This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-11-07 02:29:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Senior Moments

Lord, you’ve always known what’s best for me. You’ve brought me to this place, in old age I can’t deny. I wonder if you hear - my whispers in the night as I pray. This bed is white- with rails on the sides, and Lord, It’s cold in here. Lord, you’ve sent Beth the tired lady with aching legs in Every morning with watery eggs - she spoons them into my mouth. Sometimes I can feel them dried on my chin, but I won’t complain. Beth promised to raise the shade on my window, but could you remind her Lord - it’s been three weeks now since I’ve seen the sky. Lord, do you remember me in younger years?  Long dark chestnut Curls and my favorite black dress?  I lived well for you Lord, so I feel certain there’s a reason that I lay here today - tomorrow - perhaps all year I’m certain there is a blessing for me here - and a lesson to learn. Patience I’m sure - having to wait so long to be carried to the bathroom. Lord, sometimes the angels sit and sing to me - and I drift off to a nap. Agnes the lady who stays here at night has taken all my new nightclothes. I know you’ve blessed her well with them - I won’t tell anyone Lord. This one I’m wearing is my favorite - anyway. Agnes does fluff my pillow for me and sprinkle powder on my chest. Lord, I’m tired and weak and I love you most of all.  I hope you are still watching over my children - as busy as they are They still find time to mail me things and stop by once a year. My roommate Margaret doesn’t remember her family, but I do. Lord, please bless the world tonight and keep me in your light. I need to close my eyes now and rest up for tomorrow.  I’m scheduled for the hair salon, my favorite time of the month. All of us in our wheelchairs, sit for hours smiling at each other. How nice we look when we’re done. Lord, you’ve always known what’s best for me -  I’m safe under your care and grace. Thank you for my Wonderful life and leading me to such a wonderful place.

Copyright © November 2004 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-29 14:55:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
At the end of this one I just wanted to say Amen, its quit a remarkable prayer/poem Thanks for letting me read and comment.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-16 19:04:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, I'm thinking you are [50 years old] in a nursing home? Why so young/there? Excuse me, I'm flabergasted to know this. I'm glad you feel ok/happy? even when someone steals your clothes? Are you Really all right? I know spirtually you are. I think women tend to be self sacrificing to a fault... take care, dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-11-16 17:02:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi DeniMari, As I read this piece a lump formed in my throat and grew larger the more read. I have seen the desolation and depression of old people in nursing homes and it is heart breaking. I was forced to put my own mother in one but she was only there for two weeks before she passed away. I was working a full time job but I went to see her every evening and spent hours with her on the week ends. It was a horrible time in my life as I felt so helpless...she had fallen and suffered a brain injury so I was never sure if she always knew where she was. I must believe you have been very closely associated with a nursing home, in some way, as you have given a perfect picture of this sweet little lady...unfortunately not all the residents there are as nice as the lady in your poem. She has accepted that fact that she is in the best place for her and that the Lord found this place....'and Lord it's cold in here'...this line was just gut wrenching probably because of all the talk about how nursing homes neglect their patients. Then our lady speaks of Beth who feeds her runny eggs and leaves some on her chin and who promised to raise the window shade but has not so she asks the Lord to remind Beth to do so. This is so sad...I can hardly bear it. Then she asks the Lord if he remembers her when she was young and there is no relief of sadness for this reader in those lines. When you speak f Agnes who has taken all her night clothes it reminds me that someone did that to my mother and I had just bought everything new for her. I was out-raged but it did no good.... ...'thank you for such a wonderful life and leading me to this wonderful place' Unless you meant to or not the sarcasm drips from most of these lines...I don't belive I have ever heard anyone describe a nursing home as a wonderful place. But the lady you write about is very unusal because even in her old age with all its aches and pains she does not complain but makes the best of all that surrounds her. This is a beautiful poem full of the sadness of aging...well done...bravo Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-11-16 09:37:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Dear DeniMari, The tone of your title does not match the intensity of this poem (IMHO). A sad and beautiful prayer. I bawled my eyes out reading this. My Mom was in a nursing home and passed away there 6 years ago. After about six months of living there she told me she was ready and waiting to pass on. It killed me to watch her suffer and I often wondered if she was neglected or abused there. One night she fell out of bed and broke her hip and laid on the floor for hours before being discovered. I was a divorced Mom of three children, who had to work and felt so guilty about letting my Mom stay there. You write this as though you have experienced it and give us a glimpse of what it is like to be at the end of our lives. And again we have to ask ourselves. Are we able to trust God this much... Thanks for writing this and sharing it with others. IT's a poignant, important message. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-11-10 01:17:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I hope I’m this bright when I’m elderly. This poem brought tears to my eyes. I could see the place as it is and I can see it the way she chooses to see it. Even though it is a dark place, and a dark time in her life, her light shines and I’ll remember seeing it. I’ve always said that I could live without my body working right as long as my mind stayed cleared. I’m changing that to clear and bright. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem! Kay Technical thing: The third stanza you have a line that seems way too long. Maybe it pasted wrong.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-11-07 14:03:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I am unsure what to say to this piece. There is a tranquility that resounds, but an underlying sadness throughout. I do not know if I want to be that person, if I have the strength, or if I hope that it isn't me, for I don't have the strength to withstand the dissappointments. You end the first stanza with "It's cold in here". Although I can see the cold of age and of a "old folks home" trying to save money by improper heating, I feel this is more a metaphor to the whole poem. Here is the person, thanking the lord, but the "coldness" of lonliness and lack of respect, mirrors the cold in the hands and feet. "it’s been three weeks now since I’ve seen the sky", in this line I wonder at not seeing the sky and nature, but also it seems a memory walk of "llfe" daily reminding of what is gone and will not be recaptured. Lord, I’m tired and weak and I love you most of all. (Seems a longing to be loved, knowing it appears only he remains "actively" loving. I hope you are still watching over my children - as busy as they are They still find time to mail me things and stop by once a year. My roommate Margaret doesn’t remember her family, but I do. (I remember my family, such a searing of my soul listening to this verse. The grace, the grace, what to do without the grace). Thank you for my Wonderful life and leading me to such a wonderful place One wonders unless one sees the "seat of grace". Maybe angels have sung, and tomorrow grants a seat with the Lord, but also if tomorrow is another cold day, there is the "seat of grace" that honors the soul. This piece touched, reassured, and saddened me. A well written piece.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!