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This Poem was Submitted By: Joan M Whiteman On Date: 2005-07-21 07:40:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Bless Me, Father

You wear your past like penance painting contrition on your breast in so many scarlet letters. Telling no one your sins, you beg forgiveness from passing strangers. Try as you might, you cannot strike sparks from the ashes of absolution, you cannot wring tears from the empty wells of your eyes. Still, you drink brine, trying to slake your bitter thirst ignoring all you were ever taught. Turn away from the wind that whips your past. Ego te absolvo!

Additional Notes:
"Ego te absolvo" - Latin phrase meaning "I forgive you"

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-06 19:02:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Joan, We all are hardest on ourselves than on others. Turn away from the wind whipping past! Todays a new day! Your poem is an act of contrition. One we all should write. Your brave and sincere. Good job! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-07-28 12:51:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88462
Joan–I don’t recall reviewing any of your work before this, so welcome. This is a very dark theme piece you’ve presented, but a true rendering of well documented reprehensible acts by ogres professing to be devout followers. Furthermore, their hidden sexual misconduct has not only left many lives wrecked/destroyed and/or traumatized, but this atrociousness have put some churches and communities into a chaotic state. Your metaphoric language is quite eclectic: it is poetically penned, aptly accusatorial, caustically admonishing, advisory acute and genuinely redeeming. This Poem of Address, IMO, delivers a tremendous message in a few well chosen words. Keep writing. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-07-24 16:58:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Joan: I have not seen a poem of yours for a very long time – not since “Doppler Effect” or maybe “There is an Absence in You Mother.” This one is equally passionate, intense and probes right into the darker places in which we all live at one time or another. Your gift, if I may say so, is emotional honesty, along with superb crafting that calls no attention to itself but allows your theme and tone to fully enter the reader’s consciousness with no resistance. This one hits me, right in the solar plexus. It's your poem, but you bring me into it, for several reasons, some of which I won’t address in these comments to you today. Having experienced the confessional, or Act of Contrition, I am aware of the title’s general meaning or reference to that rite. And yet, the poem is addressed to a ‘father’ – one who cannot, does not absolve himself nor accept forgiveness from the one ‘sinned’ against and thereby continues to wound. But he is depicted as suffering far more than the speaker, having entered an unrelenting purgatory of remorse and regret. This calls to mind a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins, “My Own Heart Let Me More Have Pity On” My own heart let me more have pity on; let Me live to my sad self hereafter kind, Charitable; not live this tormented mind With this tormented mind tormenting yet. I cast for comfort I can no more get By groping round my comfortless, than blind Eyes in their dark can day or thirst can find Thirst's all-in-all in all a world of wet. But to your poem: You wear your past like penance painting contrition on your breast in so many scarlet letters. This imagery is so vivid, and you add to its impact with plosives in ‘penance/painting/breast” - like breast beating. Telling no one your sins, you beg forgiveness from passing strangers. He cannot speak them, but asks, with his eyes, for all to forgive him. He may be jovial or saturnine, but nevertheless cannot portray his true emotions because he has ‘damned’ them (dammed them) up. Try as you might, you cannot strike sparks from the ashes of absolution, you cannot wring tears from the empty wells of your eyes. To the extent that he cannot grieve the loss, cannot accept warmth, is isolated in a self-made prison, from which there is no parole or pardon. Still, you drink brine, trying to slake your bitter thirst ignoring all you were ever taught. He drinks tears, but ‘brine’ suggests wine, as well. He rejects his own former faith or beliefs in favor of self-flagellation or scourging. No one could punish him as sufficiently as he is able to do. No deity, IMO, would do so. Turn away from the wind that whips your past. You speak to him with great compassion here. It is his one chance for life, for connection and grace. My sense is that he will not hear. This poem breaks my heart. It is poignant without being sentimental – as I said, you gift for emotional honesty and penetrating insight is so very evident. Ego te absolvo! This is the saddest, most moving line. Because you allow us as readers to hear your unheard plea, your own pain, which is likely as intense as his. Though he is unaware of any chance of reprieve – you are. I wish I could offer hope (in fact, I feel it) and peace. And reconciliation, for that is what we all need most. Incredibly powerful. Magnificent in all respects. My best always, (Peace) Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-22 18:15:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70175
Bless Me Father.......early childhood upbringing in the Catholic church these words were a Saturday morning occurrence whether or not you had sins to tell......I remember well standing in line asking what they might be confessing before me so I won't repeat the same thing.........today, it seems that confession is still there but no one seems to use it.......thus it is not easy to forgive yourself when you cannot ask forgiveness from the One that died to set you free........good structure, word flow, images created along the way to produce such feelings involved within this read and within the soul doing the reading. I forgive you.........do we really know how much these three words truely mean when our Lord says them to us..........I forgive you.......indeed we need to forgive those that have offended us or we are the source that binds their soul here for without true forgiveness the Lord's hands seem tied........ I remember when my Godfather laid dying of cancer, my aunt and he lived in Florida at the time though they transported him home on plane to New Hampshire where their only son lived.....he went to a cancer hospital and there he waited......he raged with high fever, my aunt told me she did not know who he was waiting for but she asked me to come since I lived farther away it was difficult to make the trip daily. I went, I held his burning hand, I watched as his breathing became so rapid I thought his heart would jump out of his chest and into my very hand.......my aunt said though he was in a coma he could hear me, and I loved him so very much. I leaned over his aching body and whispered into his ear that .....I forgave him........it was a secret he and I knew for many years and here I was finally letting it go. He passed on that night in peace. In my heart I knew that the Father blessed him as He welcomed his son home..... sorry for ranting on poet.......this is a winner for certain and one that should be shared by many. Thank you for posting and sharing with us.....God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-22 15:45:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59459
Stunning write, Joan Whiteman!! There are truly those who go through life as you have written - flaying themselves for real or imagined *crimes* or *sins* which they think they have committed, and for which they need absolution. *Turn away from the wind that whips your past.* Wise words! *Ego te absolvo!* Sometimes the hardest words to say, but words which give freedom to the sayer and the person to whom it is said, if they will. Peace.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-22 13:38:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53191
Joan, Yes it is said that forgiveness is devine, it is at times hard to do as we should but you have put so much in true prospective here. You wear your past like penance painting contrition on your breast in so many scarlet letters. Telling no one your sins, you beg forgiveness from passing strangers. Try as you might, you cannot strike sparks from the ashes of absolution, you cannot wring tears from the empty wells of your eyes. {It is so easy to say words of deeds, but true deeds are written in the heart and bear the fruit of action} Still, you drink brine, trying to slake your bitter thirst ignoring all you were ever taught. Turn away from the wind that whips your past. {And yet even knowing that one is a fraud they continue on ignoring the very thing that could bring them peacce and salvation, but pride will not let them take that step} Ego te absolvo! {Forgiveness gives absolution to the forgiver, how sad that the one recieving the forgiveness can not or will not seek forgiveness from their self" Brillantly done, bravo, good structure and flow. Thank you for this read, it brings reaffirmation to this reader. For me this is a keeper, one for the winners list. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-07-22 12:21:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82353
Was this an abusive parent? Not being of the Christian faith it's hard for me to understand this type of forgiveness, but it is forgiveness none-the-less. Still, you drink brine, trying to slake your bitter thirst ignoring all you were ever taught. That is harsh, and I wonder if this person ever felt that bad. A very hard poem to write I believe, yet there is forgiveness in your words. Thanks for being so up front. Poets are so honest as you have been. Well done.

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