This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-01-02 18:51:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Birthday Psalm

She came to me, through the stillness of the night. Clothed with radient delights, her aura was shining bright. She has a touch so gentle, a blend of gossamer and butterfly silk. Fingertips on my skin, tracing a pattern intricate and infinite. She teases and tantalises my senses, she has a smell so sublime. Lips tasting of a real fine wine, I'm so suprised that this creature is now mine. Clasping palms together, I raise a prayer of thanks to the heavens. That the darkness shall fade, my face will once again feel the warmth of day. Shadows joined, cast long under the heat and gaze of the sun. This song has now begun!
Copyright © January 2005 stephen g skipper

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-02-04 08:50:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88000
Hi Stephen, Your Paula came to you in a night dream...with all her beauty and tenderness. Your need for her is all consuming and, as you know, I too dream of my late husband. The words you use to give us the image of this sublime visit are so lovely and brought a lump to my throat....clothed with radiant delights ..her aura was shining bright...I love this image...a blend of gossamer and butterfly silk...this may br my favorite line..if I had to pick one which is almost impossible to do in this wonderful tribute to Pula. Yes the darkness will fade and you will feel the warmth of the sun. The days will pass and you will gain strength as you go. There will be times when the loneliness and solitude will scream at you and you will want to scream back and say "why...why" Her memory will never fade from your mind but in time you will be able to put those memories aside and go on because you must. I visit my memories often but not in a morbid sense but just for the warm feeling they give me. We can't bring them back but we will always have our memories to give us comfort. I recently had back surgery and I would have given anything to have my husband holding my hand through that ordeal...but then I think he was. A lovely tribute to the memory of Paula....glad to see you are writing again because it will help you heal...I know that for certain. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-01-31 17:59:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Stephen: This lovely poem seems to have come from a dream. Although who can say whether or not we have contact from our loved ones in spirit while we are asleep and thus more receptive? I've had 'dreams' of loved ones, and then 'dreams' which seemed more vivid, more memorable than ordinary dreams. I think that only the one experiencing this event knows whether or not it is true for them. I also think that it is wonderful that you have shared your joy with us. You've shared pain and sorrow here, as well as your great love for Paula; now you share something which can only be termed as joyous reunion! "The song has now begun!" "She came to me, through the stillness of the night." This indications are that this happened during a dream, while the speaker was sleeping. "Clothed with (radiant) delights, her aura was shining bright." These two lines above seem to have been part of the speaker's vision. This radiant being, with her aura "shining bright" gives the impression of an angelic-like being, but with very human attributes. "She has a touch so gentle, a blend of gossamer and butterfly silk. Fingertips on my skin, tracing a pattern intricate and infinite." Again, the speaker hints that this was an other-worldly visitor. "She teases and tantalises my senses, she has a smell so sublime." American spelling is 'tantalizes' but European/Canadian spelling is, of course, as you have it here. "Lips tasting of a real fine wine, I'm so (surprised) that this creature is now mine." Even within the dream-state, the dreamer realizes that the contact is 'real' and registers surprise. I believe that this somewhat conscious state during sleep is called 'lucid dreaming' if I am not mistaken. "Clasping palms together, I raise a prayer of thanks to the heavens." The reverence of this poem is as uplifting as the joy which the speaker shares with readers. "That the darkness shall fade, my face will once again feel the warmth of day." The wonder of it, that we will not be permanently separated from our loved ones! These lines above speak to the indestructible nature of love. "Shadows joined, cast long under the heat and gaze of the sun." The insubstantial or ephemeral nature of the contact is suggested in the lines above. It isn't permanent, you seem to show us here, but only a preview of things to come. Nevertheless: "This song has now begun!" WONDERFUL! Thank you, Stephen, for another tribute to your beloved Paula. And may the song continue. I hope I have not misconstrued your intent for this piece. All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-01-25 09:30:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82143
