This Poem was Submitted By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-02-13 17:36:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Neuter Allegiance

I've no tolerance for political campaigns nor speeches written by pros on the payrolls of the speakers. I'm weary of unctuous words from righteous leaders and I'm not sentimental about matters governmental. Petulant as a cactus when politicians speak, my response is a quick tweak of the control. Inequity is the norm: our class system as palpable as the caste. The disparity between the haves and nots is agape with the nots apparently in sleep state. Speech rights  endure but everyone seems disengaged except the players who engorge on more mammon while all I have for change is one chadded  vote card. In my youth, they assassinated  three of my dream-seekers and yet for years  I kept the belief that relief would appear. Now I am breathless at the death of my idealism and I've no hope that a leader will emerge who would forfeit a portion of his power that we might be endowed with the return of our lives. I leave it to the heavens now and pray that the people of our nation will listen, think and see. And in the end with eyes of reality, do more than be.

Copyright © February 2004 Mell W. Morris


This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-27 21:14:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40541
Enjambment works very well here. The consonance, assonance and alliteration throughout most of this work seems extraordinary. Interior rhyming is effective in many instances, and the poem flows quite well. I might try to tweak the meter just a bit, but it "ain't" that big of a deal. Nearly a masterpiece, Mell. Thanks for submitting this one. Politics is one of my passions because I believe that the power has become an obsessionin our government(s). :-( Write on. wl


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-02-23 13:55:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
Hi Mell, I found this poem at the bottom of my list today and feel the need to comment on your writings. I too am so disenchanted with our political situation and so sick of seeing the 'would be presidents' thumping their chests and telling us how good they are as opposed to all other would be's in the race...."I'm weary of unctuous (perfect word) words from righteous leaders.....petulant as aa cactus when politicians speak...quick tweak of the control." So well said. I love this line "The disparity between the haves and nots is agape with the nots apparently in sleep state"...You should e-mail that statment to all involved!...."all I have for change is one chadded vote card"...Standing ovation! ..."they assassinated three of my dream-seekers"...mine too..and the country has never recovered and has never know leaders like those men since then...."death of my idealism and I've no hope that a leader will emerge who would forfeit a portion of his power that we might be endowed"...aint that the truth?...'leave it to the heavens now'..where else can we turn? The last four words of this piece sum it all up..."do more than be" I don't think we have anyone in charge that can do more than just 'be' You have made some profound and very wise statements here and hope everyone reads it. Also I do hope you are feeling o.k. as you have been very quiet for several days...I continue to pray for you. Blessingss...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-17 22:14:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Dear Mell: I've read this and read it and come back to it once more. It took me a bit of time to digest and respond - partly because I was away for a few strenuous days, but also because in your first line you so accurately state my own attitude towards politics as they are currently expressed. Another reaction to the poem is to jive along with its extremely strong rhythm - almost a danceable beat! I read it as rap - and that worked for part of it. But then I drew back and marveled once more at your facility with words. Perhaps 'brilliance' and 'innovative genius' might cause others reading this critique to think I've gone over the top (again) but be that as it may - you have those qualities in abundance as demonstrated in this work. Now - a few samples of why I say these things - I've no tolerance for political campaigns nor speeches written by pros on the payrolls of the speakers. I'm weary of unctuous words from righteous leaders and I'm not The slippery, oily sounds of 'unctuous' and 'righteous' are apt, able demonstrations of writing skill - and you're not on anyone's payroll! The p's which almost seem to pop and spit (political/politicians/payroll/petulant) seem an engaging satirical mime of the actions of the politicos. sentimental about matters governmental. === exactement - and rhythm is magical here! Petulant as a cactus when politicians speak, my response is a quick tweak of the control. --witty rhyme of "speak/tweak" Inequity is the norm: our class system as palpable as the