This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2003-11-12 15:28:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Old Friend

I miss my Mutt today I wish I could look in his eyes they were big and brown soft as love he would stay by my side  when push came to shove. He dealt with his hard life of pain never once did he complain he was one of a kind the best you’ll find… He was born a crippled little runt with two deformed legs up in front a hole in his lung rejected by his mom so little strength but so much aplomb, the vet said “you put him down now” my wife said “no way and no how” she fed him eye droppers and played tug of war mutt’s legs grew strong playing ‘til he was sore. Finally he became well his past you could barely tell he was as fast as any four legged friend he was the best damn dog until the very end. When I carried him outside to pee holding on and waiting for me our number one son never in pain except in the end when he showed the strain... Oh the names our little mutt had he would answer to them all Muster and Smutt, Spiker Cee Kay Pie we’ve called him Colonel,  and Sweet Butternut but most of the time we just called him Mutt. He was truly low-maintenance  and so hassle free a better dog there never will be- and through the very end he was our best friend...                                           

Copyright © November 2003 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2003-11-27 22:04:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.75000
Dear Mark, I so enjoyed this work. I love my two dogs and can identify with the feelings that come out in this poem. My little dog, always knows when I have a bad day and she is right there on my lap to cuddle with me and lick my face. My big dog will set at my feet and look at me with those big brown eyes of his and I know that he is there to comfort and protect me. I do so appreciate their companionship. They are my best friends, and I love them like family. Thanks for sharing your story of Mutt with us. Sherri

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-22 14:27:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Mark, you just proved in this piece that the interesting line that goes a dog is a man's best friend. I like the playful atmosphere of your piece as you told about some interesting actions and features of Mutt. The name is cute in itself. He is like a dear son for you! Your descriptions here just flow nicely from the beginning 'til the end with some of the rhyme schemes. I admire the dog as you described here: "He dealt with his hard life of pain never once did he complain". He is such a strong dog! Though, he was born a crippled little runt. How pitiful he is when his mother left him alone! I can think of one of the kids in the street begging for food with no home. But thanks to his savior who gave him food, shelter and rescue. I find these lines funny! "the vet said "you put him down now" my wife said "no way and no how" I can remember when I was a little child I am fond of hugging a puppy and putting it on my lap as if he was a little brother of mine. I really enjoyed the read and the reminishing thoughts you have told us about your dear Mutt, he is indeed a man's best friend. Thanks for sharing. Jordan.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-20 21:26:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60870
How very touching a tribute to such a wonderful member of your family......nicely structured, words bring this little guy to life and one can see him from birth on up........even watching your wife feed and nurture the little mutt with the eye drops....a task of love right from the start.......I'm not sure how long you had Mutt with you but it seems like he was your best friend for some time......and when he knew his time was about over he still loved you as much if not more then you both loved is never easy to let go of someone you love and to me that includes our animal friends as well.......the love you shared shall remain within your heart forever my friend.......I bet there is a doggie heaven and he is watching over you as I type....thanks for posting and sharing this with us was not easy to write but well worth the safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-11-18 09:21:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
HI Mark, I love this poem about your beloved Mutt. If not for you and your wife this helpless little pup would have never known life or love. In S2 you tell us the afflictions Mutt endured which will break the heart of all dog lovers. The dog my husband and I had, lived about six years after the death of my husband...she died in my arms. That was three years ago and now my kids decided I needed another pet so they found a two year old Dachshund. I really did not want another pet because I don't think I can endure the grief if I lose her, however I did not realize how lonely I was until I got her. I really laughed when you wrote how many names Mutt responded to...I think that is amazing! He may have just been a dog but to you there will never be a friend just like him. Liked this easy to relate to...the rhyming is easy and pleasing to the ear...good job Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-11-16 16:35:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Oh I had a dog like that once, and also called him Mutt. I can empathize with you on this one. Your syntax is a little off in some places. Second stanza..."she fed him eye droppers..." must have hurt. What you mean is that she fed him with an eye dropper or from an eye dropper. An example of syntax would be the second to last line thusly... and through the very end and through to the very end he was our best friend... he was - our very best friend! Take care, and thanks for sharing (coulda been a tear jerker).
This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-11-14 02:27:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
hey mark, this is a lovely poem. you must love your doggie so much you were able to write a poem about him. this is cute. im sure youve also read it to him and he loved it.however, i would like to make one little suggestion. below is your poem. i enclosed in parentheses some of the words. please erase them coz i believe theyre to much already.two lines i suggested words that you can replace those that i enclosed in parentheses and i wrote them in big letters.i hope you will enjoy revising your poem.thanks for sharing it. take care.april Old Friend I miss (my) Mutt today I wish I could look in his eyes they (we)re big and brown soft as love he would stay by my side when push came to shove. He dealt with (his) hard life of pain never once did (he) complain he was one of a kind the best you’ll find… He was born a crippled (little) runt with two deformed legs (up) in front (a) hole in his lung rejected by his mom so little strength but so much aplomb, the vet said “(you) put him down now” my wife said “no way and no how” she fed him eye droppers (and) played tug of war mutt’s legs grew strong playing ‘til (he was) sore. Finally heS (became) well his past you could barely tell he was as fast as any four legged friend (he was) the best damn dog until the (very) end. When I carried him outside to pee holding on (and)waiting for me our number one son never in pain except in the end when he showed the strain... Oh the names our little mutt had he would answer to them all Muster and Smutt, Spiker Cee Kay Pie we’ve called him Colonel, (and) Sweet Butternut but most of the time (we just called him)HE IS Mutt. He was truly low-maintenance (and) so hassle free (a)better dog there never will be- and through the very end he was our best friend...
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandra J Kelley On Date: 2003-11-12 16:23:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Mark, thank you for sharing the memories you have of your dog.The details like the deformed legs and playing tug of war let the reader see this dog the way that you saw him which makes this a terrific poem. When I carried him outside to pee is a terriffic line, it shows a moment of such tenderness and really allows us to see the relationship you two shared.Thank you, Sandra
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