This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-07-12 16:18:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Painting A Picture I dab my paintbrush of words
into colors of summer
splaying them outward across
the canvas now in progress.
Colors set vividly fresh,
foliage greens, sunrise yellows,
pinks and reds of passion's clues
and back dropped by sky high blues.
The brush moves back and forth in
swing to nature's pendulum.
The heart drums of liveliness
time departs in eagerness.
Painting with the sentiment
of an inspired creator
who sees world's community
vibrate to tunes of harmony.
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Copyright © July 2006 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-08-05 10:33:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena,
What a lovely display you have painted!
I like your vision and hope to see many more of your "creations".
Love the "Sky high blues"!
The last two stanzas blow me away, Like the pendulum is swinging wider
and your timing is just awesome.
Kudos, Poet, this is a huge success.
Best,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-08-02 19:53:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
this is great my friend..I really enjoyed this..it flows so well as ith the pendulum you speak of. Loved this line "back dropped by sky high blues. " very nice when read aloud, as is the rest of this read..I like the way you ended this piece as well with the rhyme and the reference to the devine..nice !
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-07-28 01:28:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Oh I can see your're getting your harmony back. Great inspiration here. Your last stanza doesn't really reflect what's going on in the world today now does it? I think the world's creator is crying!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-07-13 16:03:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena--This is saturated with colorful metaphors from the title
through the pious ending. A unique rhyming scheme ehances the anal-
ogous work. "Painting A Picture" is truly apt in these phrases and
carry's the theme well. Animately done. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-13 12:55:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Wow Dellena, this is beautiful! This is a work of art that speaks directly to my heart! (sorry about the rhyme-not intended)
Your first verse opens right up front and to the point. Painting with words! beautiful
Colors of summer-and then you name them in the verses that follow. Great direction and follow-through.
pinks and reds of passion's clues
and back dropped by sky high blues.
......this is the only place you need to give attention to (that I can see).
Your first verse, and the two lines that follow are very clear, vibrant and full of passion. Then you almost repeat yourself....I think it steals from the passion when I know your intent is to bring them to life. I think you lost track of 'summer's colors' there. Your rhyme seems a bit forced too. I don't mean to pick it apart-forgive me- but it's just something I see.
'sky high blues'...beautiful sky blues...or something....might just change the wording a bit for a better flow...
Oh the last two verses are so profound! I really like it. It's a beautiful piece of art.
Kudos! It's great
Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-07-12 22:56:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena,
Spectacular, awesome, breathtaking, spellbinding in it's perfection. This is a very smooth read, takes me to thoughts of "Mother" and how she dress's our tera, what pleasure it must give to paint such deliciously vivid colored pictures. I was going to say that I thought the third stanza was my favorite but that would be so unfair to the other stanzas, I just can't pick a favorite part. You've left me mesmerized, this is one of your finest poems and I can find no nit. As Marilyn would say, two roses at your feet.
Blessings,
Lora
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