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This Poem was Submitted By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-08-11 17:25:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Red Sand

newborn agony grows; bitter anger rises; a newborn wound widens; the sea reddens, sending familiar blood to families of the beheaded the knife-hand was dark; the head of the man with his hand on the knife was dark – the turban white – the sand red.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-09-02 19:41:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Recent events have given us new images to ponder, and to write about. You have captured these latest atrocities in this succinct verse. I cannot think of a better way to express what you have...so I shall just tell you that you have done well, delivered your message with grace and style...difficult with such a subject. Be at peace.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2004-09-01 16:27:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Wayne, you have captured the pain of the families of these hostages who have been beheaded in you poem. Also, the vivid discriptions of the scene makes it very emotional and a strong poem. The white turban and red sand contrasting with all the darkness is realy good. Sandra

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-08-27 09:28:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.17857
The first four lines are quite vivid and to me contrasts nicely with the last six in that they are very descriptive, I particularly liked: a newborn wound widens; Thanks for letting me read it.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-08-23 18:43:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93750
Hi Wayne, I must tell you that when I read this piece it stabbed at my gut. The stark reality of your words are gut wrenching enough but when you understand that this is written based on the hideous truth it is even more so. 'A newborn wound widens'...yes who would have ever dreamed such a thing could happen.. certainly not that young man's family. I think the most defining words of the whole poem are...'turban white the sand red' these words will leave a lasting impression on all who read this. Well done! Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-08-19 09:44:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
Wayne, Nice use of the contrasting colors. Your creative use of the colors and/or color, dark, white, red, gives a certain power to the nouns "agony" and "anger" - it almost objectifies those emotions. Well done. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-08-13 04:09:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wayne--Totally gruesome and morbid, but quite true! This realism piece is an accurate portrayal of recent events that shocked and horrified most sections of the civilized world (the area where these atrocious acts took place have longed retaliated in this fashion). Once again a poet has stepped forward and painted a vivid image of man's inhumanity to his fellow man. Thanks for being the conscious beareer. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2004-08-11 19:42:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wayne... the staccato delivery of these powerful words are like ragged breaths of pain. Each and every word is necessary and there is no tautological expression here. You are a poet correspondent, reporting more than the image, more than the words. You leave me gasping and stunned as I'm sure were the families. The contrasts in colours paint the aggression with stark ugly reality. The sea reddens... not for the first time... and your words stir memories of years past, of pain shared by all nations who find themselves at the feet of an aggressor. when will we learn. The bloody sea that returns red to its roots hearkens back to historical references of first born sons and the times of struggle that have not changed all that much. Only the weapons change... and in this instance, the event could be timeless for you have made it universal with the knife. I was very moved and paused to reflect on man's inhumanity and what we can do about it..... write on.... Lynda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lennard J. McIntosh On Date: 2004-08-11 18:45:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Re: "Red Sand" Once again this writer tackles an issue of world-wide proportions, and does it successfully in a few poignant lines. The message conveyed by this ever-so-important poem could be missed if a reader fails to apply the ounce of discernment we all possess. The clues lie in a few select words and/or phrases: "a newborn wound; sending familiar blood to families of the beheaded; the turban white; the sand red." After the clues comes the discernment. When endeavoring to understand a poem it also helps to be familiar with the author's style. I am fairly-well aquaninted with the style of this particular poet, to the point that when he writes, I pay attention. This piece is consistent with his literary skill. Len McIntosh

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