caste. The disparity between --the 'aa' assonance elicits awe the haves and nots is agape with the nots apparently in sleep state. Speech rights endure but everyone seems disengaged except *I thought I read "knots" in the quatrain above, as well - but see that I have hallucinated it. Your musical ability/appreciation shines throughout the work. I wanted to say something about "petulant as a cactus" and how dazzling that seems, especially coming from a Texan - but I wanted to say it with more panache than this. Your writing puts me in a good mood even if the subject is gloomy or oppressive. As an aside, sometimes I wonder if the "sleep state" and the seemingly ignored "speech rights" are a side effect of hearing so many confusing messages and the constant barrage by the media of fearful situations. the players who engorge on more mammon --the imagery of bloated breast-feeders comes to mind while all I have for change is one chadded vote card. In my youth, they assassinated three of my dream-seekers and yet for years Here I had to pause and recall the extreme grief of a nation, and the sound of my own hopes crashing, too. Your 'ch' sounds are biting, ironic. You've stated the situation with grace, with aplomb, but with sad, piercing truth. The word "assassinated" is a powerful one - which contains so much within it that it stopped me in my reading. The thought occurs to me that written art has greater impact because language is an 'essence' somehow. Sight and sound are sensual, but words are cerebral. I kept the belief that relief would appear. Now I am breathless at the death of my ---the cleverness of this poem does not overshadow the importance of its theme, and the words above are as piercingly sad as any I've read - so heartbroken we all were - and still are. idealism and I've no hope that a leader will emerge who would forfeit a portion of his power that we might be endowed with the return of our lives. I leave it to the heavens now and pray that the people of our nation will listen, think and see. Perhaps this poem will do some good - inspire some of us who feel defeated to get the lead out and go out and vote - perhaps be a delegate to a caucus if possible. Prayer seems the only appropriate response to a situation which may increase or continue the present violence and despair. My mood has definitely shifted from one of exhilaration brought about by your wordsmithing to realization that we live with broken hearts - and must act (listen, think and see) as well. And in the end with eyes of reality, do more than be. The philosophical ending here is amazingly energizing. We cannot afford to sit on our perceptions of reality and not act, you show us here. This timely work is hard-hitting and in at least this reader's estimation, an excellent use of the written word to affect change. I'd like to see this published where the general public could receive the wake-up jolt of awareness that I felt just now. Incredibly well done - one of your most powerful to date. Brava, once more. Now I feel motivated to get out and do something - somehow, some way. Kudos! All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-15 04:18:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Mell--Somewhere during my read I spotted two rhymes (one each, internal and end); this will be the last time I refer to poetics while reviewing this beaut-smile! The title is phenomenal! I pondered over it for quite sometime and not because I didn’t know where the speaker was going with, to me, her subtle theme (ineffective loyalty/devotion, etc): I wondered about expectations of reciprocity; constituents vote for candidates based on political promises (wishful thinking?). However, after I mulled over descriptive phrases such as: ...no tolerance for political...; ... weary of unctuous words...; ...not sentimental about matters governmental and etc, etc (so I am slow-smile again). I finally realized the speaker was just warming up. What followed is a treatise on the sad sordid social state of our country, due in part to our individual apathy and self-censorship: seeing something wrong and failing to act or speak out. The speaker also infer that our current situation was influenced if not precipitated by the assassinations of three 'visionary' leaders. Moreover, the speaker believes she was forced to change her philosophy because this present crop of politicians/leaders are sorely lacking in the “right stuff:”this is indicated by obvious brusque language she uses to lambaste and censure this aforementioned group. The speaker ends her terse dissertation with an unrestrained challenge/call to action for us all: “ I leave it to the heavens now and pray that the people of our nation will listen, think and see. And in the end with eyes of reality, do more than be.” On the other hand, I may be way off base in my verbose assessment. Thanks for writing this dynamic piece and sharing your heartfelt sentiments with us. TLW P.S. thanks for the new contributions to my growing “word bank.”