This is beautiful Stephen written from the deepest portion of your heart and soul.......you speak of your wife within the lines and the memory of the two of you together are so very real......she comes to you and she will always be with you my friend and this is such a lovely tribute on one's birthday.......nice structure, great choice of words for they flow as the honey and bring forth images of beauty like none else....thanks for sharing this with us, if it is your birthday then happy birthday my friend and if not then happy unbirthday to you.........she smiles down upon you, she stands by your side, she will forever be within the lining of your heart. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2005-01-22 21:30:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Stephen, It’s nice to see another romantic poetry from you Stephen…it’s been quite awhile since we heard from you. How are you my friend? Ah…this is again one of the many series of your eternal offerings to your wife Paula...as always your words are inspiring and elevating. Your words are lyrically brilliant, especially these lines: “She has a touch so gentle, a blend of gossamer and butterfly silk.” Fingertips on my skin, tracing a pattern intricate and infinite. --- Enjoyed the “i” alliteration of intricate and infinite. She teases and tantalises my senses, she has a smell so sublime. --- Unforgettable! Another standout phrase! Lips tasting of a real fine wine, I'm so suprised that this creature is now mine. --- The rhyming “ine” is contagious. Another beauty! Overall, this is a wonderful read! You are very in good in this…continue to shower us with the goodness of life inspite of some bad circumstances. You see things in a positive light... My only advice is to place your work first in Microsoft Word before posting here in TPL to check the right spellings…(noticeable are radient (radiant), tantalises (tantalizes) and suprised (surprised). Otherwise, this is perfection! As always, Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kelly Denise LaBeff On Date: 2005-01-17 02:25:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Poet, not only did you raise a prayer of thanks to the heavens, but you also heightened your reader’s senses past the peak of the mount. Well done on the visuals and kuddo compliments go to you also for enlightening your reader’s nose, imploring the imagination to explore the sensuality of scent romanticized by touch. “Shadows joined” offers a wondrous display of erotic fusion...strong point of image! Your psalm was descriptively Illustrative in every aspect. Your song has begun, well done! Kelly OOPS, I nearly forgot, poet, check your spelling with care so you don't wind your readers up righty-tighty instead of lefty-loosey, which may make them put too much focus on words spelled incorrectly like yours: radiant, surprised, and tantalizes! Okay? Good, great job again!
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-06 15:42:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
this poem reads a long so prettily that it makes one think its too sweet to be substantial, which would be a mistake I think, lines such as; Fingertips on my skin, tracing a pattern intricate and infinite. gives the reader reason to pause and think about such patterns that passion would inspire, differant ones for every reader I'm sure; Thanks for giving me reason to pause and ponder.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-01-02 20:50:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Stephen, I think we all need a birthday psalm. The metaphor of a doting woman, who meets you on your birthday, to the coming of dawn, that caresses your life is a fine comparison. A Birthday Psalm She came to me, through the stillness of the night. – I can almost see woman/day, wending her way through the darkness of night, knowing, the warmth and zeal she will bring to me on my birthday. Clothed with radient (radiant) delights, her aura was shining bright. She has a touch so gentle, a blend of gossamer and butterfly silk. – You paint an enchanting picture, the webs floating on air, the silkworm, to be formed into a butterfly, and the touch “so gentle”. Both the countenance of a beautiful woman, and the glow of face and sun are alive in this stanza. Fingertips on my skin, tracing a pattern intricate and infinite. She teases and tantalises (tantalizes) my senses, she has a smell so sublime. – When threads are woven, they are woven in “intricate patterns”, and the closer you get to the pattern, the lest distinct it becomes, but the more the pattern is observed, the more it tantalizes. I wonder what would happen if we bottled the scent of early morn, and daubed it behind the ears of a beautiful woman, either way, both smell equsite. Lips tasting of a real fine wine, I'm so suprised (surprised) that this creature is now mine. – Amen, and we are alive for another birthday, so the applause. Clasping palms together, I raise a prayer of thanks to the heavens. That the darkness shall fade, my face will once again feel the warmth of day. Shadows joined, cast long under the heat and gaze of the sun. – As the days pass, in a sense the coming of dawn, love, and birthdays become more a ritual of “resilience” and pleasure. Here is the heat of sun, and surprising reward of love, how poignant. This song has now begun! – So it has!! Stephen, I do appreciate your piece. I believe, come a birthday, it would be a psalm well worth a repeat!!
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