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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-12 15:41:27 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Awakened Spring

I view the daybreak, spilled in sunshine's gold which flood my world in hues of wakened pleasure it summons me to such abundant treasure I barely grasp the beauty I behold. For on this fine Spring day, I feel a stir a wakening, of all stilled bounty bound new life springs forth, the Earth's rebirth profound in gentle breeze, abundant joys occur. The crocus and the daffodil arise to lift their heads and greet a warming sun and sparrow's song, rings sweet that Spring's begun the perfection in God's work, before my eyes. I barely grasp the beauty I behold it summons me to such abundant treasure which floods my world in hues of wakened pleasure I view the daybreak, spilled in sunshine's gold.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-05 21:30:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi there Nancy, I am glad to have stumbled at your poetry. So much in the energy on this one and I am fully awakened... I am fully awakened that... - it contains with so much wonderful imageries one can energize on (is my words apt?) - these imageries are abundant treasure in themselves - nice rhyming with ABBA all the way, creating a very nice sound when read aloud My favorite strophe is the third one: The crocus and the daffodil arise to lift their heads and greet a warming sun and sparrow's song, rings sweet that Spring's begun the perfection in God's work, before my eyes. Thank you for the energy this poems and more of this please!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-05-02 11:11:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, What is this form called. The rhyme scheme is unique and I like the repitition. It kind of reminds me of a Vianelle, maybe... At any rate this caught my eye because I love Spring and nature. And because of your way of turning a phrase. My favorite stanza is "The crocus and the daffodil arise to lift their heads and greet a warming sun and sparrow's song, rings sweet that Spring's begun the perfection in God's work, before my eyes." I especially like the way you give credit where it's due. Thanks for this lovely Spring delight. My Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-04-30 19:24:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Nancy, How utterly lovely. I feel as if I were in your garden.... Viewing your flowers with sunshine's warmth spilling over me. Your rhymiming begining/end.......and two center lines was good. Rhyming but not overwhelmingly forced. Good job. It flowed along like a song. Most enjoyable. dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-19 14:37:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Nancy...Oh how this poem sings to me. My favorite subject to write about is nature...it is an never ending pallete of wonders to behold. You have done a fin job with this poem about Spring...using delicious word choices that make it come alive on the page. Your rhyming is spot on with a wondeful musical sound, especially when read aloud. "spilled in sunshine's gold" is just lovely as is the entire poem...."I barely grasp the beauty I behold" makes me remember what has been in my own heart when seeing God's wonders. Well done...bravo. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-13 22:34:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.11111
Nancy Ann, This is pure perfection to the ears and the mind. Of course, when it comes to God's work it is going to be perfection. Your discripters are so vivid and uplifting, a true blessing/great reminder of all we so often take for granted. I especially like how your opening line is your closing line *smile* and I will join you in your celebration of wakened pleasure. Thank you for the honor of this read. best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-13 07:26:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Really like the ending on how sunshine brings in the treasures of nature. This is a well structured poem and does not lose the reader in thought. It gives a picture of new life as spring comes into play. Well done with the rhyming also first,last and second, third lines. Especially like the reversal of the first stanza's last words in the last stanza. Thanks for sharing a well constructed poem.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-12 21:15:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Nancy Ann, The spirit of spring, is found within your verses. The reader can readily read along, and find this season of rebirth, in almost every line of this poem. Your descriptives are all, true, natural phrases associated with this time of year. Such as: fine Spring day, feel a stir, a wakening, new life springs forth, the Earths rebirth, gentle breeze. I like how you begin and end this with the same verse, reinforcement that pulls the piece together, and visibly makes the reader see the beauty as you describe it. God and nature have given you inspiration, and in this is the essence of this poem. Sincerely, Denimari

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