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This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2004-02-23 19:34:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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About Love and Death

Bitter sweet this double edged sword, We call love. We build our fragile worlds, On the belief that tommorrow, Will always come. Ponder not on the voice of reason that, Says that is not always the case. Love was the foundation stone, of our gentle place, A haven admist all our mortal storms. Is it really wiser to have loved, and lost it all or, Or not to have loved, never, to feel the raw pain of seperation, Splendid in this, perfect, isolation. Yet I remember promises made, About the care of the three, That through the remeberance of our love. They would learn to fly free. Its is in your honour, A touch of your resonance, Perhaps. left in me, of your light, That will guide me, And brighten the dark way, I still love you I still need you, All apparent to those that can see.

Additional Notes:
Paula my wife died on 26/02/04 this is my first poem since the loss of my muse.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-03-06 19:19:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61538
Hi Stephen I commented on this two days ago...but TPL went down and it appears that my comments got lost. I said a few things, but the most important in my mind was...I hope that Paula will be forever your muse. Thanks for sharing and please write, write, write...it is very therapeutic. Mick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-02-28 17:35:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82353
Dear Stephen, First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. The depth of your love is very apparent in this beautiful tribute to her. I know you say you lost your muse, but I believe that your muse is still with you and inspiring you to new heights of writing. There is so much raw emotion here and it is very hard to offer any words that will give you any comfort. This was especially meaningful to me: We build our fragile worlds, On the belief that tommorrow, Will always come. We know in our hearts that people do not live forever, yet are unable to face the fact of their passing until it is there in front of us. I believe that if we love, yet let fear of losing them interefere with that love, then we are the ones who will suffer. I still love you I still need you, All apparent to those that can see. This ending is beautiful and made me tearful, you have a wonderful love and again I am sorry for your loss. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-02-27 00:08:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89286
Dear Stephen, First and foremost, thank you very much for sharing us this sad event in your life. Losing a wife is totally painful but I hope you now have an acceptance. Your words here tell us that your wife is continue living a life in the light of God's love. "Bitter sweet this double edged sword, We call love." You started the poem with a nice touch of love. I can feel you are really bonded with the love founded in God. The descriptor "double edged sword" create a great impact. "We build our fragile worlds, On the belief that tommorrow, Will always come." ---- Very sad but inspiring! The hope of living life in eternity is shown. I understand the misspelling, I know it is hard to type this message to share with us. "Is it really wiser to have loved, and lost it all or, Or not to have loved, never, to feel the raw pain of seperation" --- brilliant idea of hope and inspiration. Your words herea are the sincerest and the truest of all. Thank you for sharing this with us. We are glad that she left you her light that would guide you and briten your way. My condolence to you. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-02-25 16:15:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Dear Stephen: Oh, how I wish that the wisdom and passion (in the sense of the original meaning) in this poem did not come from your firsthand experience! Having suffered the loss of a dearly loved one myself, though not so recently, I recall how difficult it was to put anything into words in those first months. I especially admire your willingness to share your words and emotions here. You have done so unforgettably. "Is it really wiser to have loved, and lost it all or, Or not to have loved, never, to feel the raw pain of (separation)," The lines above recall another poem, one that has special meaning for me. Of course it is Alfred Lord Tennyson's "In Memoriam." "I hold it true,what'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all." I think you have given the ultimate answer to this question of "what'er befall" with your own profound insights. You answer, in the last few lines, with such hard won clarity that I defy any to read these words without weeping: (It is) in your honour, A touch of your resonance, Perhaps left in me, of your light, That will guide me, And brighten the dark way, I still love you I still need you, All apparent to those that can see. That resonance comes through the piece with utmost effect. The poem is a magnificent testament to the love you shared with Paula, and I feel honored to have commented upon it. I cannot say more here just now, but will send you a separate email. Bravo! All my best, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-02-24 11:40:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
A strong poem, but I see several misspellings, and many of the line endings and other places would suffice with no comma. 1 m in tomorrow amidst, and lost it all or, [are the 2 "or"s intentional?] Or not to have loved, separation remembrance Its is in your honour, -[It is in or It's in?] I would check the capitalization, as well. Hope all of this does not discourage you. The poem, with these minor corrections, will be a fine work.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-02-24 11:27:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
stephen--First and foremost, sorry about the recent loss of your wife. Even without your notes, the title is indicative of a gloomy theme. However, the oxymoron (bitter sweet)used to begin the poem serves to invite a further investigation/read. Moreover, from the rhyming enjambments in lines #17 thru 20, I glean that you and the love of your life produced children: "Yet I remember promises made, About the care of the three, That through the 'rememberance of our love. They would learn to fly free." It's very apparent that you now plan living and making good on promises made (very redeeming): "It's in your honor. A touch of your resonance, Perhaps. Left in me, of your light, That will guide me, And brighten the dark way..." To write anything about the loss of a loved one would be most difficult, if not near impossible; you've put forth a great effort with a few syntax problems: because this is abundantly a free verse requiring no punctuation,in my opinion, an over use of commas/periods along with misspelled words (admist; seperation; remeberance; its is). Without being too critical, I found these minor hiccups distracted midly from an otherwise great read/tribute to your wife. Your composure is appreciated for the sharing of this personal painful piece. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-02-24 04:46:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62791
Poet......It is so good to see your posting this morning as I was able to enter the link.....trouble with computer lately........It seems to me your muse is not lost but has taken on a different form in which her Spirit does indeed live on forever which is reflected within the lines of your poem.......good structure, word flow allows for images, feelings, emotions, references to the children allow for life to continue into the next generation bringing Paula along with you all.........the life you shared together shall never leave your sweet memories, even the pain and suffering at the end of Paula's journey home......this is a wonderful tribute to the both of you, your life together, etc., and I look forward to more of your work when you are once again ready to post........be safe, God Bless, Claire

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