This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2004-01-09 20:25:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © January 2004 Michael Bird
I found a card one day
It was in the trash ,the rubbish ,
Just thrown away
I gazed at it with awe
It was beautiful , and clean
Just waiting to be seen
Angels with trumpets hovering above
To guide your way into heaven`s glove
Gracefully , on the wings of a dove
Angels at your side
To protect you from satan`s evil ride
The card expertly made with pride
To announce the day you died
Oh , Elza Ann
Nigh over a hundred years now
Since you were laid to rest
A single flower upon your breast
Your mother and father
Loved you oh so dear
To have a card embossed
That reads crystal clear
How your life of nineteen years
Will be sadly missed among the tears
Perhaps someday I will come your way
It will be bright and sunny ,and I will lay
A wreath of flowers at your feet
The sorrow will be oh so sweet
Yes , I will do that if I can
Rest peacefully Eliza Ann
reading from the card:
In loving memory of Eliza Ann ,the beloved daughter of Richard and Ellen Boswell ,
of Churchbridge ,who departed this life Feb 18th ,1900 ,aged 19 years ,Interred at
Oldbury Cemetery ,feb 24th
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-22 17:46:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Hi Michael ,
I've nevered critiqued your work before, but I am trying to reach out more
and I was so taken with this lovely tribute to Eliza Ann, I just had to respond.
The title is intriguing which hooked this reader to find out more.
Another intriguing thing is the rhyme. It is dispersed throughout the poem nicely,
but without a scheme. Now I know some might find this distracting, but actually
it makes it more informal, giving a more comfortable feel to the piece, which suits
me quite well.
It sems quite a miracle to find such a treasure in the trash. Something that old
would be a family keepsake , I would think. What luck to have found it!
First stanza glides into the story so easily just like a hand in a glove.
The rhymes of day/away and clean/seen are an easy fit.
The second stanza is touching when we find out that Eliza Ann died, yet someone loved her and
wanted to remember her as being guided into heaven by angels. I especially like your phrasing
"heaven's glove". That is such a comforting thought. The protection of heavens glove! There is
awesome imagry in these lines! Your rhymes of above/glove/dove and side/ride/pride/died remind me of a song where the notes are so clear and ring one after the other like a bell choir playing a hym.
The image of Eliza Ann in stanza three is sad but vivid and again you have rhyme with rest/breast.
It gets meloncolie to think of how young she was and how it must have broke her parents hearts
to lose her at such a young age. The rhymes of dear/clear years/tears in stanza four continue the song of love.
Stanza five shows us how much this card has touched your heart, that you would think of visiting
her grave to pay further tribute. With way/lay, feet/sweeet, can/Ann you end with more musical
rhyme. It is like an almost cheerful end as you suggest it will include sun and flowers.
I found this piece to have an old fashioned victorian style flavor which I especially enjoyed.
Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute. I hope to read more of your poetry in the near future.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-21 00:45:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.73333
I like in this poem to be reminded again (as I am so often here) how such a small thing can blossom into such a depth of feeling and imagination. Just that thought is enough to begin myself thinking of how I would respond to such a thing and to hear the imagination of another in that is one of the wonderful things about this place. I am liking it more and more as I go along. One small critique is the apparent misspelling of the Eliza Ann. I wasn't sure if the poem was meant to reflect two people here, so it confused the otherwise finely made point.
It says for me more about the poet than the young girl, as so little is known of her, yet we know that the poet is an empathetic person of the highest order to reach back so far, and come away with something to show the world. Well done.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-01-12 18:02:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What a beautiful card, that encompasses so much of persons long dead, but who at the time of mortal existence felt that pain of losing the bright star that shone in their lives.
Wonderfully written description of the loveliest card, the incorporated rhyme, strikes a lyyrical spiritual rhythm, it's almost as if the finding of the card was a part of the written text intended for your life's blood. Your rhyme isn't sappy, it application allows the read to feel the love the pain, the committment, once a situition as finding the card becomes a part of the writer, and the whole lyrical piece is projected with a very quiet, respectful rememberance.
This poem Michael speaks a lot of the writers spritual, and emotional makeup, as such it's a highly remarkable
poem that strikes at the emotional cord, no matter the time frame, families loved, and pained at so grevious a loss. lucky you found the card, to preserve the memory of people long gone. The irony uis that even today these situition envole, and regardless of the time frame, we are all emotional beings. Your entry is wonderful, straight foreward, honest and full of spiritual emotions. I just lost my last Aunt, she passed away two days ago, and had her final funeral Mass and burial today, so the poem has affected my emotional makeup in a way that causes the eyes to stink with tears that come voluntarily, very emotional, but wonderful tribute you shared here. Absolutely wonderful..Best regards always, Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-10 23:55:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
It certainly must have been a beautiful card to behold.....did you keep it once found? I like the structure of this piece, the word flow is superb as well allowing the reader to be there with you as you have read the card and found the meaning behind it.....can you imagine finding something so perfect and beautiful and sol old in age as well......must have been kept within a family for years and perhaps someone bought the old family home and all its contents and was cleaning out when the card was thrown into the dumpster......the second stanza with the angels reads perfect for those that believe in angels and life after death........nineteen years old so very young to leave this world.......you did a superb job creating this one Michael and if by chance you knew the family I am sure they would love a copy of this......Thank you for posting and sharing it with us. Be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-01-09 22:03:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What a lovely piece you have written about 'Eliza Ann!' The rhyming
throughout is so musical as it flows easily from one line to the
other...never forced or akward. The first stanza lets us know that
the card about Eliza is beautiful and clean even tho it is found in
rubbish. In S2 you have written such wonderful phrases about this young
girl and her card..."Angels with trumptes hovering above to guide your
way to heaven's glove"...I love this line...wish I had thought of it.
..."angels at your side to protect you from Satans evil ride" In S3 you
tell us she has been gone for over 100 years and was laid to rest with
a single flower on her breast. In S4 you tell us this unfortunate child
was but 19 years old when she died and how much she was loved and missed.
I imagine 100 years ago there were many young people that died and are
laid to rest in old cemeterys...what stories those graves could tell!
I am especially enamored with the last stanza where you tell Eliza Ann
that if you come her way you will lay a wreath of flowers at her feet..
..."yes, I will do that if I can...rest peacefully Eliza Ann" I have
read his poem several times just to say the rhyme out loud because even
tho it is about a sad event it has such a soothing sound. I only have
one question...how could the card be in the trash if it is so old??
Loved this one as I am sure you can tell!
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