Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2006-04-13 08:58:23 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Portrait

Your eyes’ ebony - An outline of subtlety Shaded in the true hues of mindfulness The color of resolve.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-06 21:14:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78378
Hi Audrey, I need to say something on this one before the voting ends. This is the first time I have read your poem although I found out that you have been submitting heresince 2005. Oh, you are 23, closer to my age 26! Glad to see you here. Anyway, this is so terse but so stong to describe the theme. I could not say anything but amazed how this works as a whole, firm and defined. Let me read some of your works submitted earlier. Thanks for sharing this one and I hope I can see more... Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-05-02 07:27:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Audrey, This sounds like a potrait of someone who is on a steady course. There's much you can tell about a person and especially a loved one by their eyes. This speaks volumes of your esteem without getting overly sentimental. That's hard to do. I particularly like the way you end the first two lines with Y's. This creates a euphony that is quite enjoyable. I really really like the "true hues of mindfulness". And a great ending. You use imagry to paint a portrait out of shadow and that is pretty tricky! I wouldn't change a thing with this one. My Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ronald D Istivan On Date: 2006-04-18 21:21:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cool, concise poem - the opening line is excellent. It sets the tone for the entire poem. The last line is also good, it wraps the poem up nicely, I think, but it is concrete enough to give us readers a sense of what is happening. I'm not so sure about the second line - "an outline of subtlety". I like the idea of an outline, but I don't know if the word "subtlety" would be the strongest word choice here. You may not even need the word "subtlety" - "outline" may be enough.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-14 12:01:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
OH I enjoyed this so much. I love short and well crafted poetry, that manages to say just enough and leave the reader wondering about the subject even more. I could picture those ebony eyes staring right back at me. thanks for sharing

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-04-13 16:25:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Audrey, Nice to see your poem here. It's been a long hard winter at TPL. I like this poem. Shaded in hues of mindfulness! Green of envy, dark of hate, blue of truth,... The eye the showing of the soul! The eye showing love.....All with resolve, Not even knowing that it shows. [all things] IT CAN'T SHOW OUTSIDE UNLESS IT COMES FROM INSIDE. My eyes tell of liking this..and what do your eyes tell of? dellena

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!