This Poem was Submitted By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2004-01-09 02:02:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Minipo’ms (inspired by Bienvenido N. Santos)

I. I was having a glass of milk when I saw my poetry yawning; drag yourself out and catch a cupful of sunlight, I told it but it groaned and  held on tight to its pyjamas and the next thing I knew it went back to bed and was snoring to  my face. II. My poems slept and dreamed of the  Statue of Liberty and the  Golden Gate;  when they awoke they were wearing stars and stripes and had snowballs in their hands.

Copyright © January 2004 April Rose Ochinang Claessens

Additional Notes:
this is in honor of the late poet, Bienvenido N. Santos whose minipo'ms has inspired me to write my own version.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-27 08:00:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56364
Thank you for the posting of this very special Filipino-American writing. I had to go in search of the man himself and take it into reading then I was able to see that he was motivated to write through his experiences thus he may have attracted many new readers to this form. It appears to me he had a most definite influence and touch on the Filipino-American literary community. I will most likely dig a little deeper into this form of writing which is most pleasant. Your poem is well structured, the words flow bringing the reader images as one proceeds the second stanza in which the Golden Gate Bridge and Statue of Liberty join together and the snow ball effect since one is in a warm climate most of the time and the other sharing four seasons.....interesting.... snowballs might have been the last object I would have thought they to be holding but then why not.....Again, thanks for posting and sharing this with us and to having introduced us to this form of writing. Looking forward to another of your personal pieces soon. Be safe, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-21 01:07:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.73333
Thanks for awaking me to this poet, whom I have not heard of previously. I like it very much, and if the style of poem is similar, then I will need to check it out. I very much like the inventive imagery of this poem, and how I see my own poetry is sometimes sleeping under the surface, where it will later surprise me and come out. It's a very cool way of saying that, if indeed I got your point right. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-19 11:51:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hey April, this is good stuff! What a nice tribute and I have to be honest and say I have never read anything by Santos til I read your poems here. The first one is quite an energetic and joyful piece that is unique in my humble opinion. It's fresh and alive and everything I want poetry to be. The second one is more of the same except I had trouble connecting what the snowballs had to do with it. I'm sure this is probably because of some ignorance on my part, but please explain this to me. At any rate I enjoyed these immensely. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-01-15 15:34:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear April: I haven't yet read poems of Bienvenido's, but be assured that I am now about to seek them out. Your poem is intriguing and enjoyable - filled with surprising imagery. I think that that fine quality alone is well worth the read. But your work has much more to commend it, in this reader's view. I. I was having a glass of milk when I saw my poetry yawning; --what I meant by surprise! drag yourself out and catch a cupful of sunlight, I told it but it groaned and held on tight to its pyjamas and the next thing I knew it went back to bed and was snoring to my face. I absolutely LOVE the image of your poetry as "it groaned and/held on tight to its pyjamas"! You bring it alive on the page with this personification. This is a poet's poem, and as such especially delightful. It is laugh aloud droll - how dare it snore to your face! It made its own little joke by allowing this poem to come out to play, however. We are the richer for it. II. My poems slept and dreamed of the Statue of Liberty and the Golden Gate; when they awoke they were wearing stars and stripes and had snowballs in their hands. Indeed! So much of the nation is covered deep in snow, it's no wonder your poems dreamed found playful delight in forming them, ready to toss at the reader's blinking eyes. Now I long to find some Santos poems. This one, which its wry characterizations and colorful, lively images intrigues me greatly. I believe it deserves an "A+" for originality and for making us smile. Now we are going to be the wiser and richer for the poem itself, and for your introduction of the minipo'ms to us. Thank you for this whimsical, lilting interlude! I feel happier for having come this way. All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Leo Wilder On Date: 2004-01-15 13:08:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Nice touch. Not a critique, just a note to say I liked it. Leo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-01-12 13:00:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
april rose, I was not familiar with Bienvenido when I first read your lovely tribute. I have since read some of his work and marvel at the picturesque directness of his writing. I think you have captured it well in this work. The imagery is so immediate and powerful. You have served your inspiration well. Please continue, Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-11 23:25:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi april, Oh, this is something a craft from a Filipino talent! Yup, I know of the late Bienvenido N. Santos and his works are great! THanks to him that you was inspired. As always, you used images that are visualized concretely and your linguistics is a quality to consider. It is not a wonder that you have such exotic pieces because as you told me you wrote before you learned to cross the streets. This is no pun! Keep it up! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-10 20:03:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thank you for the introduction to Filipino-American writing. It is clear after having read some of Mr. Santos' work this afternoon that he was motivated to write through his experiences and that his simple yet complete writing style may have attracted many new readers to this genre and most definitely had an influence on the Filipino-American literary community. I have bookmarked some more of his writing on the web...thanks again. Regarding your poem; it is a short pleasant read that had a surprise ending; snowballs were the last thing I would have thought they would be holding...shows how much I know. I truly can't offer you any critique that would improve this special piece. It is perfect as is. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-01-09 18:10:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I'm not familiar with Mr. Santos and will have to look into his stuff. I do like the humour it brings forth of holding the p.j.'s and dragging itself back to bed! In the second stanza should not the word "dreamed" be "dreamt"? I'm not quite sure of the significance of the stars and stripes, etc. and snowballs. It does sound off the wall but then most dreams are! Thank you for this piece.
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