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-02-14 20:32:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
No Kidding Mell, this poem says it all. I also constantly await the leader who is willing to consoder the people (all people), rather then speaking falsely, telling us they care, they love us, and have our concerns at hand. All I seem to hear is lies, and false truths, that enable these politicans to gain their way, to emphasise making more money, and giving breaks to those that have, while stripping away the rights of those that do not have. A cast system for sure. None have proven that they willspeak and sacrifice in behalf of those that struggle. What we have in office right nowis proof positive that we are the dupes in this system. Like you I'm weary of hearing tall tails, and seeing the little guy sacrificed for what, money, money, money. No human quality and yet they prosepose that agape love, false and uncaring really. It's been so long dince we've had true leaders that I doubt the American public is capable of see the tree for the forest. Each new sections, vote, political debate I see false, I see bright, chipper, false facades, that fade away as soon as power is given. God, I hate these periods of falseness, of being force fed lines, sometimes I wish those that have been assinated where still here, we have so few that speak in the behalf of all, it's so false, and un-needed wars only take the gems of youth from us, the war mongers who only gain what they want are the winners. Viet Nam more then proved that, so much sacrificed for what, and the lies, and falsehood, and agape love is believed by the masses, and they put the wrong people in charge, that group that like the power. Oh, they talk a good story, but the purpose is only to achieve what they want for the shaste system, not us.....the truth hurts. The poem says it well, the projection and thrust is excellent, and the vocabulary is so appropriate...great job. Love friend/girl, Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-14 18:53:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mell, Once again, I your theme is very much significant. Politics? Oh, this is hot suff especially in our country here that we are heading the national election. Politics has been a part of our lives because somehow we are bound to government laws and ordinances. Campaigns are all over the country right now. Actually, the election is slated on May 2004. So this is a timely piece in the Philippine setting! Essential is your first input: "I've no tolerance for political campaigns nor speeches written by pros on the payrolls of the speakers". Very straight to the point! I like the wordings in this poem, they are very strong, they are convincing. They look simple for me except the unctuous which I researched, "characterized by affected, exaggerated, or insincere earnestness". Thanks for the vocabulary! I like the simile here: "Petulant as a cactus when politicians speak" The description is very true to my experience. The plosives 'p' is remarkably emphatic. You really have a keen and very true observation of what's happening in politics nowadays. This one is appreciated very much: "The disparity between the haves and nots is agape with the nots apparently in sleep state." I like the simile. seems to aware me with the truth in your words by giving me a hissing sound! Hehe! I believe in your philosophy and idealism, Mell. It takes a Jesus-like heart to come up with this reaction: Very humble and submissive to God! "I leave it to the heavens now and pray that the people of our nation will listen, think and see." Indeed, so true. Your words are gems shining brilliantly. Thanks for sharing, this with us, Mell! Now, I see you as a person. I hope the persons in politics are like you! Blessings with more wisdom, Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-14 17:23:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52381
Mell this comes straight from your heart and it is indeed packed with high emotions that present to this reader what should be after the election is over......nicely structured, I wonder who your notes would have named for I had a few that are not here with us too, and to me the loss deeply touched more then one soul......and I blame the government for the loss of these men....in one way or another. Your words flow like the river they appear to be on, running through one county after another until all parties have exhausted their political voice and there remains nothing more then the people marking their choice in hopes that their voice is heard around the world...... Thank you for posting and sharing this with us......we appreciate your soul honesty .....be safe and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-14 09:09:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Mell, I hardly know how to respond to this poem. It sounds so hopeless. Yet I believe that good will win out and overcome evil. I pray for our leaders, pray that the populace will vote for the man that God would have in our Oval office, and pray for that man. It is a scary prospect to see that those who are running dishing out the dirt, etc. So much muck throwing and shouldn't we be concentrating on what we are facing right now? I will be glad when the whole election is over, and pray that the right man is elected to office. Our country depends on it, maybe our very lives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Carolyn Minsker On Date: 2004-02-14 08:09:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear Mell, my weary heart burns with the fever of unrest, the inequity of prejudice, the lopsided distribution of wealth that threatens the health and wellbeing of a silent majority of the world's voiceless children who, suffering, are enslaved for the making of chocolate treats for the wealthy minority, are maimed in the labors of silk, and are endangered in meatpacking houses in Omaha (yes Nebraska), are bombed in mosul for the production of oil, their bones and their mothers' ground up to fuel the machinery of globalization, even here in america, the land of dreams pumped through the television matrix..... Your heartfelt poem gives voice to the pain I feel in politics, even as I reel off the numbers, the facts, the eloquent arguements, my pain is unspeakable, my voice is muted, my heart is dying inside.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-02-13 19:11:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.29412
As wonderful a personal stance as I've ever read. I would consider changing "except" to "but" and "caste" to "cast" except that caste is not a cast and but is only an abuttment. In the spirit of the times I will leave the politicking and the religionizing alone. I don't have the balls or the energy to show all my low cards. Whitless in TwinTown
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