dreams are always as real as you relate with regards to your Mom at 92. Lovely Claire, and a beautiful sembelance of sensation is caught in your lyrics. Yes, I think I understand, even 28 years younger, for it is the clarity of the memories that caotuture the essence of us, and who better to understand then a daughter who loves freely, and gives of herhelf to see her Mother remains safe. Maybe both of you look out from that porch, your inner sanctum, and remember. Lovely Claire, it comes together so nicely you convey a lot of personal sensation relating to your Mom's memories, betcha there are smells that flood her senses in conjunction with the memories, but only she really knows. Lovely, would I pray my daugher remembers me thus, then my worth as a woman, Mother, wife, waiting to rejoin is articulated as well as your poem. God Bless yourMom, and you Claire, only when someone truly loves can they sacrifice. Happy New Year, and may each day be a peacful memories for your Mom...Love, Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2003-12-30 12:01:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82143
Claire--This is not a critique, however, I wanted to say what a superb "persona poem", but it's an even greater story. Several times I read this and several times I had to put it out of my hands only to replace it with tissue. Thanks for sharing such a lovely and poignant story. TLW P. S. Give your mom a kiss for me--Thanks!

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