Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2005-03-15 21:27:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

PROMISES

Calm seas, calm skies. Wind blows from the south. Spring will come tomorrow. I am sure. Promise me this… Happiness floats like sea gulls in the ocean air. You can fly in your dreams. You can dream when you sleep. Promise me this… Find peace when you sleep- the peace that poets seek- the final knowledge that life is good. Promise me this… The world has a chance to be right. The mountains are right. The sunlight is right. The moon rises full tomorrow. If night comes without her it promises only darkness.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-03-28 13:31:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.32000
Promise me this that tomorrow there will be no wars that hunger will be vanquished that disease will be conquered that husbands will not be monsters Promise me this and I will only promise you daylight, and life without fear and then I will show you the Kingdom of Heaven. So...you made me think...which is good. Thank you. Well laid out. Made sense. but I'd change the title. I'm one of those poets who believes that the title should not appear in the body of work.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-03-23 22:40:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.44000
I truly love your style, in this one and the last one of yours that I critiqued just a little while ago. I really like the way you use the phrase "Promise me this..." repeatively to bring your ideas to view throughout the poem. Especially like this part "Promise me this… Happiness floats like sea gulls in the ocean air. You can fly in your dreams." I fly in my dreams often. In this you wish for the promise for all things wonderful, and "she" is what will make it so..thus the last 2 "If night comes without here it promises only darkness"..I think that is such a powerful way to end this poem, abruptly and final "the nightmare" if she does not come.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-03-19 16:25:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Edwin, Hi, It feels to me like your saying, Life holds good so be positive. It seems to me your talking to your daughter. your examples feel more feminine; you can dream, fly, springs coming.and if night comes without [her] It's as if you want to gaurantee wonderfulness. For this one you love. Good visuals.....water/mountains/sky The poems a little unclear to me. I'm not sure what your promising whom what. It gives alot to chew on. Happy day, Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-03-18 02:02:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Edwin, Such beautiful free flowing writing full of communicable beauty and the feeling of life. I don't know how else to say it. I have to work slowly through this just to pick up the sound of your voice and appreciate the emphasis of the lines. Calm seas, calm skies. Wind blows from the south. Spring will come tomorrow. I am sure. The repetition of "calm" kind of sets a cadence for the poem in it's short line free form. These four lines work well together to further establish that rhythm. God, how I long for spring. We're gonna get 12 inches of snow tomorrow. I wish I could be "sure" it's ever going to come. Promise me this… Happiness floats like sea gulls in the ocean air. You can fly in your dreams. You can dream when you sleep. I really like the sound of "You can fly in your dreams. You can dream when you sleep." That's gorgeous. It's amazing that you can sleep, dream and fly all at once. I really like the way you turned this phrase. Promise me this… Find peace when you sleep- the peace that poets seek- the final knowledge that life is good. How true is that. I wake up every day telling myself life is good. I even saw that on a hat the other day when I was hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park. Maybe, somebody is getting the message. Promise me this… The world has a chance to be right. The mountains are right. The sunlight is right. The moon rises full tomorrow. If night comes without her it promises only darkness. Yes if only life could be as simple and right as the sunlight or mountains, but beautiful in it's complexity. I see the moon without night as a warning for not keeping or accepting these promises. If we don't believe that life is good, we will never sleep peaceful and fly in our dreams, nor will we seek the truth of that same said goodness in life and give the world a chance. I like the repetition of "Promise me this", it works without becoming demanding. Great read, great vision, I enjoyed reading this Edwin and look forward to more of your writing in the future, Troy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-03-16 17:23:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 7.50000
Edwin, there is much promise within the words of this poem. I presume that faith is not enough for “poets who seek peace”. At any rate I find much of value in the words you share, and I will return the favor, with what I see within your dream. PROMISES – There is a presumption of “life” as the benefactor here, and that the “final knowledge”, you are later to speak of, does not necessarily come within this phase of “life”. The very fact that you expect “resolution”, insists that Calm seas, calm skies. Wind blows from the south. Spring will come tomorrow I am sure. . – Having sailed the North Atlantic during “winter” I know the signs of calm seas, which foretell the coming of spring. Always, the cycle, the warm air brings the promise of rebirth and more tolerable days. Promise me this… Happiness floats like sea gulls in the ocean air. – there is the metaphor, or life taking on the peaceful qualities of floating in the “spring” of living, stable enough that it takes little effort to be happy. You can fly in your dreams. – We begin to catch the timbre of the writer in these two lines. Flight is not an easily found commodity, but in dreams, hope, seeking, there is the promise that flight, equanimity, can be attained. You can dream when you sleep. – I though a long time on these lines before responding, that of sleep, and dreams without the effort. Reality, of dreams of living, is not the same as fantasy, of dreams never to be made reality. And in sleep, there is a sentience that dreams take on, so difficult to find in the waking, promises. Promise me this… Find peace when you sleep- the peace that poets seek- the final knowledge that life is good. – I have found there is a great difference between one who writes poetry, and a poet whose passions are written. There is a “secular” poet, that knows the fundamentals of poetry, but there are those, whose life is driven towards the “peace” of unanimity with love, passion, and the universe. You speak well the difference. Promise me this… The world has a chance to be right. The mountains are right. The sunlight is right. The moon rises full tomorrow. – I am not sure of ‘right”, there is an unequaled quality that borders transience within the meaning. Mountains, sunlight, moon rises, all “rights”, but I’ll bet, with just the stars remaining, the poet is walking in the darkness, with just the right amount of insanity, to absorb the “right” of the rest of living. If night comes without her it promises only darkness. – It may be a part of me that understands, something, but I have, at times, come to know, better than any other, the darkness, and it perfumes the spring, when the winds blow.. warm again. A wonderfully tactile piece Edwin, enjoyed it no end!!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-03-16 10:21:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.13636
Promises.....Interesting title poet..........we all make promises through this walk of life...... Calm seas, calm skies. Wind blows from the south. Spring will come tomorrow. I am sure. You have set a lovely setting with the calm seas and skies and the warm wind blowing in from the south bringing forth the hopes of Spring tomorrow.........reflects a very nice setting and I so love the ocean and the beauty created all around by it..... Promise me this.........can each of us promise something we have no control over? Good question for the thought it sets forth with the promise is enough for me....... Happiness floats like sea gulls in the ocean air. (and happiness could be to hear those sea gulls as they float above in that ocean air.) You can fly in your dreams. again nice images projected of freedom in flight..... You can dream when you sleep. Where would we be without dreams......when awake or asleep for what dreams I had as a child I no longer find in my adult life.........dreams are not within my heart unless they are nightmares....to which I turn a deaf sight.... Promise me this… Find peace when you sleep-.....again a lovely thought to find peace when one sleeps.....knowing poets usually find their words when they retire and rest....at least I do......they scurry about inside my head causing sleep to stay away for many a long hour.....hehehe.... the peace that poets seek- the final knowledge that life is good. Promise me this… The world has a chance to be right. The mountains are right. The sunlight is right. The moon rises full tomorrow. If night comes without her it promises only darkness. In reality poet what we need to do is try to keep that darkness away and the light will continue to bring peace, love and joy to the world we live in........promises .......to some are meant to be broken...... To others a promise is worth a million dollars and they will do anything to make it right.... Thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire Enjoyed this read very much and I would not change a thing......

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!