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This Poem was Submitted By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-08-13 14:47:47 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Love

In what world Could a single word Ever dream to depict A f r e e f a l l At speeds unfathomable Into an ocean of sentiment So d e e p For a boy Eternally etched into and under my skin?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-09-04 17:05:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94595
That's love in this world Audrey. How men often do it to us can be amazing. I love the free fall aspect that you bring to the poem, and it coincides with falling in love. You use all the right words to make this short poem a gem of a contribution on the subject. The last line speaks volume, the idea of a boy being eternally etched within makes your heart throb. This poem is filled with lovely words. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-08-24 06:27:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Ah, Audrey, a tribute to a word, abused and misused at times, but with its true meaning as lofty as the skies..... I love the visuals of your words, which only serve to underline the feeling of not being able to help ourselves when we fall in love; and in the depth that can be felt in the soft confines of that feeling. The line *Eternally etched into and under my skin* is priceless. Thanks so much for a lovely write. Peace. Joyce

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-08-23 22:23:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Audrey, One day, a lover should write a parachute poem. It would do a great service to humanity. Perhaps I am seeing the ground approaching too fast in your descent. Good luck to you. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-08-18 11:49:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86667
Audrey--Unique presentation/outstanding layout. Age old theme with eyecatching and interesting attention getting idea: scribe/protagonist uses vivid imagery to relate adoration and enthrallment for this particular beau. Well done! TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-08-17 02:01:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Love, nice title which has the reader reading more...........love seems to make the world go round as they say but you poet have added a nice touch of free falling and the structure used to present this poem fits it well too. You had me feeling like I was standing at the top of a cliff, perhaps over looking the ocean and before I knew it I took a step into a free falling feeling. Love has not been presented in this manner before that I know of.....the man of your affections must be very special indeed to be forever etched under your skin. So much to see and feel within the lines poet, soft and gentle as well as powerful. Thank you for posting and sharing. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-08-16 09:50:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Audrey, I love the structure and the visual presentation of your piece. Your wording flows easily leading your reader on as if they were "freefalling". I have not as before seen love quite discribed this way but it sure does fit. Your words leave the reader filled with enchantment that two could come to such a place "love", your poem struck me as soft, giving and sensual. Whom ever the object of your love is, they are very fortunate. Kudos, this is a winner in my book......simple elegance. Thank you for the read. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-08-14 11:03:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Audrey, You've captured the depth of the word and the essence behind the emotion of it and have done a fantastic job of doing so. 'Love' immerses all of us...it makes (and sometimes breaks) all that we truly live for and your description of it as a 'freefall' is spot on. You've improvised on this by depicting this freefall in the structure of your poem thereby enhancing the thought to be conveyed to your reader. You've done the same with your depiction of the 'depth' of the emotions that this word evokes. Aptly titled Love (to the point), I am sure that the boy 'eternally etched into and under' your skin will be proud that you have captured your feelings for him with flair. Another fine piece of writing from you. Very well done! Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2005-08-13 20:25:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Audrey, It's nice to have stumbled on your poetry! You have a fresh poetic technique here! The concept of love is being related to a freefall. You know, I am a graduate of BS Physics and I can relate the idea of freefall. For a boy Eternally etched into and under my skin? Ah, this is a dedication to someone! Indeed, love's measure is unfathomable. Thanks for sharing this with us. Jordan

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