This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-12-12 19:49:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Because I'm a Woman I used to think it awful to be me
black, woman, too often filled with misery
in a world of I cannot's and I dare not be's
I think it would be different to be a man
Because he escapes much of this tragedy
Just because he can
He lives, he falters and often he fails
But the world does not mock him
With rumors and tales
We are doused daily for trying our best
And the world never ceases
To put us to the fiery test
O, to be a man escaping needless pain
That somehow mankind seems to think
Is a woman's middle name
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Copyright © December 2004 Latorial D. Faison
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-04 13:10:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
when a poem captures an emotion and passes it on to the reader in all its fullness, the poem has really fullfilled its mission, such as yours does here. thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-12-28 17:50:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh good one Latorial, however is this not a bit of a "Poor me" attitude? Right now I am thinking
of a book I'm reading called, "Madam Secretary" by Albright. I am also thinking of the Black
woman who has risen up so highly in your government Condoleeza Rice. What makes these women
different? Thanks for sharing your views.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-12-27 20:58:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Latorial,
This is what I like about your entries, you write in truth and with your heart, never afraid to reveal your inner feelings. Just critiqued Turner’s “Duality” and to read another issues regarding “man” and “woman” justified (somehow) the existing invisible differences (discriminations?) between genders. I used to think if I was born as a female…what life would be for me? I can see a lot of limitations...one is physical strength, the curse of giving birth, job opportunities, privileges, etc. These can summarize the many things that you can think of. By this, I tried to be thankful of the blessings that God has given me as a “man”...to be responsible and also not to use this in my own advantage and instead respect and accept individuals.
Yes, discrimination is diverse in many forms, from gender to race, to age to authority and wealth, from job positions to education. I can feel the “expectations”, “fiery tests” and “rumors” you been saying, “man” or “woman” in nature. Even you are a man or woman, I think there are some disadvantages but also some advantages. Probably what we can do is use that advantages positively and to ask strength and hold on to our faith when those disadvantages come. It could make us stronger and determine to overcome those difficulties.
Thanks for sharing your insights with boldness and honesty. I like the playful words you say:
“O, to be a man escaping needless pain
That somehow mankind seems to think
Is a woman's middle name”
--- Unforgettable!
As always,
Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-12-18 11:25:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial--There's nothing complicated about this five stanza of rhyming tercets.
This is pretty straight forward and smacks of history. Personally, I'd like to
think a small hole has been placed in the 'glass ceiling,' but, will never pretend
that a double standard has not always existed and still does when involving the
'fairer sex.' Noone with mothers, sisters, aunts or neices could deny these uni-
versial truths in your post. You've addressed a genuine societal concern that has
wide ranging implications. Thanks for keeping it real. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-12-17 10:45:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
O, to be a woman
with her power over all
children, men and even the mall
I could take the pain
that I face everyday
and turn the sunshine into rain
Woman are known to protect our world
quietly, thoughfully
with hardly a word
Us big brutish men
can never compete
with sweet dispositions again and again
As a man in my ignorance
I will remain
captured by the natural fragrance
of women in pain.
Sorry, I digress...
It was a pleasure reading your well constructed poem that seemed to flow naturally as if written quickly with the moment's emotions as a catalyst, and also with such a strong message. I truly respect all cultures, races, sexes (though I used to be homophobic) and I can sincerely understand what you are writing about.
I love the ending, but I may have been a bit stronger in my viewpoint by changing "seems to think" with "has given to us"...as a middle name....or something along those lines, but I relaize that would leave less to the imagination.
By the way, you are right...I know many women whose middle name is pain.
I don't stop by TPL often, but when I do it is wonderful to be greeted with a poem that has a point and is entertaining.
mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-12-14 22:09:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial, I have emailed you my critique. I do thank you for making me think. Please read my critique before grading.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2004-12-12 23:49:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial,
the playing field is still not level, and the rules dished out by society are still skewed, none the
less there are signs of positive movement in both racial and gender equality. Hopefully, as long as there continues to be voices demanding true equity, we will one day be truly equal in all aspects of our lives on
the planet. Frustration with injustice ring thru this piece, with an almost vehement pessimism directed at
men. Some are extremely conscious of your concerns. Having two teenage daughters, I find myself constantly
encouraging them to excell, compete, and never take no for an answer when they think gender is a consideration of how they were treated or judged. I know many men of the same ilk, and some overboard in their
approach to these issues. I think we are all mocked, unjustly judged and put to fiery tests as we go through
our lives, and have no disagreement with the "presence of injustice." I just thought you should know you have aware, compassionate brothers in your corner. Your structure here works well with the message, and keeps the reader
attentive to the theme. The rhyme scheme might be adjusted a bit, but all in all it serves its purpose. Keep "movin and shaken".Some will take notice and start listening. You've got my vote.
Peace, Paul
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